Shutdown Press Conference from the Sun

[The Sun stands behind a podium, with the Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars to his left, and Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto to his right.]

Sun: Good evening, everyone. I come before you with a matter of the utmost importance. Specifically, I'd like to address the people of the United States affected by the government shutdown.

Please know that whether you are a furloughed government employee or working without pay, a contractor, a small business owner, or a private citizen impacted by this terrible event, know that you matter to me! 

To the hardworking employees of the United States Government, I know many of you will not receive checks today. This is an incredibly frustrating, demoralizing, and nerve-wracking time for you, and all of us here share your pain. 

As your chief astrological executive, I pledge that I will put every effort into helping you cope with current conditions. Right now, every astrological planet is direct--in itself a rare event!--and in a position to help you. I have asked Jupiter and Saturn, who are not present today, and I have directed them to work on this problem until the situation is resolved. Let me assure you of their seriousness and diligence.

Finally, as a gesture of goodwill, none of us will receive a paycheck until this crisis is resolved. Lady Moon, would you please...

Moon: Yes, sir. I'd be happy to. [Moves to the front of podium] Many of you are embracing me right now, as I am who you go to in times of crisis. Please accept my sympathies and wishes for a speedy resolution forward. Do not close yourself in your homes worrying if you can help it, and please make sure you are taking care of yourselves, especially by resting. Mercury...I believe you're next?

Mercury: [moves to front] Yes, ma'am. As chief information officer please keep abreast of what's going on out there. Things can happen quickly. Hopefully, this thing can end even more quickly than it began. Also, I know this can be a very nervous time for many. Deal with the facts as you have them in front of you as much as is possible. Speculation about what might happen will erode your mental health slowly but surely. Venus, I think you're up?

Venus: [Moves to front] Thanks, Merc. As the planet of money and cooperation, I can't express my disappointment deeply enough. The very idea that some people are considered "non-essential" makes me incredibly sad, because everyone is always essential! The fact that not only do you not have money to meet basic needs, or are losing money indirectly, is infuriating. This has happened because people won't compromise! Sadly, you will have to put some of what you want on the back burner for now until this thing is resolved, and for that, I cry with you.  Hold your loved ones a little tighter, please, and try not to sell anything in these hard times that you're going to regret losing later. Again, I'm so sorry. Know that you are loved and appreciated for more than just what you are able to buy and do. Mars...you're up. 

Mars: [shoves Merc out of the way and faces the Sun] Boss, we're not getting paid? When did this shit happen?

Mercury: An email sent two days ago at 3:45pm entitled, "Suspension of Salaries due to Financial Crisis", Mars. I'm guessing you didn't read it? I know you were on the TO line. 

Mars: Well now I'm REALLY fuckin' pissed! And I know you are too! But hear me out: GO DO SOMETHING. Get your ass off the couch and make something happen. Use that anger to get some shit done, especially if you're not going to work or have some more free time. And if you've got time, you've got time for sex, right? Damn right you do! Take what you can get, especially 'cause sex is free, amirite? [leers at Venus] Who's next?

Uranus: [Steps forward, carefully avoiding Mars] This whole thing has thrown a monkey wrench into your financial life and into your plans! I just was in Taurus but moved back into Aries not long ago. I should be back in Taurus in six weeks, but I hope the shutdown doesn't last that long. When it comes to your finances, think outside the box! You may have more than you know. And use social media to help deal with your feelings and to make ends meet whenever possible. Look for online deals and specials if you're in need, and share those that you find. Nep?

Neptune: [stumbles toward the podium] I know getting drunk sounds like a really good idea right now, but if you can find an escape that's a little healthier than that, you won't regret it as much later. And if you've got some extra time--GET CREATIVE! Write, draw, paint, craft, whatever. Put some of that energy into creating something beautiful. Thanks...where's Pluto?

[All look around and Pluto is nowhere to be found]

Sun: I apologize that a member of my staff seems to have...stepped away...

Mars: I smell an ass kicking! I mean what the fuck dude? Little shrimpie couldn't take the heat? TOLD YOU!

