Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Letters from Saturn: John Slacking Again

Dear Neptune,

I was disappointed to learn that John will NOT fulfill his obligation to the A to Z Blog hop in April this year. His complaints of a "hellish month" are just a sad excuse to go do something more fun. Sure, he has to get his house in order from the move, but how long will that take? I mean, how many books can one person own? He should also be making sure that the the one on Saturn is close at hand, even if it is called "A New Look at an Old Devil". 

What I don't get is how you can justify going on vacation as you shirk your responsibilities to your readers. I'm sure you knew he was going away for a few days. And he's going to Disney World, so there is no chance in the universe that John will get anything productive done. And to even go there is to risk financial ruin. Is blowing off steam really worth that much?

John's done a lot of things to irk me, but honestly, if he's going to write a blog, then it should be done on a schedule. But my advice has gone unheeded to this point. So I hope he at least apologizes to the good people who take the time to read his blog. 

Before I go, let me say that I'm a little angry at you as well. You know what it takes to make me angry, Great Deceiver. Our last conversation didn't end well. With that said, I was prepared to offer my apologies until I found out that you had 1) told Pluto that I was going to contact him about John; and 2) pilfered the lovely bottle of alcohol I had procured for your visit. 

Now I'm stuck talking to Pluto because you told him I would, which was a baldfaced lie. While I can't do anything about that, I did keep the receipt for the alcohol. Since you decided to just steal it--and don't try to call what you did "liberating" it, either--you can pay me the balance, which is $53.75. You can PayPal it to fiscalresponsibility@fathertime.com at your earliest possible convenience. 

I will end this communique before I consider using some of the colorful language that is so common in your lexicon. 




  1. LOL! Now I'm sad you're not participating this year because that was really funny. :D

    1. That's very kind of you, Ava! Saturn has certain ideas of how I should do things and can become a real judgmental prick sometimes. :)