Letters from Saturn: John Slacking Again

Dear Neptune,

I was disappointed to learn that John will NOT fulfill his obligation to the A to Z Blog hop in April this year. His complaints of a "hellish month" are just a sad excuse to go do something more fun. Sure, he has to get his house in order from the move, but how long will that take? I mean, how many books can one person own? He should also be making sure that the the one on Saturn is close at hand, even if it is called "A New Look at an Old Devil". 

What I don't get is how you can justify going on vacation as you shirk your responsibilities to your readers. I'm sure you knew he was going away for a few days. And he's going to Disney World, so there is no chance in the universe that John will get anything productive done. And to even go there is to risk financial ruin. Is blowing off steam really worth that much?

John's done a lot of things to irk me, but honestly, if he's going to write a blog, then it should be done on a schedule. But my advice has gone unheeded to this point. So I hope he at least apologizes to the good people who take the time to read his blog. 

Before I go, let me say that I'm a little angry at you as well. You know what it takes to make me angry, Great Deceiver. Our last conversation didn't end well. With that said, I was prepared to offer my apologies until I found out that you had 1) told Pluto that I was going to contact him about John; and 2) pilfered the lovely bottle of alcohol I had procured for your visit. 

Now I'm stuck talking to Pluto because you told him I would, which was a baldfaced lie. While I can't do anything about that, I did keep the receipt for the alcohol. Since you decided to just steal it--and don't try to call what you did "liberating" it, either--you can pay me the balance, which is $53.75. You can PayPal it to fiscalresponsibility@fathertime.com at your earliest possible convenience. 

I will end this communique before I consider using some of the colorful language that is so common in your lexicon. 

Sincerely,

Saturn

K is for Kapaun

Hi everyone! Today's blog is about a man whose incredible spiritual leadership helped many soldiers survive in a very difficult situation. 

Anonymous photo of Fr. Kapaun

(Anonymous/Associated Press)

Try to imagine yourself in this scenario: You're taken prisoner by enemy forces and forced to walk 80 miles to a prison camp at the beginning of winter. You don't have cold-weather gear and when you get to your final destination, you're fed barely enough food to survive. You watch helplessly as your fellow soldiers die around you each day. I think anyone will agree that's a horrific situation.

Now imagine the same scenario, only this time, you're the chaplain of your fellow prisoners. In a life-or-death situation like this one was, it would have been very easy for the chaplain to worry about keeping himself alive and letting the rest fend for themselves.

Fr. Emil Kapaun, a Catholic priest from Kansas, was a chaplain in the Korean War in late 1950 and found himself in this very situation. But instead of trying to keep himself alive, he rose above the conditions and continued to support his troops. He traded his watch for a blanket and cut it into socks for the soldiers. He gave away his food, and stole food to keep his fellow prisoners alive. He could have escaped with the able-bodied soldiers before he was captured, but chose to stay with the wounded. He never returned from the POW camp, but his actions and leadership helped keep many alive.

Yesterday, he was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for his heroism. I encourage you to read the entire story from the Washington Post. It's truly amazing. I've also included the link to the book written about him; I plan to buy it myself.

These days it's way too easy to villify spiritual leaders of every faith. With all of the negative things you can find about them to look at on the Internet, I feel like Fr. Kapaun deserves a moment of your precious time. He's the kind of spiritual leader that all of us should expect, and those of us who are spiritual leaders can learn a lot from his example of sacrifice and selfless service. I truly hope the Catholic church decides to make him a saint one day.

Thanks for tuning in! Come back tomorrow for my "L" post!

Venus vs. Mars: Celebrating the "Holiday"

Venus: Mars! So nice to see you! Come in and sit down!

Mars: [looking around] Your home is as gorgeous as ever, Venus. I don’t want to sit anyplace because I’m afraid of messing something up.

V: Not to worry!  [pulls out a beanbag chair] Here you go! I'd rather you not sit on the floral pillows again this year.

M: Thanks! [flops down] So here we go again, right?

V: Yes. Happy Valentine's Day! Another year of this glorious holiday that celebrates me!

M: Hallmark holiday, you mean.

V: Excuse me…what did you say?

M: You heard me, Venus. Every year we get together on “your” holiday. It’s just a day to cater to the whims of females whose male significant others don’t do anything romantic the rest of the year…and of course, to benefit florists, restaurants, jewelry stores, hotels, lingerie stores, credit card companies…

V: Oh, come now, Mars. That’s not really fair. Can’t we take one day a year to celebrate love between couples? And I think you’re giving preference to male-female couples. Same-sex relationships deserve the holiday as well. Love is love, and it’s perfect. Besides, what are people going to do? Dedicate a whole day to you?  

M: Sure! Since most of the names for my holiday would likely embarrass you, we can call it “National Copulation Day”. How does that sound?