Sun: [grimaces slightly] Mars, please...I'm sure there's an explanation. [faces front]. In short, good people, please don't get down on yourselves. We're here to serve you as best we can and hope the situation gets resolved soon. If we have any news we'll send it along. 

For now, please hang in there!

All Planets Serve the Sun, Part 1

Saturn: Hello Lady Moon. Are you recovered from your most recent eclipse!

Moon: Yes, Saturn, I'm getting there. Thank you for asking. Jupiter's not with you?

Saturn: No, he isn't. I can't keep control of him...no planet can. 

Jupiter [running up to the Moon's desk]: I'm here! I think I took on a little too much...

Saturn: Imagine. 

Moon: Be nice, Old Man.

Sun: [shouting from the next room]: Are those two knuckleheads here yet?

[Saturn winces; Jupiter blushes]

Moon: [blushing slightly; raising her voice] Yes, Sol. They've just arrived. 

Sun: [shouting] Tell them to get their collective posteriors in here right now!

Jupiter: [chuckles] Our "collective posteriors", huh? Fascinating!

Moon: [holds up a jar with money in it] New year, new Sol. Every time he swears, money goes in the meeting snack fund. 

Jupiter: Nice, Lady Moon! 

Saturn: A little more civility would be great around here, Jupiter. We don't need to expand people's waistlines, though...I don't agree with that part of it. 

Moon: What you will like, Old Man, is that each time the penalty increases by a dollar. And he's already up to $5 today; to ease the pain of it I reset the counter each night. And he gets two free passes before he gets charged. 

[Saturn suppresses a smirk]

Jupiter: I didn't think you knew how to do that anymore, you old bastard!

Saturn: Jupiter! Some decorum, please.

Sun: LUNA! You want to see me really fill that thing up??

Moon: [beaming] I'd suggest you get your asses in there. 

[Jupiter and Saturn head in. The Moon shuts the door behind them]

Sun: Good afternoon, gentlemen. Nice of you to drop by, while the world is imploding!

Saturn: Sir, if you're referring to boundaries...

Sun: How astute of you, Old Man. Yes, the large boundary that is in the news these days is what concerns me. I am excremently unhappy about what's going on with the United States. 

Jupiter: Sir, did you mean "extremely"?

Sun: No, I did not. I meant what I said! Luna has ears everywhere so I have to find other words to use to vent my displeasure or I end up getting charged for it. And at this rate, I'll be bringing a fucking four-course meal for everyone to our next meeting!

Saturn: Sir, that was...

Sun: I know, Saturn. I know! 18 days of this crap as they turn one of the most powerful nations on earth into some kind of free-for-all! So let me try to civil about this. [resettles in his chair and tries to smile] I'd like to ask you both in the most reasonable, restrained manner possible what you are doing to address the current crisis. 

[Jupiter and Saturn share a frightened look]

Jupiter: Well, sir, I'm looking into different options...I've asked Saturn if maybe he could, you know, help people temper the extreme need for boundaries...no matter what they might be called...[nods at Saturn]

Saturn: And I've asked Jupiter if he could help governmental organizations think about the big picture of this situation. He's good at that. [looks at Jupiter]

Sun: [smiling] That's excellent. Really good to hear. But I what I suspect you gentlemen lack is a fundamental understanding of how serious this matter has become.

Jupiter: Sir, we really do understand.

Sun: I'm sorry, Jupiter, but no, YOU FUCKING DON'T!

[Saturn and Jupiter sit back in their chairs]

Jupiter: [whispers to Saturn] Well, there goes civility!

Sun: I have not had a moment's peace since it started!  I have Venus calling me hourly...800,000 Americans aren't getting paychecks and that is affecting spending across the globe. Mercury is warning me of travel problems that are going to arise, and Uranus specifically mentioned air travel being impacted.

Saturn: You can't really fault any society for wanting to be safe, sir. I know there are growing pains, but long-term it will be for the best. And most people can afford to be without a check for a little while...

Sun: Safety has nothing to do with it, Saturn. Humans are going to build boundaries; I get that. It's been that way since the human race began. I can't stop us vs. them, but could you help us put a leash on it?

