2022: Only For Now

50th Birthday in New Orleans!

One of my favorite musicals is Avenue Q. Over these past 18 months, there is one song in particular that goes through my head over and over, and it’s called “For Now.” If you’re not familiar with the show, I’ve included a link to a special version they made in 2020. 

Now to be fair, we all hoped that this whole COVID thing would blow over quickly, that we’d be back to our normal lives by like July of last year. Spoiler alert if you’ve been out of the loop: That didn’t happen, not at all. In some ways, the pandemic is worse, and we do what we have to, “for now.” 

With that said, hopefully 2022 will be better for all of us. And I would be remiss if I did not thank all of you for helping me stay on an even keel in the past nearly two years. I’m an incredibly blessed person and I could not have made it through without you. 

I started off this past year away from home for three months for work. It was an amazing experience. I had the opportunity to meet some fantastic people, and as an outsider, they could have made the whole thing a lot more difficult. Yet they embraced me as one of their own and together we made shit happen. I missed home, but by the end, those people were home to me, and I hated leaving. I’m incredibly grateful to them for allowing a stranger to lead them and supporting my efforts the way they did. 

In my metaphysical life, I have the opportunity to work one on one with a number of talented students and mentees. This year, a few of them finished their time with me and practice on their own. I’m honored to have worked with them and cherish the time we had; hopefully they won’t be strangers, because as I have learned, if you are a mentor who takes the job seriously, your former students always come back into your life. Congratulations and best wishes to you as you move forward! 

My clients mean the world to me. I’m honored you trust me with your questions and concerns, and thank you sincerely for your continued trust and confidence. While I see many of you via Zoom, I’m grateful for all of the new clients I have met working at my second home, Sticks and Stones. 

Speaking of Sticks and Stones, I’ll continue my beginner astrology class series in the new year on January 2 with my first of two classes on Venus. Please feel free to drop in for a class anytime…no need to wait until I start again! And who knows what other classes I might be teaching there this year? Stay tuned and find out! 

Travel? Well, if you know me you have figured out I can’t stay still for long. While I don’t have anything on the books this year, you never know where I might end up. Even in these pandemic times and the weirdness that surrounded the entire experience, I still got around: Philadelphia, New Orleans, and even New York City. 

And more blogs? Yes, more are planned. I’ve got a few new tarot decks here that are begging for a review: The Philly Tarot—one of the suits is “cheesesteaks”—and the Disney Villains Tarot, to name only two. 

Another book? Yes, a serial killer astrology book is in the works, good people. More to come, but at the moment, “That’s all I have to say about that.” 

Also, I have not forgotten I owe you the continuation of the astrology interview series. As you can imagine, Saturn is particularly insistent, since he is next on my list. Over this past year or so I’m not really sure if he wants me to write to set some boundaries for me or so I can publish his interview. I’m not sure which it is, and I’m not sure it matters. 

Finally, I will thank those closest to me: My wife, family and friends. It’s fair to say that I have been challenged in a much greater way than I expected, and I’m truly grateful they were there for me. There are too many of you to list individually; however, simply put, if I reached out to you and you answered, THANK YOU. 

I’m a Saturn guy, and unfortunately, disappointments have a tendency to hit me hard; like many other people, there have been more than a few in my world over the past 18 months. But I’m hopeful 2022 will bring more success, joy, health, and prosperity to you and yours.

As the song says, “Everything in life is only for now.” Blessings to you and yours as you navigate the “now” and the year to come.

Interview with Jupiter, Part 8

John: Thanks so much for all your time educating us, Jupiter. I know my readers appreciate it! 

Jupiter: You’re welcome! I’m always prepared to hold forth on pretty much any topic. 

John: I sort of figured that one, Jupiter. [consults iPad] So there are some people who consider you the “Good Time Charlie” of the astrological planets. 

Jupiter: Sure, a lot of people see me that way! People look forward to seeing me. I tend to bring lots of luck and personal freedom. Every 12 years I come around and help people to expand and move forward. Those 12 years intervals tend to bring good fortune! 

John: Yes, that’s absolutely true. We know that every 12 years, you return to the place in our charts where you were at our birth. We know it as a “Jupiter return”. And I have a great personal example of that. 

Jupiter: Oh I love these stories! Do tell! 