V: It doesn’t really matter since it’s pure fantasy. I mean, the very idea of a holiday dedicated to you is…[chuckles].

M: Go on, Venus. It is…what?

V: Well, I’m not deliberately trying to offend, but the whole idea is sort of…silly.

M: [frowns angrily] I’m silly to you?

V: No, you aren’t at all, Mars. But the very notion of celebrating what you stand for? I just couldn’t see it.

M: Whatever you called it would be better than “I’d better buy some flowers and chocolates or I’ll never get my dong stroked again!” day. Hail to the vee, my ass!

V: [rolls eyes] Ugh. You’re as charming as ever, Mars.

M:  That’s the honest truth, Venus. And you know what else? Your “holiday” also celebrates me. Bet you didn’t know that.

V: I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.

M: Let me lay it out for you, mighty Aphrodite. Your “holiday” brings out feelings of anger and aggression in a lot of people. There are folks whose love lives are not going the way they want them to, and what do you do? You fill every commercial establishment with red, white, and pink bullshit that angry people have to stare at for six fucking weeks after New Years’. Do you know what month has the most divorces? January! Just before your beloved holiday. And what about people who have lost their special someone in the last year? They’re alone!  So there will be a hell of a lot of people by themselves, getting pissed off and likely sitting down for a few drinks, on your day! And they're riding with me.

V: I didn't even...think about them.

M: Didn't think you had. So what do you have to say to those people, huh?

V: Honestly, Mars, I don’t know.  I’d probably start with “I’m sorry."

M: Yeah, well...with your apologies these folks will still have to pay $5 for an overpriced cup of coffee.
 
V: I know. But riding your bitter train is going to somehow make them feel better?

M: For a while, yeah. People are resilient, but they need me to help them bounce back.

V: Perhaps you’re right.

M: Really?

V: No, of course not. I’m just saying it to be kind.

M: That sucks! But at least you’re being honest.

V: Indeed. Now come into the kitchen so we can eat lunch.  

M: What did you prepare for us this time? Canapés? Finger sandwiches? Something delicate and light, no doubt. With a demiglaze of loooooooooooooooooooooooooooove?

V: Everything from my kitchen is prepared with love and tenderness. I’ve prepared a gorgeous fresh, green salad for myself. But I’ve made something extra special for you this year!

M: [groans] OK, let’s get this over with. What is it?

V:  60 of Jupiter’s famous suicide buffalo wings and bleu cheese dressing, and “Martial Margaritas” made with Neptune’s favorite tequila.  I’ve even added red food coloring in your honor.

M: You did all that…for me?

V: Yes. Because even with all your faults, I love you.  And this is a day for something special.

M: Suicide wings are my favorite! And when there’s a holiday dedicated to me, then maybe I’ll have you over to my place.

V: Your place? Ummm…while I loathe to decline such a tempting offer, I don’t wish to experience the “Man Cave”. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. And I don’t have a pair of shoes I'm willing to sacrifice, either.

M: MEEEEEEEEEYOW. That was a bitchy thing to say.

V: [smiles] You said you like honesty. 

M: Aw, fuck it. Let’s eat.

Virginia Education Loophole Tied to Religious Freedom

Think it's a requirement for all children to attend school? Apparently not in the Commonwealth of Virginia. 

I just read an interesting article in the Washington Post about families that can keep their children out of school through a law designed to keep the Commonwealth from interfering in the religious preferences of its citizens. According to the article, the principle is that the family ultimately should not be required to send a child to a public school if it violates the tenets of the family's religion.

Home-schooling is not new, folks, and that's not what I'm talking about. Students who are home-schooled must meet the Commonwealth's requirements and reporting structures.

I'm specifically referring to students whose parents choose to not have their children attend Virginia Public Schools by receiving a religious exemption from school altogether. There are no requirements for these families to prove that there is some form of education going on at home, religious or otherwise. Applicants for the exemption do not need to cite a particular faith, but their objections cannot be "political or philosophical in nature." In other words, it can't be because you hate the [INSERT POLITICAL PARTY HERE]. 

But the article states that more and more people are asking for and receiving this exemption for their children. Once the exemption is granted, the Commonwealth has no legal obligation to education the child in the future. 

I'm all for spiritual freedom. I know many students who have been home-schooled for various reasons--some religious and some secular--and have no problem with the practice. What I do have a problem with is what happens to this child if they receive no education whatsoever, since the onus is on the parents. Imagine an 18-year-old who can barely read and write, and who lacks interpersonal skills. Granted, some of you might say, "That's what many high school graduates are like!", but at least teachers that the opportunity to provide an educational foundation to these children. 

I strongly believe that even students who are home-schooled for religious reasons should be required to report into the Commonwealth of what kind of education is occurring for this child. To me, this also has the potential to foster religious extremism in children, and I don't care what religion we're talking about. Zealotry is intolerable in any case.

