Saturn vs. Neptune: Letter of Intent

Neptune: Greetings, Revered Elder. Might I have a word with thee?
Saturn: So formal, Neptune? That is a very nice gesture.
N: Don’t get used to it, Old Man. I’m about to ruin your day, but at least I’ll be out of here quickly. I’m just here passing on a message.
S: Oh crap. What government needs fixing this time? Tell me it’s not the Quebec separatist movement again.
N: It’s more personal, I’m afraid. John asked me to deliver this letter to you and see that its instructions are carried out. I told him that since you follow instructions well, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. I’m not the most responsible astrological planet, you know.
S: Of course you’re not. That would be ME. You can’t even figure out what gender you are.
N: Yes, well…let me read this to you.

Dear Saturn…I hope this letter finds you well. After much thought, I have decided to follow through on my plan to write a book. I’m using a program called “A Round of Words in 80 Days” (aroundofwordsin80days.wordpress.com) where I can set my own writing goal. I want to have a rough draft of all 78 tarot cards of my tarot book written when this period is over.

Regretfully, your past detrimental influence on me in the act of writing requires me to cease all contact with you for this time period so I may successfully attain this goal. I appreciate your understanding, and please be assured that you will be my guiding influence to edit the hell out of this book once created.

Warmly,

John

PS: Any attempt to contact me during this time is most unwelcome, and will result in negative consequences, like me telling people that Capricorns are boring, unemotional, and overly cautious. Just sayin’.

S: I remember our past discussion, but I never thought there was any way he’d tell me to get out of his life.
N: You don’t do well with “temporary”, Old Man, but you can come back. Just take the rest of the summer off! Aren’t there some organizations that need new org charts or a government who needs more bureaucracy? Once the Sun moves into Libra again, then you can think about coming back.
S: I’m really disappointed in him. He’s always been such a reliable person, and now this? It’s so UNFAIR.
N: I need to give John an answer, Saturn. Do you understand what I have just read to you and agree to abide by its conditions?
S: [SIGH] Yes, of course I do. Tell John I’ll miss him.
N: I will, Saturn. Once we’re done, you can have him back. See you in a few months. John will be posting status updates on his blog twice a week so you can see his progress.