Ren's Day: Father-Daughter Day?

[Ren walks quickly up to a set of pine double doors and knocks rapidly.]

Mars: I’m comin', I’m comin'. Don’t get your panties in a twist!

[The double doors burst open to reveal a giant, red-haired mountain of a man.]

Mars: REN!!!!!

[The giant red mountain’s face erupted in a smile so bright it could blind you.]

Ren: MARS!

Mars: Get your sorry ass in here! I’ve had the floors waxed twice for your visit.

Ren: The floors, waxed?

[Mars steps aside and motions for Ren to come inside. The double doors opened to reveal a full school gymnasium. Wooden floors gleam from wall to wall, with a shiny red gladiator embossed in the middle.]

Ren: This is your office?

Mars: Of course! What did you expect, a room with a desk and a lamp or like a filing cabinet or some shit?

Ren: No, this is very you, in fact I should have guessed it would look something like this.

[Mars’ laughter booms through the gym]

Mars: So, are you ready for our ‘meeting’?

Ren: Actually, I was hoping we could reschedule. I’ve got a lot going on right now and no time to do any of it.

Mars: Bullshit! Tell me what the fuck could be so important that I, of all planets, don’t get to see you. I’ve already waited two weeks!

Ren: Well, I’ve got bills, and more bills just keep getting added to my pile. The job I have to pay for said bills? Well that ship is sinking and I am terrified I won’t be able to find a new one. Also the fact that I’ll be 25 next month and I still live at home with my parents and I don’t have career or any fucking idea what I’m supposed to do with my life. OH! And I had a panic attack on the way here.

[Ren lets out a long breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding in.]

Mars: Well it seems like my meeting might actually be what you need right now.

Ren: How so?

Mars: Well, I’ve enlisted the help of ten college bros to play a little game of dodgeball against us. That’s right, against us!

Ren: Oh, they don’t stand a chance.

[Both Mars and Ren let out an almost evil sounding laugh.]

Mars: LET THE SACRIFICES ENTER AND MEET THEIR END!

[One by one, ten college aged dudes dressed in various styles entered the gym and took their places on the other side of the red line. Smiles were plastered on their faces when they realized the ten of them were going up against a man and what looked like a little green haired girl.]

Mars: Any final words?

[No one answered. Mars blows the whistle and all hell breaks loose: Rubber balls flying and smacking bare flesh and sweaty clothing. One after the other, the college dudes fall, hard on their asses and faces alike until only Ren and Mars are standing, panting from the exertion.]

Mars: So?

Ren: Better.

Mars: Wonderful! So, should I text Lady Moon and have her set up your next meeting?

Ren: Yeah, maybe I’ll be in a better place to talk next week.

Mars: Well you know where to find me if you need to blow off steam, or perhaps spill some blood?

Ren: I love the way you think.