Letters From Saturn: Celebrating Saturnalia

Dear John,

I wish you the blessings of the Winter Solstice! According to my calculations, it appears that the Sun will move into Capricorn at 11:48pm this evening in your area. This begins a two-month stretch of signs that I rule as well...in ancient times I also ruled the sign of Aquarius, and had dominion over the entire month surrounding the new calendar year. Uranus, of course, now rules the last part of January, but I'd like to think I still hold some sway.

I read your blog post last night and was surprised at how much like me you sounded. Truly a Saturnian blog that was, and I was extremely appreciative of it. But you sounded more pessimistic than your usual self, so I wanted to take the opportunity to wish you well in my own way. 

Saturnalia was a holiday festival held in my honor in ancient Roman times. You probably thought it was a big bore, but it was actually the most well-known of the ancient Roman holidays. 

There was a public banquet, people exchanged gifts, and in an interesting twist, a number of Roman laws were suspended for the duration of the festival. Think about it: We turned Rome into a casino and carnival in my honor for several days every December. The great poet Catallus called Saturnalia "the best of days" because at that one time of year, masters would serve their slaves table side. 

People had a really good time and truly enjoyed themselves. We did this for centuries until Christianity found its way into the Roman Empire, and then the party ended. But Saturnalia was so popular that it influenced modern holidays like Yule and Christmas. Good times!

As you have heard many times this year, you must "play the hand you're dealt" astrologically. In other words, as much as some days you'd like to believe I don't exist, you're sort of stuck with me, and you will bow to me eventually. I rule your chart and there's no getting around that. 

At the same time, I'm also stuck with you. In 2015, to be candid, you didn't make it easy on either of us. I'll give you credit for your determination and certainly I admire your tenacity, but there comes a time when you will have to bend to my will. Despite our past differences, I feel like you're getting around to that point now in your life. 

On this Saturnalia I have a message for you: While we're not "master and slave" per se--especially these days that phrase has so many other connotations that I will not address at this time--I bow to you and thank you for your service in my name this year. If there was an Applebee's close by me, I'd be the one bringing over your bar sampler personally and more than one refill of Diet Pepsi. 

We should try to make productive use of the limited time we have together in the coming years. I hope to interact more with you in a positive way in 2016, but if and when that occurs is not really up to me. It's up to you and I hope you will put more effort into our relationship than you have in the past, more than the standard jokes you like to throw my way. I'm all for fun at my expense...wait a minute. Of course I'm not. So never mind what I was just going to say.

I mean you no disrespect, John, but last night, you sounded like a tired, old man. Despite your experiences this past calendar year, you're still young, even though people ruled by me are "born old". And it sounds like you could use a little Saturnalia yourself, young man. So I hope you will take a little of your own advice and enjoy the time with your lovely wife and family this season.

You and I will work something out. It will take time and effort, but I've got plenty of both. I'd like to ask for you to keep an open mind; you may find me more of an ally than you originally thought. 

Blessed Yule to you and yours, and keep me in Saturnalia!

Very truly yours,

Saturn