Moon: Sol, Saturn and Pluto are here.
Sun: Excellent, Luna. Please send them in.
[Luna leads Saturn and Pluto into the office and closes the door behind them]
Saturn: Good afternoon, sir. You sent for us?
Sun: Yes I did, Saturn. Hi Pluto!
Pluto: [nods] Boss.
Sun: Have a seat.
[Saturn and Pluto sit]
Sun: So you two recently came together for your meeting, which happens once every 37 years. How do you feel like it went?
[Saturn and Pluto glance at each other]
Sun: Saturn, maybe you could start.
Saturn: Well, astrologers make a huge deal out of this meeting and I understand why they do. Conjunctions happen every day but this one is significant. It has a lot of...import.
Sun: And did you feel like it did this year?
Saturn: Certainly. The reports I've received so far talk about life-changing events happening. And that's to be expected. When was the last time it happened, Pluto? 1982?
Pluto: [nods] Yeah.
Sun: And people are asking themselves about where they were then and what was going on, looking for parallels. You're weighty enough on your own, Old Man, but adding Pluto to the mix makes things a lot more serious.
Saturn: Correct, sir. 37 years is a lot of ground to cover. And as much as I question the function and validity of the outer planets as sign rulers, I have never doubted the power of Pluto. I've seen it often in the short time he's been with us.
Sun: Pluto, feel free to jump in anytime.
Pluto: Sure, boss.
Saturn: We're giving people a very strong message, sir: Get it together or we'll help you do that in a more...forceful manner.
Sun: And what are people required to get together, Saturn?
Saturn: Any area that is in chaos, sir. Relationship, job, family, spiritual life, health. Pick one. I'll make sure to help folks get it structured once anything unnecessary is...
[Saturn pauses]
Pluto: Come on, Old Man. You're even slower than me today. Just fucking say it.
Saturn: [frowns] Once Pluto...obliterates anything that a person no longer needs, sir.
Pluto: Now that's what I'm talking about! There is nothing as satisfying as destruction! Maybe decimating your enemies but...
Sun: I see. So...annihilation is on the menu?
Pluto: That's what you pay me the big bucks to do, boss.
Sun: [Nods] Do you see how people could be unsettled by this turn of events, gentlemen?
Saturn: I understand completely, sir. The two of us together is a potent combination.
Pluto: That's an understatement, Saturn. If Mars was here, he'd probably say something like, "You motherfuckers are the one-two punch that people need!"
Saturn: [smirks] I don't want to find that amusing, but...
Pluto: Admit it, Old Man. You do a little. I won't tell anyone. I find that dumb jock incredibly funny when he's not an insulting blunt tool. Admittedly he is an insulting tool most of the time!
Sun: We're getting off topic, gentlemen. [Pause] Did you both feel like you did what you were supposed to do as you came together?
[Saturn and Pluto look at each other]
Saturn: Yes, sir.
Pluto: Sure, boss.
Sun: Good. I'm glad to hear it. It's good for us to debrief when these significant interactions occur. I also like to ask if there's anything else that I could have done to make your work easier.
Saturn: No, sir.
Pluto: I don't suppose you can stop people from freaking out about change?
Sun: Unfortunately, Pluto, that is not in my power. Human beings generally avoid change so all we can do is nudge them along that path.
Pluto: Until I come along and rock their fucking world, you mean.
Saturn: Some things never change, Pluto. And you wouldn't be doing your work otherwise. It's job security.
Sun: For what it's worth, I agree with you, Saturn.
Pluto: What the fuck ever. Are we done, sir?
Sun: Sure, Pluto. See you at the next meeting.
[Pluto nods, gets up and leaves the room]
Saturn: You know...anything said in here stays in here, sir, right?
Sun: Of course.
Saturn: That little destroyer may be starting to grow on me a little.
Sun: You two are more alike than you think, but I know how you are and it takes a while for you to come around.
[buzz on intercom]
Sun: Yes, Luna?
Moon: Mercury is here with January's reports, sir.
Sun: Anything else, Old Man?
Saturn: [gets up] Business is business, sir.
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