An Invitation to Visit Saturn

Saturn: Welcome, John! Thanks so much for coming. Please come in. 

John: Thank you, Saturn. Very kind of you to invite us. This is my wife Jennifer.

Jennifer: [reaches out to shake hands] It's a pleasure to meet you, Saturn. John's told me a lot about you!

Saturn: Very nice to meet you too, Jennifer. John speaks highly of you. Please sit down and make yourselves comfortable. Jennifer, John told me you wouldn't say no to a bit of scotch...

Jennifer: [accepts glass] I would never turn down scotch, Saturn. Thank you. [tastes] Excellent! 

Saturn: I'm glad you approve. John?

John: Thank you, Saturn. [accepts glass] I must admit I was intrigued by your invitation. I have to wonder why the greater malefic would want to see me in person. 

Saturn: Well, John...I must admit that I've been hearing some things from your blog followers, and well, I wanted to bring them to your attention.

John: Sure, Old Man. What's on your mind?

Saturn: A few of them are saying what I have said for many years: That your view of me is too narrow and too harsh. 

John: [puzzled look] Really? That's fascinating. I hadn't heard that. 

Saturn: Yes, well...I have excellent sources. 

John: I'm sure you do. [Pause] I thought we had settled this before, but I guess an explanation is in order. You are aware of your role in my chart?

Saturn: Of course I am! Are you?

John: Well, if I didn't I'm missing a large gap in my astrology studies. You rule my rising sign, my Moon, my Mars (if we're thinking classically) as well as the 2nd house cusp. In addition, you oppose Jupiter with a rather small orb, and that opposition forms the handle of my "bucket" chart configuration. Did I miss anything?

Jen: John, for the non-astrologer in the room, could you repeat that in English?

John: Certainly, my love. Saturn is all over my chart. My expression, my physical body, my financial resources, and my values all contain Saturn's influence. Also, the handle of the "bucket" formation of my astrology chart makes sure that no part of my astrological makeup is free of Saturn's influence.

Jen: That makes sense. Now I think I understand more clearly how you feel about Saturn.

Saturn: Jen, one of the reasons I asked you to join John on this visit is because I was hoping it would remove any possible tension between John and I. He does an excellent job of vilifying me in his blog, and some of his readers think he's doing me a disservice. 

John: Saturn, there's no need to bring Jen into this. [To Jen] I'm sorry, honey...

Jen: No, I think Saturn is right, John. It's important that I speak to Saturn about this, so he can see that even in spite of all his vast wisdom he made a tactical error inviting me. [smiles]

Saturn: [faltering smile] I'm sorry...I'm not sure what you mean, my dear. 

Jen: You don't need to "dear" me, Saturn. But you do need to understand something that I know very well. Aren't you aware that John's blogs about you are fiction? He's using a tried and true literary technique called personification. I used it in my book Magick Charm when the ferret Nostradamus practically stole the show.

Saturn: That's more Mercury's department than mine, Jennifer. With no disrespect intended, I don't read fiction or understand the reason for it. Literary devices used purely for enjoyment are lost on me. 

Jen: No offense taken, Old Man. But my point is that John's portrayal of you is based on his experience working with you, or not. I can safely assure you, however, that every part of his life is touched by you, and it's not always good. John can be kind of dark and brooding at times, and while my knowledge of astrology is limited, I do happen to know that you can really bring someone down emotionally. So you're not really in a position to question John's experience, since his emotions are his, not right or wrong. 

Saturn: [SIGH] I was afraid he had gotten to you first, Jennifer. I thought with your Mercury in Libra you might be able to comprehend my point of view...the truth, if you will.

Jen: [turns to John] What is Mercury in Libra?

John: Balanced thinking and mental processing, as well as even-handed expression. 

Jen: Thanks! [turns back to Saturn] That's true about me, Saturn. And while I understand and respect your point of view, as a novelist, it's all about the author speaking her truth, or in John's case, his truth. As such, John's truth about you is colored by his experiences, which, you understand, have not always been positive. 

John: That's Mercury in Libra diplomacy for you, Saturn, right there.

Saturn: [To John] Indeed. [To Jen] While I categorically reject your argument as ridiculous, I find you quite charming nonetheless. I might even consider buying your books simply to support your long-term business goals.

Jen: Word. 

Saturn: John? I think I need the translation now.

John: Certainly! That's Jen's way of saying, "Thanks for buying my books. Please be sure to leave me a review, and please notice that my glass is empty."