Opportunities to Excel in 2020: Three Ideas to Ponder

Greetings good people! Another end of the year is upon us.

I don't know about you, but I'm glad to see 2019 leave. It's been a challenging year for me in many ways. But it's too easy to say "Good riddance!" and stop there. 

Honestly, 2020 will give us what we need: Opportunities to excel. So how can you exceed your expectations in 2020? Here are three ideas for your consideration. 

1) Lead from where you stand

Most people hear this and think, "That sounds like it's for work." You're not wrong; the idea of being a leader in what you do no matter what your title may dictate is not new in the realm of employment. But it's greater than that. It's a reminder that you need to lead your own life. 

Blaming others is the easy way out, and so is playing the victim or procrastinating. We all live with our own choices, folks, and we have all had to deal with unexpected conditions that crop up and seem to mess everything up. 

Life is full of difficult situations, dilemmas and decisions. In 2020, decide to own it all: your decisions, your opinions, your thoughts, and most importantly, your actions or the lack thereof. If you've been putting things off out of fear, face them head on.

For me, there will be a greater focus on leadership and on helping others to lead from where they stand. I've taught some amazing students over the past year and I hope to have more of them in the year to come. Helping others helps you and is an investment in your future, and when you light another candle, you are a leader. 

I'll leave you with this important fact from a dear friend: When you are helping someone, you are supporting them until they can get to a place where they can help themselves. Do that wherever you can and you show leadership. 

2) Embrace hope

Many of us have experienced hardship in the past year: Divorce, financial difficulties, aging parents, medical problems that require lifestyle changes, and the loss of people or companion animals are just a few of them. 

What's more is that this world is screwed up in many ways, and we receive constant reminders. We hear about things that have gone wrong constantly. Our current political climate only seems to make things worse as it features so much in our headlines. It seems like an escape from it is more necessary now than ever. 

So how do you handle all this without becoming overwhelmed? Embrace hope. Believe that the world can be a better place. Accept that you have control only over your very small corner of the world, but by improving your own little portion, you have a positive impact. Even an optimistic attitude can help. 

Some days it's very challenging to look through what many might call rose-colored glasses. But I see the good in people every day, and it's a practice from which we can all benefit, I suspect. 

And believe me, the world is a much better place with you in it. Please reach out for help if you feel that you've lost all hope. As I recently said to a friend, I've done too many hospital visits in the past year, and I don't want to write your eulogy.

3) Learn to speak in public in spite of fear

73% of Americans are afraid of speaking in public. No, I'm not joking...this is the #1 fear of so many adults. The statistics I saw say that both death and loneliness are in the top ten fears, but presenting to others tops them all.

I've been teaching public speaking for a number of years so when I say I get it, I really do. No one wants to mess up, and no one wants to make an idiot out of themselves in front of their friends, colleagues, and bosses.

I used to fear speaking in public and also performing in public as a musician. Hell, I used to fear talking on the telephone! But after a less than stellar musical performance where nerves got the better of me, I decided this fear was not going to hold me back. 

So I put myself into positions deliberately where I would have to speak and it has paid off. It's given me more confidence in front of groups and in one-on-one conversations like job interviews, and I found to my incredible surprise that I really enjoy it, too. The nervous energy is there but I've learned to harness it and make it work for me. 

My challenge for you this year is to give it a try. Start small: Present an idea at a meeting at work. Speak at your house of worship or a local community group. Share your ideas with others at a conference. Hustle up to the microphone at your town meeting. It doesn't have to last a long time, but it's important to face that fear. 

Chances are you won't "enjoy" public speaking. But it can help you a lot if you're willing to give it a shot.

If you find yourself wanting to learn to present, I'm taking new mentees this year and would love to hear from you. Recently I helped a young lady prepare for job interviews, and I enjoyed the experience so much that I'd love to do more of that work, no matter what your public speaking goal may be. 

No matter what you do with 2020, I hope you will choose to lead from where you stand, embrace hope, and get out there and speak your truth. I look forward to witnessing your progress. 

Welcoming The Solstice...and a New Teammate!

The Centaur Chiron Instructing Achilles by Louis Jean

[at a local Brazilian steakhouse]

Sun: Welcome, everyone! I’m so glad you could join us for this Solstice celebration! And it’s a great day for me as I have the least amount of work to do. 

[dutiful laughter around the table]

Mars: Dude, where’s the meat? You promised!

Venus: [to Mars] Umm, manners?

Mars: Fine! [to the Sun] Sir, my bad, but I’m fuckin’ starving!

