Sunday, May 20, 2012

Uranus Rising?

Dear John, I apologize for the unexpected interruption, but well, that's me. And let me take the opportunity before starting that my name is pronounced [URanus] and not [YOURANUS]. Sorry, but I have been fighting that battle for got worse after that bumper sticker on Lone Star's Winnebago in "Spaceballs", but I digress.

I must admit that I was extremely angry after reading Saturn's most recent letter to you. His criticisms were inaccurate at best, but I consider them offensive, self-serving tripe. The Old Man's attitude hasn't improved at all since I was discovered, either; he has a bad attitude about all the outer planets. Do something out of the ordinary or unplanned and he just can't handle it. Well, not everything runs on Father Time's schedule!

 For what it's worth, the outer planets are really happy with what we see in your blog, especially me. You do lots of unexpected posts about topics that many people wouldn't touch. Father Irish alone just had me in stitches. And your opinions are strongly stated; there's no ambiguity about where you stand. Finally, your topics are very Uranian...psychic ability and and astrology are areas I rule. So keep at it! You don't need to be on a schedule or avoid profanity to have a great blog, and that's where Saturn is totally wrong. Sure, he's your ruling planet and all, but you're so much more than that. So he can go fuck himself!

[I know you're reading this, Old Man, you stodgy, ancient, constipated, cautious bastard! Leave John alone or I will unexpectedly show up to ruin your day!]

I look forward to your next entry impatiently, whenever it arrives!



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