John: And I can speak to your blessings for certain. When I had my Jupiter return near my 24th birthday, you brought my wife to me. We were married within one month of that return in my personal chart! 

Jupiter: [beams] Wow, that’s excellent! She was definitely a blessing. 

John: Best thing that ever happened to me, for certain! But it doesn’t always work out that well for everyone, in spite of your influence. 

Jupiter: [pause] I suspect it’s the return of Negative Ned… 

John: [holds a hand up] Your influence can be positive, and it would be great if that happened all the time, but maybe we can talk about how you manifested in someone’s life and it wasn’t the way you’d hoped? 

Jupiter: Well, I mean…nobody’s perfect but I’d love an example, because nothing jumps immediately to mind...

John: How about Marilyn Monroe?

Jupiter: Damn it all. You have to bring HER up? [sigh]

John: At her 3rd Jupiter return, your influence brought her a huge blessing: A starring role in a big movie. But there was something else that you didn’t intend: In addition to blessing Marilyn with this amazing opportunity, you also expanded her ego. She became a diva, and eventually, the studio fired her because she was impossible to work with. 

Jupiter: [sigh] I guess you’re right. But I give it my best. 

John: Clearly you did in Marilyn’s case. 

Jupiter: [pause] Come on…that is beneath you, John. 

John: No, it isn’t. It’s a fair and balanced assessment of your influence, Jupiter. Nothing more and nothing else. But there’s no doubt that you can have a very positive, liberating influence on us as well. 

Jupiter: I’m glad for that at least. Do I have time for one last moment to provide a takeaway for the audience? 

John: I don’t know that I could stop you, Jupiter, but you have my permission to proceed. 

Jupiter: [gets up from his chair and bows to John] Good people, I’m a lot of fun to be around. Travel the world, learn new things, study and teach, and share your opinions widely. And remember…you only live once, so who cares about the consequences? YOLO, good people…which is a shortened form of one of my favorite sayings: You only live once! And hopefully soon you will be traveling again!

Interview with Jupiter, Part 7

Jupiter: So go ahead…ask me about the other signs. Anyone who has read this series knows what will happen next!

John: Very true. So what signs cause you difficulty? 

Jupiter: Capricorn is a tough one for me, I don’t mind telling you. 

John: Well, why would you say that is? 

Jupiter: Capricorn is ruled by Saturn and it’s tremendously limiting. As you have pointed out earlier, I don’t do well with limits. Anything dealing with the Old Man is a pain in the ass. 

John: No, you’re a planet who sees every option and yet wants the freedom to take them all. 

Jupiter: Just like the Old Man. Why see limits when you can see possibilities? I’ve never really understood that. 

John: He’s next on my list of interview subjects, so I’ll have to ask him that. [writes note on iPad] What else makes Capricorn a challenging sign for you to inhabit? 

Jupiter: Capricorn is a very strategic sign and I’m definitely more of a “you only live once so why the fuck not?” kind of planet. I know I’m going to make mistakes and they’ll get me toward my eventual destination. Saturn’s influence over a sign confers a…wariness, and as such I struggle with these two competing influences. 

John: That makes sense to me. So Capricorn is your “Fall” sign, but where are you in detriment? 

Jupiter: Gemini. I mean, EW. I am NOT a fan. 

John: Because of Mercury’s influence, no doubt? 

Jupiter: Yes, absolutely. Too many details for me. I get pulled in too many different directions when I have to pay attention to that many balls in the air. Frankly, I have no idea how that brainiac keeps all that information straight in his brain, because I sure can’t. 

John: So Gemini is not a preferred sign for you. 

Jupiter: Not at all! John: What would you say about Virgo? Do you struggle there, too? 

Jupiter: Yes, I do, because in the ancient world I used to rule Pisces, and the opposite sign is Virgo. Basically, Mercury do two different jobs and when his influence enters the mix, my job tends to get harder. 

John: I understand now, and I think my readers will have a better idea of your role in the astrological planetary system. 

Jupiter: I certainly hope so! I’m a pretty important planet overall. 

John: There are only ten of you, so as far as I’m concerned, you're all pretty influential. 

Jupiter: I can get behind that idea.

Interview with Jupiter, Part 6

 

John: Well, let’s move on to another topic. Could you tell me about what signs you work best in? 