Jupiter: That's what I've been trying to tell him, sir. Ancient bastard won't listen, that's all.

Sun: You're really not going to sit there and cast blame as the planet that rules government, right? Because that might earn you a lot more meeting snacks!

Jupiter: Honestly, sir, donuts, bagels, and coffee would be lovely. 

Sun: Let me remind you of something, Jupiter: All planets serve the Sun.

Jupiter: Philosophically, sir...I don't know that I agree...at least not all the time.

Sun: CUT THE BULLSHIT, JUPITER! You can fuck around all you want, but I want a solution and I want it yesterday. 

Jupiter: Sir, I'm not sure what you expect me to do...

Sun: You've been in ostrich pose hoping this would go away, right? That all this would blow over and you could go back to convincing people to spend more and save less? [Pause] ANSWER ME!

Jupiter: Sorta. 

Sun: Hmph. Figures! That's why you're not getting anyplace! But if I'm going to be stuck with you two jackoffs, then I will hound you until you figure something out! 

Saturn: You understand, sir, that I have to report your swearing to Lady Moon!

Sun: [turns to Saturn] You are the most stubborn bastard in the universe, so of COURSE you're going to fucking report me! Fine. She hears me anyway! But mark my words: You've seen me restrained up until now. Luna had to convince me to not rip you a new fucking asshole in a full staff meeting over this shit. So get the fuck out of here and get me a solution. You two are on the clock until you figure it out! 

Jupiter: So your place or mine, Old Man?

Saturn: Mine, at least to start. This could take a while. 

Sun: Move your asses, gentlemen. TODAY! NOW GO!

[Jupiter and Saturn get up and walk out of the office. Luna is standing by the door holding a steno notebook].

Luna: Thank you for providing catering for the next meeting, gentlemen. I counted 12. [louder] You're up to $17 for today, Sol. So far you're looking at...[writes on page]...[softly] carry the one...$125. [Louder] Buck and a quarter, sir. 

Sun: [yelling] That is FUCKING BULLSHIT, Luna! There is NO FUCKING WAY that number is right!

Luna: [turning to Jupiter and Saturn and handing them each a slip of paper] Please mark down your favorite flavors of donut and bagel from the choices listed, gentlemen. I know our next meeting will be a filling one. [beaming]

Thank You and Farewell 2018

Just a quick end of the year post to say thank you and share a few ideas.

First and most importantly, thank you to everyone who supports me, starting with my wife Jennifer and my chosen family, as well as my students, mentees, nieces, and friends. Whether you are near or far, you are never far from my heart. I would not be who I am today without your steadfast support.

Also, a sincere thank you for my tarot and astrology clients. I'm humbled and honored that you trust me with your challenges and look forward to working with you in 2019.

Finally, thanks to everyone who reads these metaphysical meanderings and who tell me they enjoy reading it. To answer your question, yes, I hope to blog more in 2019.  Consistency in this realm has never really been my specialty, as Saturn will tell you, but I do want to get him off my ass at some point. 

I feel like I've learned a ton this year. The lessons haven't always been easy but in true Saturn style, I guess I needed to learn them.

There are a few changes I'm making for myself in the coming year. I won't share them here, but I'll put my power into making them come to fruition. Nothing can match Pluto power and I plan to bring him to bear in 2019 to evolve. 

I'm looking forward to more opportunities to read cards, do astrology charts, and teach and speak publicly. I also look forward to more private lessons with my students and mentees, with a few new ones to keep life interesting! 

For the first time in 2019, I'll be taking on someone who wants to learn public speaking. I'm really looking forward to that! It's a passion of mine. 

Many of us have had a hard time this past year. If you fall into this category, I hope your next year is better.

May you get what you wish for--security, prosperity, love, good health, or anything else you desire--and then some in 2019. I hope you will do your part to make your dreams come true as well. 

I'll see you in 2019, good people. 

Farewell to Donna van Toen

Donna van Toen (1949-2018)
Astrologer, teacher, mentor, and friend

Scorpio is a sign that understands and appreciates topics that others do not, especially those that people would consider "taboo". 

