Saturday, October 29, 2016

In Their Own Words: Time for Tarot!

[Knocking at the door]

John: That must be Jupiter...he said he was coming over!

[Opens door]

Wheel of Fortune: Hi John! You were expecting someone else, yes?

John: Ummm...yes, I was actually. And you would be...?

Wheel of Fortune: Jupiter had a previous engagement. 

John: Let me repeat: And you would be...?

Wheel of Fortune: If you can't recognize ME by now, John, you'd better call Houston and tell them we have a very serious problem indeed!

John: I know who you are, but I don't normally have tarot cards showing up on my doorstep.

Wheel of Fortune: I suspect that it's time for that to change. And it's OK for the astrological planets to show up but not tarot cards?

John: I'm sort of used to them showing up by now, as crazy as that sounds. 

Wheel of Fortune: I'm sort of in a hurry, John. Are you going to invite me in?

John: Yeah, sure. Come on in.

[door closes]

John: So to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?

Wheel of Fortune: I have a message for you.

John: NO SHIT!

Wheel of Fortune: Don't be sarcastic! It doesn't suit you. Anyway, the tarot nominated me to come tell you that we want more time in your blog. For too long you've allowed astrology to dominate your thinking, so we believe it's time for a shift in direction.

John: The last time I checked, this was my blog and I get to decide what I write.

Wheel of Fortune: Well, you just wrote a book called In Their Own Words: The Major Arcana of the Tarot. You spent all the time writing about us and yet we don't appear regularly here? Sounds like an opportunity for change. 

John: Perhaps. But I'm not convinced.

Wheel of Fortune: And you haven't even promoted this book properly yet!

John: Now you hold on there, Mr. Destiny! I told myself that my blog would not become a constant vehicle for trying to sell the book. If that's all you've got to say...

Wheel of Fortune: You do want people to buy it, right?

John: Of course! I'd be honored for people to buy it.

Wheel of Fortune: Then let me take care of it for you.

John: [SIGH] Fine. [low voice] At least I don't have to tell YOU to "make it fast".

Wheel of Fortune: Don't mumble. It's beneath you! You told people they can buy the book at 13 Magickal Moons, right?

John: Yup. On October 29 and November 2, yes. And anytime after that when I'm in the shop. The store may also have some copies. 

Wheel of Fortune: Perfect. And what about your out of state people? People don't have time to travel to you necessarily. 

John: Well, Jen came up with a plan to handle that. 

Wheel of Fortune: This opportunity only knocks once, young man. You've got links up on the blog page for anyone who can't come in person. This is 2016, you know!

John: Yeah, I got that memo. People can go find the links here. They can buy it from Amazon, or they can buy it from Literary Cat Press directly and I will sign or personalize it for them. 

Wheel of Fortune: I've just got to tell you that it's about damn time that your book is done.

John: You're getting mildly irritating. Do you mind seeing yourself out?

Wheel of Fortune: Really? Just like that? I have another question. When's the next one coming?

John: [SIGH] [holds door open] Goodbye, sir. Or shall I start saying your name like they do on the game show?

Wheel of Fortune: PLEASE DON'T! You are a cruel man. But I'll be back. 

John: No doubt. 

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