Sunday, May 13, 2012

Letters from Saturn: Blog Concerns

Dear John,

I'd like to take a moment to congratulate you on blogging for nearly a year. Considering your schedule, that's a very impressive feat. But I have a few concerns I'd like to bring to your attention.

First of all, I'm trying to figure out if there's a routine to your blog. I was trying to figure it out on my own, but I couldn't do it. As I look over the records, it appears that some weeks you have not blogged at all, but  last month, you blogged six times a week. You can bet that if I have trouble with that, other readers might as well. So how about sticking to a schedule, huh? Like every Wednesday and Saturday or something. Whatever you want. But let's try harder for consistency. 

I know that Neptune has probably not discussed this topic with you, but I felt it was important to bring it up. Neptune values creativity more than reliability and that doesn't sit well with me. What will people think if they go for a week--or more, in some cases--and feel like they haven't heard from you? I'm sorry, these people are taking the time to read what you write. Some of them may even look forward to it. By not establishing a schedule you do them a great disservice. 

Next, let's talk lexicon. I've noticed that the level of profanity in your blog has been increasing. Is it really necessary? Surely you are capable of putting a paragraph together without a curse word. I'm concerned that you may even...enjoy this plebeian language register. I can't possibly see any value in speaking in a vulgar way. Of course, it is your blog, and your decision, but you do not want to impugn the dignity of the written word so brazenly. 

I guess in some ways that might work, if all you care about is the cheap laugh and lowest common denominator writing. But I know you're more refined than that. You want this blog to end up like Regretsy with their foul language and mean-spirited mockery? I challenge you to embrace the power of your vocabulary and leave profanity and crass words in their place, whatever that place may be. 

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, your blog has no theme. Some days it's about metaphysical topics, some days it's about spiritual topics, and some days about news articles you find interesting. It's not really a tarot blog, an astrology blog, or a spiritual blog. How can you be so unfocused? People are looking for a place to hang their hat, metaphorically speaking, and I can't help but wonder if they're somewhat bewildered by the constant changing of topics. Let's not forget that Mercury is not your ruling planet; I can actually stay still for five minutes at a time!

And let me add that there are too many articles in here about you and your life, which I find distasteful and vulgar. There's no place for ego trips in good writing, and your audience is interested in information, not in you personally. 

Neptune may have inspired you to write whatever random, cheap, tawdry, base, or profane thought comes through your brain, but I hope you will allow me to inspire you to write with dignity, confidence, and respect for both yourself and your reader who have pledged a few moments of their day to you. They expect and demand it. 

While Neptune entering Pisces earlier this year may have confused your thinking, Monty Python had it right when they said, "Let's have a sketch about clean, decent human beings!" I hope that you go over your blogs of the past year and read what you've written, and take what I said in the spirit in which it is given. 

Very truly yours, 



  1. ::hands Saturn a mojito::

    Hey, I'm new to your blog, but I dig it already. Structure's great, but creative license has its place, too.

    I look forward to more madness! (On a schedule.) ;-)

    Some Dark Romantic

  2. Hi Mina,

    Thanks so much for your comment. Saturn likely has given the mojito to Neptune by now, but thanks so much for trying!

    Please come back often for more madness! :)

  3. Happy Bloggiversary, John!

    On the topic of topics: I, for one, very much enjoy the mix - and the personal material is just as fun as the other! I also thinks it helps your readers connect with you, and to identify with you.

    Here's a trick I use for my own scheduling challenges, btw... I take full advantage of the pre-scheduled post feature on Blogger. Sometimes I write several posts in one sitting, and schedule them to appear on different days. Or I'll break up a longer post into a couple parts. It frees me up for other projects, and the I'm-here-but-not-when-you-think-I-am element appeals to my love of the sneaky, too... ; )

  4. Thanks for the feedback and insights, Susan! I really appreciate it!