Sun: [chuckles] It’s OK, Mars. I’m hungry, too. [pause] I just wanted to take a moment to recognize all of your hard work this year. Thank you very much. 

Moon: Agreed. The meal tonight comes from this year’s swearing fund, with the vast majority coming from our potty-mouthed leader. 

Sun: [shocked] LUNA! Really?

[genuine laughter from everyone]

Moon: Yes, sir. Really. [to all] So please eat your fill and enjoy!

Jupiter: And the drinks are on you, right, Nep?

Neptune: Well, I was hoping someone else would pay, but I wouldn't say no to an adult beverage or seven.

Jupiter: [laughs] What else is new?

Sun: That’s an excellent question, Jupiter. Speaking of new things, I have one other important announcement to make. 

Mercury: Sir, does it have anything to do with the empty chair over here?

Sun: Very astute of you, Mercury, as usual. Indeed it does. I’ve asked a special guest to join us tonight. 

[Chiron walks through the door and sits down]

Sun: Everyone, this is Chiron. We’ve been hearing about him for the past few years and I've asked him to join our team. 

Moon: Please be sure to give him a warm welcome!

Sun: He’s been getting a lot more play in the astrological world even though he’s fairly new to it. I don’t want to steal his thunder, though. [gestures to Chiron] Would you like to say a few words?

Chiron: Thank you, sir. [pause] I’m grateful for your invitation to this amazing event and appreciate you welcoming me to your celebration. I’m hoping to contribute an outsider’s perspective on the team and make even more efficient and effective. 

[heads nodding in approval]

Saturn: Sir, I welcome our new teammate with all sincerity, but I’m surprised that we weren’t consulted, at least as a courtesy. 

Sun: I understand, Saturn, and I take full responsibility for this leadership decision.

Jupiter: Come on, Old Man! Expansion can be a good thing!

Saturn: That remains to be seen, and I’m skeptical by nature. 

Venus: I’m very pleased to meet you, Chiron, and look forward to getting to know you!

[Chiron nods]

Sun: You will have plenty to talk about over dinner, I’m sure. [looks up at the doorway] And I see the unending parade of meat I promised will now begin!

Mars: FUCK YEAH! Time for the MEAT SWEATS!

Pluto: Oh fuck me. [to Neptune] Which way is the bar?

Neptune: Out in the main area near the salad bar, I think. 

Pluto: Good. Let’s get to it. [aloud over the ambient noise in the room] Sir, are we on our own at the bar tonight?

Sun: Sadly, yes, Pluto. 

Pluto: [to Neptune] Fuck. We’ll have to go to plan B. 

Neptune: What is plan B?

Pluto: This is. [opens his hand and shows Saturn’s American Express card]

Neptune: [mouth agape] Dude, I don’t know how you did that, and I didn't think anyone actually uses American Express anymore. 

Pluto: Why? Do you care? Because I don't. 

Neptune: Well, sort of...it seems kind of selfish to make Saturn pay…maybe we can pay him back when we get our yearly bonuses or something?

Pluto: [hesitates] Uhhhh, sure, Nep. I’ll definitely talk to him about it when he gets his bill.

Mercury vs. Venus: Liar, Liar

Venus: Hi Mercury...did you see this blog the other day?

Mercury: Of course I did. What's the problem?

Venus: You mean other than Jupiter calling me a liar?

Mercury: Ah yes, I had briefly forgotten. My shadow period ends in two days, so I'm still a little retro-groggy. 

Venus: [gasps] Of all the things to forget...really!

Mercury: It happens, Venus. By your language I can tell you're upset. 

Venus: You're damn right I am!

Mercury: I don't see why. 

Venus: And pray tell me, King of All Information, why I shouldn't be upset. 

Mercury: Emotions are not my area, dear colleague, so I can't speak to that per se. But perhaps I could ask a question.

Venus: [exasperated] Sure. Why not?

Mercury: Did you ever consider that the information you convey to people is sometimes wholly inaccurate?

Venus: [mouth open] How dare you!

Mercury: I'm just presenting facts. You can choose to like them or not but that doesn't make them less truthful. Are you not a fan of truth?

Venus: I'm trying to make people more comfortable. Calling me a liar doesn't help anything!

Mercury: The information is what it is. Humans put the emotional spin on information, Venus.

Venus: But what Jupiter said really hurt my feelings and I'm sure it makes humans think less of me!

Mercury: Ah ha...now we're getting somewhere. So we've established that 1) your feelings were hurt and 2) you're concerned about your overall perception. 