Take death, for example. We understand all too well that nothing is permanent, that everything changes, and that in many ways, everything is temporary. That includes our short human lives on this planet. 

If that sounds like a morbid way to go through life, well...it is what it is. It's how we're wired. 

For this reason, many Scorpio people do well in careers that deal with death, either as doctors, researchers, forensic pathologists, detectives, embalmers, psychiatrists, counselors, ministers, doulas, and funeral home directors. 

It's easier to help others through the grieving process than it is to go through it yourself. Even when death is "expected", it still hits hard. When you think you have it all under control, something comes up and pushes on that bruise, and you realize you're not done with grief.

Donna van Toen lost her battle with cancer less than a week ago. The world has lost a wonderful person, astrologer, teacher, friend, trivia and gemstone aficionado, conference organizer, and mentor.

Nearly five years ago, a mutual friend introduced us. She told me that Donna ran an astrology conference called State of the Art (SOTA) and that she was always looking for new talent. Donna gave me a chance to speak at "Open Forum", an unpaid time slot during the conference where we "tried out" for future opportunities at SOTA. I had never spoken at a conference before. Turns out my speaking time was on my birthday in 2014.

Donna found out it was my birthday and bought me a drink in the bar to celebrate after my talk. Then she turned to me and gave me a serious look. "Where's your sun?" she asked.

At the time, I was a newbie astrologer and didn't even KNOW where my sun was, so I grabbed for my phone, looked at my chart, and answered, "1 Scorpio 37."

A smile broke clean across her face. "We're going to be best buds!" she declared over the din, and we drank together, the first of several times we would in the future. At the time I wasn't sure exactly what she was talking about, but I took her word for it. [I found out later her Venus in Pisces has a connection to my Sun.]

Donna took a chance on me that day, and it paid off for us both. I presented on tarot every year after that and met a ton of amazing astrologers and friends at SOTA. It's a conference that I've always enjoyed and looked forward to.

She was always there for me when I had a question about a chart or something else astrological. She provided advice and counsel so often and I appreciated her candor. Donna was not one to sugarcoat anything, a quality that I sincerely appreciated. 

She recommended the Midwest School of Astrology for my studies, and I recently graduated from the school, studying with Donna during her weekend seminars in Cincinnati. I remember her asking me why I had driven all the way from Virginia to see her, because, "You already know everything I'm going to teach." I just gave her a puzzled look; there's always something new that you can learn from someone with her level of expertise and experience. 

More recently, I was thrilled when she agreed to take me on as a private student. Lessons with Donna were incredibly enlightening and in some ways very challenging. You had to leave your ego at the door. No one likes to be told they're wrong, but Donna was more concerned that I learn the right way and she corrected me at every opportunity. I remember wondering after one or two of those lessons if I'd figure "this astrology shit" out. I never blamed Donna for my own ignorance, but I will say at least she was nice about it, wielding her many years of experience firmly, but gently, as I grew into the astrologer I have become.

Those sessions with her profoundly influenced my astrology practice and still do to this day. I miss my sessions with her, and I hope that SOTA will continue next year. Even if SOTA goes on, it won't be the same without her. And I have been thrilled to see so many others honoring her on social media; even though she would probably bristle at the accolades, she deserves them nonetheless. 

Goodbye, dear mentor. Know that you had a profound positive effect on me that will benefit my clients for many years to come. I promise to help others selflessly as you helped me to repay your incredible generosity and kindness.

Tara's Sagittarius New Moon Forecast!

New Moon 

December 7, 2018

This year’s new Sagittarius Moon will take place the morning of Friday December 7th, at approximately 0220 hours. New Moons represent new beginnings, renewal, youth-like energy, and hope. 

New moons occur when the Moon meets the sun in a zodiac once per lunar cycle. The relationship between the luminaries is called a conjunction, which is the most powerful of all planetary aspects. With both of our light bearers in the mutable fire sign Sagittarius, it will express its energy through thought-provoking, adventurous, humorous, and truth-seeking activities.

