Saturn's Mercury Retrograde Blog

Dear Readers,

I greet you on this lovely Saturn's day. 

As you are no doubt aware, you have not seen a blog from John in some time. As I understand it, he's been exceptionally lazy and on vacation for at least part of the time, though I can't possibly accept that as an excuse.

Thankfully for John, he has exceptional guest bloggers like Tara and Ren who do seem to understand the value of hard work. I'm ashamed on their behalf for our blogger's sloth of late.  

What I don't understand is how a person who feels my influence as keenly as he does isn't working constantly to better himself, but I digress.

The Sun has asked me nicely to come on and present some information about Mercury's upcoming retrograde. I find this continual focus on Mercury's thrice-yearly deviation from his natural progression to be somewhat annoying and explained this very fact to the Sun. To his credit, he listened and then told me I was the only truly responsible planet and then ordered me to do it. So here I am. 

Mercury has taken his leave of us--again--and so it is now up to you to find things to blame on him. Some of the most common occurrences during his business trips include:

• Communication problems of all kinds, both between people, between machines or networks, or both;
• Events that are scheduled, and then changed or canceled at a moment's notice;
• Technology problems of every stripe; and
• A lack of ability to see things that are painfully obvious.

John's most recent example happened several days ago when he was signed up to do a local psychic fair. The forecast was for rain changing to snow in the afternoon prior to the evening event. John followed up with the event organizers and was told the event would go on in spite of the weather. 

So John, fulfilling his duty and being a man of his word, went over, prepared to...ummm, do whatever it is a psychic does. Sounds more like Neptune nonsense, if you ask me. 

Of course, once he arrived there, an hour later he received two emails...one that said the event was occurring, and a later one that said the event was canceled. So John got in his car and headed home, wasting precious resources because Mercury couldn't perform. 

The point I'm trying to make, dear readers, is that Mercury is an unreliable planet on the best of days, but while he's out and about you need to be especially careful. To wit:

• While I'm not a technology fan since none of you can put down those hand-held computers you love so much I would suggest postponing any maintenance or upgrade on any of them at this time. 

• Also, please use caution when exercising your normally fervent consumer urges by not purchasing technology or big-ticket items, like cars or homes, during this time. 

• Finally, this is not a good time to have conversations that are of particular import. These should also be held once Mercury has not only returned to direct motion but has finished his shadow.

One final word of caution: I expect some of these conditions to persist as far as early Sun in Taurus. Consider yourself warned. 

Having successfully fulfilled my obligation to the Sun, I will now retire. I have no idea when John will actually return, but when he does, I hope you will chastise him severely for his incredible laziness and lack of purpose. 

Very truly yours,

Saturn