Venus: I want people to be comfortable with me and like me. 

Mercury: Honestly, the data I have suggest you're the most liked of all the planets. 

Venus: Really? 

Mercury: No, of course not. You're in the top five for sure though. [smiles]

Venus: Mercury, why would you say that?

Mercury: How do you think Saturn felt when he found out that you misrepresented your conversation with Jupiter?

Venus: He was supposed to feel good! 

Mercury: Answer the question, please. 

Venus: [pause] He probably felt the same way I did.

Mercury: [nods] That's the conclusion I drew as well. 

Venus: Being truthful isn't my job!

Mercury: Wow. Very enlightening.  

Venus: I don't think this is fair at all!

Mercury: Fairness has nothing to do with it, Venus. So your job is to make people happy even if it's not the truth at all. That sounds like what I'm hearing. 

Venus: You're splitting hairs now. It might not be fully the truth but it's not really a lie! 

Mercury: I think we should agree to disagree, Venus. 

Venus: Oooooh! Next time I'll call Jupiter!

Mercury: A solid choice for perception management and getting your own story out there. I'd give Saturn a wide birth for a while, though.

Venus: Thanks for the tip, Captain Obvious! [storms off] 

Jupiter vs. Saturn: Shameless Marketing and the Polite Lie

Jupiter: Good people, it is time for John's annual shameless marketing post here on Small Business Saturday! I'll be one of your co-hosts for this blog, and as you can see, the enthusiasm from my co-host, Saturn, is palpable as usual!

Saturn: Quite. Before we start, I have a question for you, Jupiter. 

Jupiter: Sure, Old Man. What's shakin'?

Saturn: First of all, stop using that plebeian dialect! You sound more and more like Mars all the time. People expect something more dignified from us. 

Jupiter: [sings] You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch...

Saturn: [frowns] Second of all, Venus told me you said you looked forward to working with me on this blog every year. Is that true?

Jupiter: [mouth open] She told you that?

Saturn: Yes, she did. [pause] Are you surprised?

Jupiter:  NO! [stammers] I mean...no, no, no. Of course I expected she would tell you that. 

Saturn: I find myself unconvinced. 

Jupiter: Yeah, well...[pauses]

Saturn: You've become so reticent all of a sudden.  Your silence deafens me. 

Jupiter: [pause] I don't really know how to tell you this. 

Saturn: Tell me what, Jupiter?

Jupiter: [sheepishly] So...Venus may have...ummm...deliberately made our conversation sound a lot more positive about our annual shameless marketing interaction than it actually was. 

Saturn: [nods] I understand. Go on.

Jupiter: Venus has this ability to...maybe that's not the right way to phrase it. [thinks] Venus sometimes enhances...shit, that's not it either. Ummmm, so you know how some planets can obscure...damn it!

Saturn: [small smile] I don't think I've ever seen you like this. Other planets might even think I was...amused, even though my annoyance rises. Could you get to the point?

Jupiter: OK, Old Man. She lies, OK? Venus lies. 

Saturn: It's not polite to call out another planet in this manner. What do you mean?

Jupiter: Venus is not a fan of discomfort, Saturn. She wants to make everyone happy. As such, sometimes she tells what some would call a "polite lie" when the truth might not be welcomed.

Saturn: I see. [pauses] So you don't like working with me?

Jupiter: You see, that's not it either!

Saturn: My tolerance for ambiguity is not my strong suit, Jupiter. 

Jupiter: Old friend, I don't HATE working with you at all. You're an...acquired taste, and I say that as a compliment. Venus knows that and so she probably used the polite lie to make you feel better about yourself in the short-term.

Saturn: So, it wasn't the truth at all, but it made me more tractable, right?

Jupiter: [sadly] Yes, that's possible. 

Saturn: When I asked Venus if she wanted to do this blog with me instead of you, she told me you were looking forward to working on it with me, so she couldn't take the opportunity from you.

Jupiter: Old friend, there may have been another motive as well. 

Saturn: [pauses] She didn't want to do it, so she made it up as misdirection so that she wouldn't have to refuse my request?

Jupiter: When you break it down that way, it sounds a lot more harsh, which wasn't her intent. But you're correct. [pause] Now you see what she was trying to do.

Saturn: [seriously] Yes, I understand. [pause] Everyone thinks that Venus is all love and light, that she's a perfect planet that everyone wants to be around. I don't think people see the side of her that can be downright insidious. 

Jupiter: We all have our faults. You have to be the disciplined one. You HAVE to tell humans the reality. You are driven to make people better. Venus' role is different. 