At the time of the new Moon, the planets are all contained within 180 degrees of each other. This is called a bowl pattern. Bowl patterns contain the expression of energy between 6 to 7 signs; which leaves 180 degrees of the chart untenanted by any planets. Bowl patterns can make people look for balance, look for what they feel they are missing, and be stubborn. With this new Moon chart, most of the planets are below the horizon, which suggests the internalization of self-expression or self-containment.

The lead planet or cutting planet of the bowl is Venus. Venus will have extra work by leading the planets through their transits in the zodiac. The ascendant of the New Moon chart is Libra, which gives Venus rulership over the lunation chart. Being both the cutting planet and the chart ruler places heavy importance on how Venus functions and exchanges energy with the other planets.

Although out of retrograde, Venus is slow moving once again into Scorpio. Venus in Scorpio is in detriment. Venus in Scorpio will bring intensity and the need for loyalty in relationships. The last few months of Venus in retrograde had the majority of us either purposefully or inadvertently dealing with finding out about loyalty, betrayal, trust and the purpose of many questionable bonding relationships in our lives. We took an accounting of what we want, need, and aspire to have. Venus back in Scorpio is when we will apply the results of our internal processing and our personal needs.

Venus also finds herself in a wide opposition to Uranus, by degree not sign. Venus and Uranus act as “rims” to the proverbial planetary bowl across the axis of the 1st and 7th houses. Each of them is responsible for containing the planetary energy within the bowl. With Uranus in fiery Aries in the 7th house opposed to Venus in Scorpio in the 1st, we can expect some intense and exciting situations to occur involving our relationships with friends and lovers. Further proof of these sudden events being of great importance and karmic in nature would be that both Venus and Uranus are at the bendings of the Moon’s nodes, with Venus associated with the north node and Uranus associated with the south. We must pay attention to the lessons that Venus in retrograde taught us in order to move forward for our own karmic best interest.



The actual lunation itself will occur in the 3rd house which will shed light on: our communication, our siblings, our cousins, our coworkers, our social environment, short trips, our desires, our education, the changes we make for ourselves, and our mental acuity. The 3rd house is also the heaviest house in the chart. Gemini / Mercury are natural rulers of the 3rd house. Gemini is a mutable air sign that likes to communicate its information outward. Mercury ruled signs are very precise in the manner they give and receive information. In this new Moon chart Sagittarius is on the cusp if the 3rd house. Sagittarius also likes sharing information; however it does so in a much more blunt and humorous way which is not always well received. With this being said we would be wise to filter what comes out of our mouths before we speak our mind this holiday season; especially with our: coworkers, siblings, cousins and anyone we share our immediate environment with.

With the lunation in Sagittarius Jupiter will also play an important part in the chart. With Jupiter in Sagittarius, Jupiter is in dignity. This means that Jupiter will be firing on all cylinders. With Jupiter in the 2nd house he may bring an opportunity for financial gains and some good luck. Also occupying the 2nd house is Mercury. Having Mercury in the 2nd house usually lends itself to a strong head for finances. However with Mercury just out of retrograde on December 6th, it’s still considered to be in its retrograde storm, we may want to think twice about something before committing our money to it.

Another important aspect to this chart is the angles of the natural cardinal houses all have cardinal signs occupying them. This will add natural power to the cardinal houses which deal with: self, home, relationships and career. We may find that we are expressing the energy differently due to the changes in sign but there will be strength there to get our feelings and ideas moving.

Lastly, there will be a Mars / Neptune conjunction in Pisces in the 5th house square the new Moon. Having Mars conjunct Neptune can add passion to our personal dreams; unfortunately, it can also drive people to sudden extremes with a negative impact. With the conjunction occurring in the 5th house desires will probably focus on: childlike activities, the things you do for fun, children, creativity, love, performance art, and celebrations or activities with small groups of people. The square with the lunation can mean that your desires may not be easily accomplished and will take some adjusting.

Mars in the 5th house he may unintentionally spoil the party by taking things too far. Be very careful that in your effort to celebrate the holidays with cheer, you don’t take things too far doing something you can never take back emotionally, verbally, physically, and financially. Choose wisely!

Until the full Moon in 2 weeks,

Brightest Blessings,

Tara