I would never presume that I know what's best for another's child; it's a very personal decision on the part of the parents. But going this route sets a dangerous precedent, in my humble opinion, to have no accountability whatsoever that this child is ready, from an educational perspective, to join the workforce or attend college at 18. 

The Myth of Thanksgiving

OK, so if you're a fan of Thanksgiving, you may want to stop reading now. Just sayin'.

I can't stand the holiday. Normally I can keep my dislike of this truly "Hallmark holiday" to myself, but after people started getting all up in arms that retailers expect employees come in on Thanksgiving to prepare for overnight Black Friday sales, I decided I had to say something.

FACT #1: Some people have always had to work on Thanksgiving. How many firefighters, police officers, airport and airline employees, transit workers, restaurant and hotel employees, government employees, football coaches, and members of the US military do you know? People don't stop having medical problems, eating, traveling, or fighting wars because it's the last Thursday in November, folks. So it's likely that in those industries and many more, these people have missed their share of turkey dinners with their families. Remember that when you sit down to yours.

I once read a piece called "The Power of Thanksgiving" that I had to translate into French in grad school, and while the words were fairly easy to interpret, one big hurdle is that the French don't understand the significance it has in many Americans' lives. It really made me consider what the day means to me.

For some time now, I've been trying to get my head around why this day is so much more important than others for many Americans. It's become somehow sacred. Our two busiest travel days surround this day. There's no mass rush to be home for Halloween, for example. If you cut away the hype, Thanksgiving is one day and a meal. And yet people travel very long distances to be with their loved ones--and we'll get to that in a moment--for this one day, this one meal.

I've come to the conclusion that Americans are searching for something in this one day: They're looking for nostalgia. They use the day to remember the past, when our families weren't divided by distance, divorce, or dysfunction. Everyone tries for that one day to put aside their differences and sit down like nothing ever happened. My response to that is "Yeah, right. How's that working out for you?"

I hear the stories each year of people making the valiant--in some cases, herculean--effort to use planes, trains and automobiles to find the past. And for many of them, it's a true hassle. I'm not just talking about the travel part, either. What I don't understand is why people feel the need to force themselves to make this annual journey of self-flagellation. For many, the answer is that they feel they have to, that there is no choice. The idea of "obligation" for this day is a ridiculous concept. If you're afraid of making people unhappy, I understand...but whose happiness is more important? That's a decision only you can make for yourself. I am enthralled to hear the stories of the sacrifices people make to be with loved ones on this day and then come back home bitching about how badly it sucked. Put that much pressure on any event or person and it's bound to not live up to your high expectations.

With the economy the way it is, people are lucky to have jobs, and employers are going to want every opportunity to make money. I expect more and more people will be working on Thanksgiving over time. At least it puts (more) money in the employee's pockets. 

FACT #2: You are not OBLIGATED to do anything. If you really dislike spending the day with [INSERT NAMES HERE], then make other arrangements. It really is that simple. You DO have a choice.

Another reason people celebrate Thanksgiving is to show appreciation for the all the blessings in their lives. I am very much in favor of counting one's blessings. I try to do it every single day. And that's my problem with selecting one random day to give thanks for what we have. Shouldn't we do that regularly...like MORE than once a year? I have the same problem with Valentine's Day. Shouldn't your significant other know how your feel about them every single day? What it comes down to is people making the effort once a year, or feeling like they are only OBLIGATED--there's that word again!--to make the effort once a year. Personally, February is not a time of year I would have picked to tell my beloved how much I care for her. She's not a fan of cold weather. And our veterans? I think they deserve a LOT more than one day...personally I'd make it a whole week in June, the same week as Flag Day, or perhaps move Flag Day and make the entire week after Memorial Day about our men and women in uniform.

While November is not a bad time for Thanksgiving--post-harvest and all--you should appreciate all of life's blessings all the time. Yes, sometimes we lose sight of that in the day-to-day rat races that many of our lives have become, but come on...food pantries, humanitarian organizations, and blood banks need help year-round. And with American obesity and its associated conditions--hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease--on the rise, we have shown that we don't gorge ourselves only once a year. In reality, it's the beginning of a six-week food extravaganza, which ends when we resolve to lose the pounds and go back to the gym in January. Then we pull a muscle or two and that is the end of that.

Please understand that I'm not against people celebrating the holiday. Giving thanks and spending time with family and friends is important. But many Americans love the myth of Thanksgiving. Celebrate it, but keep it in perspective. It won't bring back the past, and no, you don't have to go if you don't want to. REALLY. It's one meal and one day to do whatever you want.

I hope you enjoy the day, and whatever you choose to make of it, I hope it is YOUR choice and not borne of some misguided sense of obligation. No matter what the calendar says, count your blessings.