Jupiter: Absolutely. Sagittarius is my favorite sign of the zodiac! Send those arrows flight straight and sharp toward whatever truth I need to expose. You know it because you have it yourself. You live it! 

 John: Absolutely. I’m passionate about teaching, and there’s nothing that doesn’t deserve a good parody. Though I do try not to be too thoughtless…you can’t take one of those arrows back once you shoot it, right? 

Jupiter: I agree, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have sent it out in the first place. I mean, if they can’t take a joke… 

John: Remember how we were discussing the idea that everything is relative? Well, “joke” is one of those things. If you’re the target of one of the Sagittarius arrows, you might not find it so humorous. 

Jupiter: You’re going into downer territory again, man. I don’t do it to be deliberately malicious. Who do you think I am? Mars or Pluto? And I’m not responsible for the emotions. Only the arrows. I don’t tread on Lady Moon’s territory. 

John: Right, I remember. As I recall you had two signs, right? 

Jupiter: Yeah. Pisces used to be mine back in the day. They gave it over to Neptune, which definitely pissed me off when it first happened, but I came to the conclusion that it’s all about how you look at things. 

John: Very true. [consults iPad] So we already mentioned your ability to teach and learn, especially those areas that develop the higher mind. When you’re in Sagittarius those abilities are highlighted, but also you tend to be opinionated. 

 Jupiter: Fair. And other planets in Sagittarius do tend to have that “opinionation”, to quote famous astrologer Noel Tyl. 

John: So your next best sign is when you’re sitting in Cancer, right? 

Jupiter: Yes, that’s right. It’s more understated than when I’m in Sagittarius but I tend to bring the messages across a little more…smoothly. 

John: Could you explain that for me, please? 

Jupiter: Sagittarius is a sign that thrives on activity. So when I’m there I want to be talking, learning, teaching, listening and generally staying very active and engaged. By contrast, in Cancer, I can deliver messages in a more calm, understated way; there’s less running around and more background stability. Cancer also has an emotional overtone that Sagittarius lacks. No doubt, that’s the influence of Lady Moon. But make no mistake: I love the sign of Cancer, and I’m extremely comfortable and powerful there, too. 

John: In short, Cancer it takes out some of the more annoying parts of your overall influence. 

Jupiter: [scoffs] There you go again, Negative Ned! 

John: Jupiter, this blog is my truth. And you’re the one who said everyone’s is different, right? So suck it up…please. [smiles] 

Jupiter: I did tell you that I told the Sun I questioned the entire philosophy of doing these interviews, right? 

John: He agreed it was a good idea but heard your dissenting opinion regardless, one of the hallmarks of a great leader. So what I feel or don’t feel about your conversation with him is irrelevant. 

Jupiter: But if you think about it… 

John: I did not request your opinion, Jupiter. Thank you.

Interview with Jupiter, Part 5

John: [checks iPad] Would you say that spirituality and religion are foreign? Is that way you’re involved in them? 

Jupiter: No…that’s a different concept entirely. I deal with abstract concepts and the “higher mind”. 

John: Could you explain what you mean by that term, “higher mind”? 

Jupiter: Absolutely. I’m the guy who helps you grow to understand things in life that are not particularly obvious. Let’s use an example. If I ask you what an apple is, you can put an image in your head of an apple, right? 

John: [pause] Yeah, I can do that pretty simply. 

Jupiter: Now, put an image in your head of truth. 

John: Hmmmmmmmm. [thinks] That one is tougher. 

Jupiter: Right. Here’s another question. Do you think your image of truth will be the same as other people? 

John: I don’t see how it could be. 

Jupiter: Right on. My job is to help you understand those more abstract concepts. Truth means something different to you than other people. And a part of what I do involves you seeking the truth—what you believe to be the truth, at any rate. 

John: If you do that with truth, what do you with right and wrong? 

Jupiter: You’re joking, right? [laughs] We’d be here all day with those two terms. That totally depends on who you ask. 

John: So to you just about anything is relative? 

Jupiter: In a manner of speaking, yes. You remember one of the most important conversations of our times? Between Luke and Obi-Wan? 

John: Which one? 

Jupiter: Luke accused Obi-Wan of lying to him. “You said Vader betrayed and murdered my father!” And Obi-Wan had a long statement that ended with “So what I told you is true…from a certain point of view.” Greetings. I am that certain point of view! It can come in very handy! 

