Joining the Family at Sticks and Stones in Fairfax, VA!

Jupiter: Little dude! What are you doing here? I'm supposed to be doing the shameless marketing around here!

Pluto: Cut out that "little" shit, you expanding windbag! We're talking about a wholesale fucking CHANGE here, so of course, I'm going to show up. Got a problem with that?

Jupiter: [nervously] No, Pluto. Of course not!

Pluto: Didn't think so. Get on with it.

Jupiter: [smiling] Right. Anyway, as John's favorite shill, I'm here to tell you that you'll have more opportunities to see John in person! He'll be joining the Sticks and Stones family in Fairfax, VA, as a tarot reader on Tuesday evenings!

Pluto: And he's still reading in Occoquan, right?

Jupiter: Of course! This is an expansion! Those dates are still on his calendar. Why do less when you can do MORE?

Pluto: Damn right! And you assholes reading these better remember he's one of mine! This will be a perfect spot in John's quest for TOTALLLLLLLL WORLD DOMINATIONNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Jupiter: Ummmm, not really. Have you met John? And why do you sound like that guy who always says "Let's get ready to rumble!" at the beginning of the fake wrestling matches?

Pluto: Because this is serious shit. We're not playing around today, Mr. Exaggeration.

Jupiter: Well, you know you kind of interrupted the flow I was going for...

Pluto: Look, don't give me any flack, Big Picture. I'm here, I did my part, and now I'm going to fuck right off. But to say thanks for including me, I've asked Mercury to help me make some travel reservations for you for your next retrograde. [hands a packet to Jupiter]

Jupiter: An adventure! Wicked cool! Where am I going?

Pluto: New Mexico! It's the only place in the continental United States that has a geologic nuclear waste facility, and I figured you might want to see it! I've been five times. I just can't get enough. 

Jupiter: [looking down at papers] Ummmm, thanks? 

Pluto: Don't mention it. I put it on Saturn's credit card.

Jupiter: Wait, what?

Pluto: Bon voyage!