Saturn: Yes, it is at that. 

Jupiter: Believe it or not, sometimes humans prefer the polite lie even when they know the truth. The hospitality industry is practically based on it.

Saturn: [nods] Thanks for explaining it to me, Jupiter. You are many things, but I appreciate that you were honest with me. You've helped me to see things in a very different light. [pause] I'm no longer interested in working on this today, Jupiter. I need some space to handle this...disappointment. 

Jupiter: Sure, old friend. We'll do it another day. 

Venus and Saturn Discuss Boundaries During the Holidaze

Venus: Hello everyone! So glad you could join us!

Saturn: Venus, this is a really busy time of year, so we shouldn't keep people too long. 

Venus: Of course, Saturn. That's what I planned on. And of course Mercury being back in the office is an added bonus!

Saturn: In this time of exceptional Jupiterian frivolity, Venus has a very important message for all of you.

Venus: That's right, Saturn. And that's why I asked the Sun to assign this blog to us both.

Saturn: I wondered how I drew this one. Well, no matter. I will gladly do my duty as expected.

Venus: But you didn't ask me why I asked you to be here. 

Saturn: Does it matter?

Venus: [smiling] It does, actually. You're a very important part of everyone's holiday season.

Saturn: Yes, of course I am. So many obligatory events!

Venus: Yes, that's certainly part of it. But you can also help people cope with the hustle and bustle of the season, too. 

Saturn: I'm not sure what you mean, Venus. I will certainly help if I can...

Venus: [chuckles] You dear man. One of your best attributes is your ability to establish and maintain solid boundaries. That's an essential way for people to take care of themselves. 

Saturn: I didn't think of it that way. But you're right, I suppose.

Venus: Let me ask you a question. What's the most annoying thing to you about this time of year?

Saturn: Well, that's easy. That expansive bastard--

Venus: [holds hand up] Let me stop you right there. You're better than that. I'd like you to begin that sentence again. 

Saturn: [pauses] Sorry. My esteemed colleague, perhaps?

Venus: Better! Carry on.

Saturn: As I was saying, Jupiter stirs everyone to the heights of craziness with more and more food, drink, spending and activity. What if people just want to sit in their homes and enjoy a more restrained, private celebratory attitude?

Venus: Thank you for making my point, good sir!

Saturn: [confused] Again, dear lady, I must confess that I'm in the dark. 

Venus: You are well known for your ability to set boundaries and people can use that to their advantage this holiday season by simply saying "No."

Saturn: Hmmmmm. That sounds good on paper, Venus, but people must be prepared to withstand the withering criticism I receive on a day-to-day basis with people who do not understand my function in their lives. 

Venus: I understand what you're saying, Saturn, and you're right: Some people might be upset if a person says no to their event, but in the end, every person must choose to take care of themselves. It saddens me that more people do not understand THAT fundamental concept in humans. 

Saturn: In other words, refusal to participate in a particular activity or travel to a certain destination on a given day should not be taken as a personal affront.

Venus: Correct, Saturn. And for people to keep harmony in themselves, they have the right--no, the obligation, to speak in your terms--to say no to any event or occasion that will cause them stress, financial hardship, or unpleasantness. 

Saturn: That's a very cogent argument. And may I add perhaps a corollary to your statement?

Venus: I'd be pleased if you would.

Saturn: [clears throat] I postulate that those who choose to participate in events should be cognizant of their boundaries when interacting with others, especially given the quantity of intoxicants imbibed around this time of year. 

Venus: I couldn't have said it any better, Ancient One. May I summarize?

Saturn: I'm sure our audience would appreciate that, Venus. 

Venus: The bottom line, good people, is simple: Do as little or as much as you want this holiday season. Do not feel obligated to join in if the event threatens your mental health, finances, or peaceful state of mind. If you choose to interact with others, please mind your manners and be respectful, especially with those who are out of sorts or do not agree with you. Being nasty just isn't worth it. And taking care of yourself also means being responsible with your alcohol intake.

Saturn: That's very well said, Venus. Thank you. Perhaps you'd like to do the annual shameless marketing blog with me this year? It's coming out any minute now. 

Venus: No, I couldn't possibly. Jupiter looks forward to doing that with you every year!

Saturn: [mouth open] Really? That adventurous bastard can't seem to stay on script at all and it drives me nuts. Not to mention that I find pandering for revenue distasteful in the extreme. [pauses] Did he REALLY say he enjoys working with me?

Venus: Well, good people, we've kept you for too long. Enjoy the holidaze!