Venus: Neptune! Fashionably late as usual! Please come in. We're about to start on the tree.
Neptune: Venus...it's so great to see you! [hugs Venus] I look forward to parties at your house!
Venus: [blushes] Well, what could be better than celebrating the upcoming solstice together?
Pluto: [low voice] Laying waste to large groups of people. Razing buildings. Starting over. All of these things would be better.
Saturn: I'm sorry, Pluto...could you repeat that? I couldn't hear over all the frivolity.
Pluto: Never mind, Old Man. I hate enforced "team building" activities.
Sun: Oh, come on, Pluto! A little holiday cheer won't kill you. [to the Moon] Come on, Luna...we have to put the lights on first!
Moon: Of course, Sol. [takes one end of the string and hands the rest to the Sun] Go around the back and I'll make sure it doesn't get tangled like last year.
Venus: [blushes] Well, what could be better than celebrating the upcoming solstice together?
Pluto: [low voice] Laying waste to large groups of people. Razing buildings. Starting over. All of these things would be better.
Saturn: I'm sorry, Pluto...could you repeat that? I couldn't hear over all the frivolity.
Pluto: Never mind, Old Man. I hate enforced "team building" activities.
Sun: Oh, come on, Pluto! A little holiday cheer won't kill you. [to the Moon] Come on, Luna...we have to put the lights on first!
Moon: Of course, Sol. [takes one end of the string and hands the rest to the Sun] Go around the back and I'll make sure it doesn't get tangled like last year.
Uranus: No trips to the ER tonight, folks!
Mars: Unlike last year when you slipped on your way out the door and had a groin pull? I told you if you stretched more you wouldn't have been laid up for so long.
Uranus: It was an accident, Mars. Accidents happen.
Mercury: Statistically it happens more when you're around, Urnie. I checked! [Pause] Jupiter, you have the ornaments, right?
Jupiter: Yeah, I brought them.
Venus: Which ones did you bring, Jupiter? There was this amazing solar system ornament set from the IFLScience Store, and it had a glass ornament for each of us! Totally amazing but way out of my price range.
Saturn: I'd go so far as to say those ornaments were exorbitant, Venus, although I will say that they appear to be very high quality indeed.
Jupiter: Well it just so happens that I bought the usual balls and the like...
Mars: Did you bring any BLUE balls, Jupiter? HAHAHAHA!
Pluto: [low voice] Not like yours are, Chairman of Masturbatory Operations.
Jupiter: ...but I also happened to buy these as well! It's the solar system ornament set from the IFLScience Store!
Venus: Wow, Jupiter! This is an amazing gift! How did you afford it?
Jupiter: You only live once, Venus, and I make it a point not to look at my credit card bill online until after the holidaze.
[Saturn shakes head]
Sun: Wow, Jupiter. [picks up the sun ornament] These are amazing and gorgeous! I think mine will have to be on the front of the tree toward the top.
Moon: Mine will be on the opposite side of the tree, Sol. And we need everyone's attention for a moment!
[talking and activity ceases]
Moon: Sol, would you do the honors? [hands light string plug to the Sun]
Sun: Absolutely, dear lady. Here goes! [plugs in the lights and the tree turns a brilliant light blue color][Everyone oohs and aahs over lights]
Sun: Luna, why are they BLUE? I thought they were going to be multicolored.
Moon: There's a switch, Sol, and they CAN be multicolored, but I prefer a nice blue. Don't you?
Sun: Well, actually I...
Venus: [interrupts] It's lovely, Luna! Thanks so much! Let's head into the dining room, everyone! The first round of starters is coming out of the oven!
Mars: Hot dogs in crescent rolls, baby! The snack of champions!
[Everyone goes into the other room except Saturn and Pluto]
Saturn: You can't possibly hate being here as much as I do.
Pluto: You have no idea, you old bastard. If we weren't required to be here, I'd so be getting laid right now. [nods toward dining room] Now let's get in there before Mars the neanderthal sucks it all down.
Saturn: Check with Neptune. He always has alcohol, and that will make it easier to handle the obligatory festivities.
Pluto: Agreed.
Venus: [interrupts] It's lovely, Luna! Thanks so much! Let's head into the dining room, everyone! The first round of starters is coming out of the oven!
Mars: Hot dogs in crescent rolls, baby! The snack of champions!
[Everyone goes into the other room except Saturn and Pluto]
Saturn: You can't possibly hate being here as much as I do.
Pluto: You have no idea, you old bastard. If we weren't required to be here, I'd so be getting laid right now. [nods toward dining room] Now let's get in there before Mars the neanderthal sucks it all down.
Saturn: Check with Neptune. He always has alcohol, and that will make it easier to handle the obligatory festivities.
Pluto: Agreed.
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