Many of you may not understand how slow that is. Well, Lady Moon never stops moving. That bitch goes 11-15 degrees a day. She gets all the way through the signs in 28 days or so. And she doesn't have to go retrograde, either, which slows me down a lot!
At a net two degrees a year, you will never see me return to my spot on your chart in your lifetime unless medical technology gets radically better...the United States just had its Pluto return after more than 260 years!
Anyway, I take my good fucking time, but when I finally get to where I'm headed, I pack a real punch.
This year, I'll be starting off at 18 Capricorn 47, and I'll move all the way to 21 Capricorn 17 before stationing--hanging out, in astrological terms--before going retrograde. I'll head back through Capricorn starting around April 23 or so and head all the way back to 18 Capricorn 45 before turning around on October 1.
Yeah, I know...I'll start again in October from before where I even started on January 1. It feels like I can't fucking get anyplace! But before the year is over, I'll be at 18 Capricorn 59.
By the way, that second number--the "59" in 18 Capricorn 59, is "minutes". There are 60 minutes in a degree, so I'll ALMOST be at 19 Capricorn by the beginning of next year. It's pretty piss poor progress, people.
But I'm a powerful son of a bitch, so check your own astrology chart. If you've got planets between 18 and 21 Capricorn, watch the fuck out. I'm the planet of nuclear change, bitches. Just ask John! A few years back, he had constant change for nearly two full years as I went over his Ascendant. That poor bastard had to change work desks 6 times, bosses 5 times, and even changed jobs. It was rough for him.
So John told me to tell you what was up, and I did. And if you've got planets where I'll be, remember that I also rule the criminal underworld and what Al Capone once said: "You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word."
If you don't have any planets there, I'm sure some other planet will come along to ruin your life. That old fucking bastard Saturn is coming into Capricorn, too, so the fun is just beginning.
Nuke 'em all!
Pluto
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