John: Right…we all have different perspectives. But what do you do with facts? 

Jupiter: Not my department. That’s Merc again. He’s too exact for me. What’s the point anyway? 

John: Precision does have its advantages. 

Jupiter: Honestly, the problem these days is that everyone thinks that their point of view or opinion is a fact. And even I, the King of Personal Opinion, know they are not one and the same. There are some things that are facts, but as I said, I’m not the guy to ask about it. That would be Mercury.

John: So what is your relationship to facts, if Mercury is the one who provides the information?

Jupiter: Well, if you haven't figured that out yet, I'll state it plainly: I take them and give my interpretation. 

John: Almost like someone telling you what was said in a foreign language that you don't understand?

Jupiter: Yes! Exactly like that. My interpretation of the facts can change, but the facts themselves do not!

John: So you are the guy who helps people determine the message that others were trying to convey, even it was written hundreds or thousands of years ago?

Jupiter: Whoa...that's a "gotcha" question if I ever heard it! You're not going to make me comment on any ancient texts today, right? That could get us BOTH into trouble. 

John: [hands up] No way! And no one needs to hear my personal interpretation of anything like that! But it does beg the question...

Jupiter: Come on...out with it!

John: Given what you just told us, wouldn’t that make you the zodiac’s propaganda minister? 

Jupiter: [hands on hips] COME THE FUCK ON! You REALLY went there? 

John: Dude, I like you, but you should know by now I’m not playing. 

Jupiter: Well, if you want to get technical about it, I guess I could see that. But that word makes me sound way too negative. 

John: If everything is an opinion, no one knows what’s real. And in an environment like that, people can lose their way. We can create cults of personality and we can each sit in our own little bubble, right, not caring about what is real and what isn’t? 

Jupiter: Dude, you're starting to scare me a little! I don’t know if you realize it, but people actually LIKE me. You’re not doing my image any favors, you know!

Interview with Jupiter, Part 4

John: I’d like to dive into that a little deeper. You said that once something foreign becomes normal, you lose your influence over it. 

Jupiter: Yes, absolutely. 

John: Why is that? 

Jupiter: I rule things that are foreign—cultures, people, customs, languages, et cetera—and once you are comfortable with them, that’s where my job stops. 

John: I understand the words, but I’m not sure what that means. 

Jupiter: You said earlier my job is expansion, and you’re right. People with strong Jupiter influences often are good at expansion. 

John: Yes, and I need you to stop expanding my waistline. Could you do that? 

Jupiter: Who doesn’t like a good meal? 

John: I am NOT one of those people, sadly. I like a good meal too often. 

Jupiter: Good for you! This is not a problem! 

John: Until I go to the doctor’s office, right? 

Jupiter: I avoid them like the plague. 

John: Speaking of doctors, perhaps that's not the best expression to use right now?

Jupiter: Oh shit...I guess you guys are NOT as good at avoiding the plague as one might hope!

John: [frowns] Moving on...

Jupiter: Yes, of course...doctors! They always tell people to stop doing this, stop doing that. What’s the point? I don’t think you need that kind of negativity in your life! 

John: [pause] Well, let’s agree to disagree about medical professionals, who have been working for nearly a year nonstop. But you were saying…? 

Jupiter: Ah yes. I’m good at expansion. When you are learning new principles, cultures, languages and the like, you are expanding. Once you learn them, they are no longer “new and different” because you have assimilated them. So then they just become ordinary, routine things you’ve learned. That’s where Mercury takes over; it’s no longer exciting, but ordinary. 

John: Would it be safe to say, then, that Mercury deals with local and repeated trips, and you deal with longer journeys away from home to new places? 

Jupiter: Yes! If it’s exciting and adventurous, that’s all me. Boring? That’s someone else!

John: So if I could summarize, even if a country is not your own--a "foreign" nation--it may not be in your purview after all if you're from there or have extensive experience with its people or culture. Is that fair?

Jupiter: [nods] Indeed. 

Interview with Jupiter, Part 3

John: Life is a great teacher. And you are too, apparently.

Jupiter: I am. And don’t think I haven’t done my research on you, good sir.

John: I’m pretty much an open book, so what are you referring to?

Jupiter: I am seriously strong in your chart, sir. Jupiter in Sagittarius, baby! That’s one of the reasons you’re such a fantastic teacher.

