Please excuse me if I don't sound particularly happy these days with you in retrograde. Honestly, it hasn't been an easy few weeks, and you're one of the reasons for the fuckery.
Anyway, I'm going to use a Mercury-Neptune combination with tonight's entry, not that Neptune will notice since he's already drunk as a lord. It should adequately describe some of what I'm feeling toward you and your retrograde period right now.
A is for anarchy, and it's what you sow
When it's backwards in the sky that you choose to go
B is for bollocks; I've just had enough
This retrograde period's been mighty rough
C, communication...when you're out for a walk,
People can't seem to just fucking talk!
D is for dervish--when the coast seems clear
And then out of nowhere you suddenly appear!
E for electronics; our gadgets get blitzed
And everything seems to be on the fritz
F is for fizzle, that's my social life
Plans getting cancelled causes me such strife!
G is for godawful, gobbledygook, and ghastly, let's say
These words all describe writing I see these days!
H is for homework; the one saving grace
Is right now I have none, so I can save face
I is for me, the one you've been screwing,
The one whose fun you recently have ruined
J is for Jen; she's Mercury ruled
She's handling this well, but I'm getting schooled
K is for the way I wish things could be;
It's sure not the best, but it's OK by me!
L is for lame, and your retrograde is
And some books call you the technology whiz!
M is for misfortune, that's while you're on vacation,
And I can't wait until you reach your direct station
N is for network, and you're such a louse
My extender stopped helping with calls in my house!
O is for Oh no! because that's what I hear
When people find out that Merc Retro is near
P is for patient; it's what we're supposed to be
But your fuckups right now are anathema to me
Q is for queer, in the sense of bizarre,
Weird electronic things happen both near and far
R is for re-do, re-task, re-write, and re-play;
It seems like four weeks of fucking Groundhog Day!
S is for stable, and your energy's not
So at the end of my rope I will just tie a knot!
T is for technical; to save wear and tear,
I backed my shit up before you became a bear
U is for Uncle, and that's what I cry
I really don't want to give you another try
V is for victory, and there's not one for us
Until the calendar says that it's time for August
W is for wicked, you naughty boy
Why can't you stop taunting me now, huh? OY!
X marks the spot, the one that I can see...
Why did my GPS just make one dot into...THREE?
Y is the question, because is the answer
With you we're always trying to avert disaster
Z is for zenith, that point has now past,
I can't wait to see retro door hit you on the ass.
If it's any consolation, I will wax rhapsodic about your virtues when you return to direct motion in a few weeks. But until then, you're really pissing me off.
Sincerely,
John
PS: Thanks for at least keeping my physical body in good snap. The hospital SUCKED last summer and I'm not doing that again.
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