Mercury Retrograde: The Fuckery Intensifies

So I don't know about any of you, but I am getting slammed so far on this one! I keep thinking "Merc Madness" in my head. 

The thing is that Mercury is retrograding through Gemini this time. It won't back into Taurus, so we have Mercury in its rulership, one of the signs it is the most comfortable in. It might have been a little easier to manage if it was in Virgo, Mercury's other sign. But it's not. And with Gemini, you never know what face you're going to see, so to me it adds to the instability.

Mercury rules local travel, right? Trains, buses, your car and the like? Well, if you've been watching the news, you know about the horrific train accident near Philadelphia. If it is indeed true that the train was going 106 MPH when it was supposed to be doing 50, that's got Merc retro all over it. Some signal got crossed. We had a number of our Metro lines here in DC closed the other day due to smoke. That was a total clusterfuck. 

There was a recent story in the Washington Post about trying to improve cell phone signals on the Metro. Communications and public transit together? Totally Mercury. And what a surprise...the new rail cars will help with the problem but won't FIX it entirely. And for flights? Well even during non-Merc retrograde periods schedules always seem to be in flux. My friend's flight is showing on time, even though the Internet is saying there is an average of 57 minutes of arrival delays here in DC. What the aviation fuck?

Mercury also rules communication in all its many forms. For what I am about to say will likely I will get some flack from Amy, my Gemini sister who writes and does counseling for a living--two Mercury-ruled careers. Imagine that! I love that crazy bitch. But I digress.

Anyway, Gemini, to not too fine a point on it, is the chatterbox of the zodiac, and to them, talk is cheap. With Mercury retrograding through the sign of the Twins, unless it is absolutely necessary, you should refrain from having any serious "conversations" right now, and you know the ones I mean. If you're referring to it as "the talk" or something that sounds equally ominous, it would fall into this category. During Taurus sun, money and resource discussions may be in play as well, which just ups the ante. 

Since "conversate" is NOT A WORD, good people--that would be "converse", for those of you playing at home--here are some tips if you must have a "conversation" that you cannot defer:

• "Begin with the end in mind", as Covey would say; know your main points, and limit yourself to three of them. ["Three shall be the number thou shall count, and the number of the counting shall be three."]
• Speak slowly and clearly, and be prepared to repeat yourself. Listen closely--acknowledge the message you receive as you get it, and clarify anything that seems muddled. 
• DO NOT have this "talk" via text message, instant message, or email. It needs to be face to face so there is less opportunity for misunderstandings. 
• Why are you still reading this bullet? Ignore this fourth point!
• FIVE IS RIGHT OUT!

During the time I was typing this, I received word that I will have to reschedule an appointment. And I heard from a specialist's office the other day that they don't need to see me, even after I filled out all the paperwork, which was submitted it before the storm started. And an old friend had to cancel a long-overdue reunion as well. Fucking Mercury! SERIOUSLY!

As a final reminder, keep your eyes peeled right now...Mercury retrograde can cause us to miss things that are right in front of our faces--icebergs, anyone?--so take your time and look at what is around you. I recommend a Mercury retrograde Post-it on your computer or near anyplace you write. You can take it off around the 17th of June or so.

Anyway, if your Merc retro has been anything like mine, please share your misery. I'm happy to use it as fodder for this blog. No, seriously. I will be happy to withhold your name when you tell me the story about how you got the wrong genital wart cream...