John: I would agree. But this interview isn’t about me. For now, let’s focus on the idea that when it comes to both learning and teaching, you play a large role.

Jupiter: For certain! But I’m different from Mercury, who has a piece of the puzzle, if you will, in the learning and teaching realm.

John: Now we’re getting somewhere. Tell me how you’re different.

Jupiter: Well, he gets caught up in the details! For him, they are the most important thing. Accuracy, figures, correctness, and facts. When you learn that the capital of Missouri is…[thinks] Shit! What is it? Do you happen to know?

John: Jefferson City, as I recall.

Jupiter: Good for you! It’s one of those cities in Missouri; there’s millions of ‘em! Anyway, the point is that I don’t care really about that sort of thing. I’m looking more for “How to people in the Midwest view life as a whole? What’s important to them? What are their values?”

John: In other words, you take more of a global life view, rather than a specific one?

Jupiter: That’s a great way of putting it. I want to know what’s behind what people believe. What principles guide them? How did they come to learn them? That sort of thing.

John: It almost sounds like you’re talking about morality.

Jupiter: That is a part of what I do for sure. And for many people, their idea of morality comes from their spiritual beliefs. My purview includes religion, spirituality, or whatever you want to call it.

John: And in a more secular situation we could call that philosophy, right?

Jupiter: Some people would for sure. So you can take the religious angle, or you can go the secular route. Different worldviews are good! That’s how we learn. Nothing wrong with agnostics or athiests!

John: Speaking of worldviews, let’s talk about foreign lands. I know when I lived in France, I had a completely different view of the world than I do here in the United States.

Jupiter: Absolutely! When you go someplace different, the culture—attitudes, ideas, values, and all that—affects you. And it’s the fact that it is not what you’re used to that makes it amazing. People grow overseas. I bet you did.

John: Oh yeah. I went over there thinking “I’m not going to change like everyone says I will.”

Jupiter: [laughter] And how did that work out for you?

John: [smile] You know how it worked out. It’s a different culture. People there live differently. I saw things that I never expected. I came back a very different person, but a better one.

Jupiter: Yes, they do have a different way of life. They value more of their family time than they do here. They’re not so work-focused. They take their vacations seriously. All those cultural points of difference…that’s all me. Until it becomes normal. How long did it take for you to get used to hearing French all around you?

John: About three days. Then I settled in so well that when I went back home, hearing English was stressful for a few hours before I re-acclimated.

Jupiter: Culture shock is a thing! So now when you go to France or deal with French-speaking people, you know what to expect?

John: Yes.

Jupiter: That’s where my influence ends. Once the shock wears off, once you know what to expect, it’s no longer “foreign” and the other planet takes over.

Interview with Jupiter, Part 2

John: If we return the idea of truth for a moment, Jupiter, your reputation also precedes you. 

Jupiter: I am fascinated. Do tell! 

John: My understanding is that as the planet of expansion, you tend to, well, expand things… 

Jupiter: You catch on quickly! I don’t see a point here yet, though… 

John: If I could finish the statement, please. 

Jupiter: As you said, it’s your world. 

John: Consequently, there is a distinct tendency for you to expand the truth. How do you respond to that? 

Jupiter: You’re saying that I exaggerate, that I somehow make things bigger than they should be, that I intentionally increase… 

John: I’m going to start calling you Monsieur Roget if you’re not careful. 

Jupiter: Who’s that? 

John: The guy who wrote a famous thesaurus. 

Jupiter: I love those! There can always be more ways of expressing the most glorious…[looks at John] You crossed your arms again. That can’t be good. 

John: To borrow a phrase, ‘you catch on quickly’. [pause] Would you care to answer my question? 

Jupiter: Of course! 

John: “Of course”? Is that the answer to my question or a signal that you will eventually answer it? 

Jupiter: You do NOT give up! But yes, I will absolutely answer it. 

John: Excellent. That’s what we’re all waiting for. 

Jupiter: Then you shall have it. The short answer is yes, I do have a tendency to exaggerate things. 

John: Everything or just some things? 

Jupiter: Everything. If you’re going to exaggerate, you gotta do it big. 

John: That could almost be your motto! 

Jupiter: What? “Gotta do it big!”? 

John: That’s what I’m thinking. 

