Eclipses with a Skeleton Crew

Moon: Sol, are you ready for us to do our eclipse dance together?

Sun: Yes, Luna. I absolutely am; three of them total over five weeks. But I'll also need a status report...seems like lots of folks are out and about. 

Moon: Yes, Sol, it's pretty quiet around here. I really like having everyone around but that won't happen for a while yet. It makes me a little sad. 

Sun: I understand, Luna. Could we go over it again to make sure I know what's coming? It's been a little hard for me to focus.

Moon: Of course, Sol! At the moment, Mars, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto are all on their respective retrograde trips. Mercury will be going out soon, much to the chagrin of many, I'm sure...

Sun: [chuckles] So few people get to see your goofy side, Luna.

Moon: [beams] It's true, Sol, and you know it. I don't need to tell everyone what I'm feeling, do I?

Sun: Fair enough, Luna. I thought Merc was on his way out soon. 

Moon: July 26th is when he's going. 

Sun: Seems like he just got back. 

Moon: That's a pretty common sentiment. [pause] Jupiter just got back, though. I'm guessing people are pretty happy about that since he was gone in March. 

Sun: He does bring the fun! When is everyone else coming back?

Moon: Well, Merc is going out soon. He'll be out...well, people are already starting to feel the effects of his absence, but technically he's not retrograde YET. He's away starting the 26th and then he'll be back by August 19. The effects could linger as far as late August, but you know he's never gone long. 

Sun: Honestly, my concern is Mars more than anyone else. When does he get back?

Moon: He's back on August 27th. His trips always last around 2 months. I don't think he can stand any more than that, Sol. You know how he is!

Sun: [chuckles] Luna, you know how to cut right to the heart of the matter. I know a lot of folks will be glad to have him back, too. Who else are we talking about?

Moon: The curmudgeon is back on September 6th, though some days I wish he could stay gone longer. 

Sun: You're not the only one to say that, I'm sure, Luna. No matter what you say, Luna, he thinks highly of YOU, though, even though you've called him impressively terrible names in private. 

Moon:  That's because I'm a professional, Sol. And Saturn doesn't think highly of ANYONE. I'm lucky enough to get his respect, and that will have to be enough.

Sun: Agreed. What about our outer planets?

Moon: Uranus is out until early January...moving into Taurus probably made him realize he should go have a look around and see what kind of madness he's wrought. Poor people!

Sun: I know you feel for them, Luna. But you know how he is. Come in, cause a revolution, move on. Repeat. What about Neptune?

Moon: He's floating around out there somewhere in the ether, but that's not saying much. He's back on November 24, and before that, Pluto returns on September 30. 

Sun: Hmmmmm. And not long after that Venus goes out on retrograde too, right? 

Moon: Correct. October 6 through November 14. Should make it interesting for those buying early Yule presents for loved ones. 

Sun: Indeed. Things are going to be nuts for a while. And I almost forgot that it's time for me to leave your sign of Cancer. Just a few more hours now...

Moon: [Sigh] Yes, that's true. I do love it when you're in Cancer, but you LOVE being in Leo so I know it will be a good time.