Venus: Yes, sir! Definitely.
Sun: Glad to hear it! Gentlemen? What about you?
Saturn: Joy to the world is not really my cup of tea, sir. But once the solstice comes and my power is renewed I’m sure I’ll be more...
Jupiter: Don’t say ‘Jovial’, Old Man. We all know that isn’t you!
Saturn: I think you’re safe, Jupiter. That’s not a word that passes my lips. Let’s go with ‘content’. If Mercury was here, I’m sure he would do a better job finding le mot juste.
Mars: Come on, you ancient fuck! Mercury is bad enough!
Sun: Mars, come now...
Saturn: [to Mars] Young man, you can disparage...wait just one moment, Mars. [to everyone] Mercury has been teaching me some language to better communicate with my colleagues for quite some time now.
Venus: Oh, Saturn, that’s incredibly harmonious of you!
Saturn: Well, it’s mainly to reinforce the idea that even “old dogs” can learn new tricks. So let me try this. [Clears throat]
[To Mars] DUDE GET OFF MY JOCK!
Mars: I GET IT, YOU OLD BASTARD! [laughing]
Saturn: It seems my lessons are paying off. Excellent.
Venus: [mouth dropping open] I’m...pleased that you’re learning to get along better with everyone, Saturn. [To Mars] Perhaps you could do the same, Mars? Since all you do is “win win win no matter what?”
Mars: [pauses] Ummmmm, yeah, Venus...about that...
Saturn: [to Sun] Sorry to have derailed you, sir. Let’s get back to our agenda.
Sun: Thank you! So you’ve had time to think about our yearly solstice party. What ideas do you have? And keep in mind the front office will be paying for most of it; our swearing fundraiser was exceptionally successful.
Uranus: We’ve gotta shake things up, sir. How about one of those indoor skydiving places?
Mars: Dude, I’m so down!
Sun: I’m sorry, gentlemen, but one of the few stipulations for funding the event is that it does NOT require a waiver.
Mars: Fuck me. So there goes paintball and most of the fun shit. Another party that will be BOOOOOOOOORRRRRING!
Pluto: Good try, no-nads.
Mars: How about an all you can eat shrimp buffet? Oh wait, that would be like cannibalism for you, Pluto!
Venus: [kicks Mars] How about we consider other options that all of us might enjoy?
Moon: I’m a fan of what we have been doing, but as long as we’re all in the same place, I’ll be happy with whatever.
Neptune: I kind of agree with Lady Moon. I want something inspiring, though.
Jupiter: I don’t know that I’ve been to an inspiring holiday party before, but I think it’s something to shoot for.
Sun: I had an idea. Maybe we could get a private room at one of those Brazilian steakhouses? The food is good and we can just relax and not worry about the cleanup or someone having to clean their homes to accommodate all of us.
Moon: I like that suggestion, sir. Do you think they can accommodate all of us?
Sun: Well there are only 10 of us, Lady Moon. They absolutely should be able to handle 10.
Moon: We should probably make sure we have a little more room, in case we need the extra space.
Sun: [looks confused and then brightens] Ah yes, that’s true. You never know what we might need extra room for.
Venus: Absolutely! Dancing maybe?
Sun: You never know! Mars, they will bring you non-stop meat on skewers!
Mars: America fuck yeah! I’m IN!
Moon: Does anyone have an objection?
[shaking heads around the table]
Sun: Well, it sounds like we have a winner. [to Lady Moon] Please make the reservations. [winks]
Moon: Yes, sir. I’ll take care of it immediately. Shall I see if the solstice itself is available?
Venus: That would be lovely, sir.
Saturn: Yes, sir. I agree. We can put Saturn back in Saturnalia where it belongs!
Sun: Saturn’s comments notwithstanding, done and done.
Neptune: And they have a bar, so...
Pluto: That’s where I’ll be.
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