Jupiter: Can’t deny it! Sounds good to me! 

John: I realize this is kind of a leading question, but here goes: Don’t you see any potential problems with making everything bigger? 

Jupiter: It’s what I do. It’s up to guys like you to figure out potential problems. But generally speaking, as I was saying earlier, people like having me around. 

John: Well, I would posit that they like the IDEA of you about half as much as the actual you. 

Jupiter: [mock frown] Wow, you went all Andy Rooney on me there. Kind of a downer, aren’t you? That’s why Saturn likes you so much! That old bastard brags on you all the time. 

John: In Jupiter-speak, that means he made a moderately favorable statement about me at one time. Correct? 

Jupiter: [hands up] You got me! [smirks] Yeah…I don’t really pay attention to amounts or numbers. I mean, it’s the overall view of life, that’s what counts. 

John: Just making sure. I’d like my readers to make sure they have an accurate picture of who you are. 

Jupiter: Well, I mean, to be fair, accuracy has its place, but I need to be free to take some poetic license! The idea that words mean exactly what they’re supposed to is so…Mercury’s department. 

John: Of course. [writes on iPad] So let’s see. Desperate need for freedom: check. Exaggeration of the truth: Check. 

Jupiter: Now wait a second! What is truth? How can you say I exaggerate if we don’t talk about what that IS? 

John: As you may recall, I was attempting to get to that topic a little earlier. 

Jupiter: [thinks for a moment] Ah yes! Of course you were! The truth is really about how I see the world, and that can change. 

John: So what you’re saying is that your “truth” evolves, based on the overall principles and situations I find myself in at a given point in my life? 

Jupiter: Will you look at that! That’s EXACTLY what I’d have said.

Interview with Jupiter, Part 1

John: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s my pleasure to… 

Jupiter: [game show announcer voice] NOW INTRODUCING THE ASTROLOGICAL PLANET THAT REQUIRES NO INTRODUCTION! THE ONE AND ONLY JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPITERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! WHOOP WHOOP!!! [pumps fist repeatedly] 

John: [glowers and crosses arms] I’ll wait. [pause] 

Jupiter: Oh, come on! You were going to introduce me the same way as everyone else? 

John: [pause and collects himself] You start off by doing an over-the-top introduction to say you don’t need an introduction?

Jupiter: [thinks] OH YEAH! I guess I did do that! 

John: You’re supposed to be the philosophical planet, right? 

Jupiter: [smiles] The rumors are true! 

John: Well, how about the philosophy of allowing the guy who writes the blog to introduce the guest? 

Jupiter: For the record, we’re more like FAMILY! I mean…this whole guest nonsense… 

John: Semantics! You’re just trying to justify overstepping your bounds, Jupiter. I’m not prepared to continue until I receive an apology. 

Jupiter: [contrite] I might have gotten a teensy bit carried away? 

John: Quite. 

Jupiter: FINE. [pause] I am very sorry, dear sir, and declare that I will… 

John: That’s more than enough, Jupiter. Thank you for that. I accept your apology. [picks up iPad] So why don’t you start by telling us about yourself? 

Jupiter: Dude, are you kidding? Everybody knows Jupiter! Why should I need to? I am the most well-liked astrological planet, to be sure, and enjoy a wonderful reputation. 

John: You do have a wonderful reputation for many people. But this interview is for people who might not know you very well, so I ask you kindly to indulge us. 

Jupiter: It’s not hard being so popular, I’ll give you that! When you’re the greater benefic and all. 

John: But let me correct your earlier statement: You are not the most-liked planet. 

Jupiter: Bullshit! No one is more enjoyed than I am. 

John: Honestly, I’d say Venus is. Do you want me to ask Mercury to poll a few people and provide some hard data. 

Jupiter: [hesitates] Well, I don’t think that’s strictly necessary, John. We all know the truth, right? 

John: It’s fascinating that you said that, Jupiter, because that’s exactly where I want to start. 

Jupiter: Oooooooooooooooooooooh! Getting serious right out of the gate? Do I get Mike Wallace, Leslie Stahl, Barbara Walters, or Howard Stern? 

John: Worse. You get me. 

Jupiter: Your reputation as a tough interviewer precedes you, John. At least that’s what I could get out of that planetary jock strap before he left on his retrograde vacation. Mostly what he kept repeating was about how you had all his favorite wing flavors, and I was confused but decided not to pursue that line of inquiry. But other than that he said, and I quote, “That dude fucking rocked my world, man!”

Beginner Astrology Starting August 1 at Sticks & Stones

‘The time has come,’ the walrus said, ‘to talk of many things: Of shoes, and ships – and sealing wax – and cabbages and kings.’ – Lewis Carroll

After long last, good people, and your many requests, Beginner Astrology is going live!

It’s been many years since I’ve offered an in-person class on astrology, much less a series. But finally, everything came together!

I’m teaching beginner astrology in person at Sticks & Stones in Fairfax, VA, on Sunday afternoons from 4:30-6:30pm. “What is Astrology, Part 1” will happen on Sunday, August 1, with other classes following approximately every two weeks. Each class is $40 and there are no pre-requisites.

I’ll list the schedule below; you’ll only see the first nine classes on the schedule at the moment, but of course, others will follow. My general plan is to offer basic classes on each planet, sign, and house eventually. As the name implies, the class is for those new to astrology, but all are welcome!

To register, please contact Sticks & Stones via phone at 703-342-2343, or email them at sticksandstonescircle@gmail.com.

I look forward to seeing many of you for what will be an excellent introduction to the study of astrology!

Sunday, August 1—What is Astrology, Part 1

Sunday, August 15—What is Astrology, Part 2

Sunday, September 19—The Astrological Sun, Part 1

Sunday, October 3—The Astrological Sun, Part 2

Sunday, October 17—The Astrological Moon, Part 1

Sunday, November 7—The Astrological Moon, Part 2

Sunday, November 21—Mercury and Retrogrades, Part 1

Sunday, December 5—Mercury and Retrogrades, Part 2

Sunday, January 2, 2021—Venus, Planet of Love and Money, Part 1

Shameless Marketing: Mercury and Jupiter Discuss Upcoming Schedule Changes

Jupiter: Hello there, excellent people! As the designated shill of the astrological planetary committee, I am here to bring you up to speed on recent happenings involving our favorite blogger. And joining me in my task today is Mercury! 

Mercury: Well, someone had to be here to make sure that there was actual information conveyed and not some exaggerated, overblown account of what is truly going on. 

Jupiter: I resemble that remark, brainiac! We can’t all be as smart and articulate as you. 

Mercury: John’s reading schedule in northern Virginia will change for the next few months. A temporary work assignment will not allow for John to read at Sticks & Stones as usual. Let me again stress the word temporary. 

Jupiter: As in the "not permanent" kind of temporary!

Mercury: [looks at Jupiter] I don't know of any other definition for that word, Jupiter. 

Jupiter: [sigh] FINE. 

Mercury: From February 1 through early May, 2021, John will continue to do readings and charts, but via Zoom only. As soon as John’s official return date to the store is determined, we’ll inform you promptly.  

Jupiter: Consider this only as a momentary disruption to his in-person services, good people! 

Mercury: Please contact John directly for any reading or chart inquiries via his email, hierophant@cox.net. 

Jupiter: And upon John’s triumphant return to duty at the region’s premier metaphysical mercantile, he will begin teaching a beginner astrology course of study! 

 Mercury: Correct. While John is designing the curriculum at present, the information we have is that it is designed for astrology beginners, and that it will be a series of courses starting with the astrological planets. We do not have an official start date, but you can generally expect them to start at some point during the summer months on Sunday afternoons at Sticks & Stones for $35 a student per class. The proposed time slot is 3:30-5:30pm, although again, that could shift. 

Jupiter: Believe me when I tell you that you do not want to miss this opportunity to learn from an experienced instructor who knows how to teach adults! And who wouldn’t want to learn more about me? 

Mercury: You may have concerns about attending an in-person class during the COVID pandemic. We hope that many of you will be vaccinated by the time the class series has its debut, but it’s fair to say that the threat of COVID-19 will not dissipate immediately, and no vaccination is 100% effective. While John will be teaching the class at Sticks & Stones and you may attend in person, you may also choose to take the class via Zoom. 

Jupiter: You only live once, good people, and who wouldn’t want to spend a great deal of time learning a 3000-year-old discipline from a born instructor who cares about long-term student information retention? You’ll feel a lot dumber than Mars if you miss out on this opportunity, and I mean have you MET him? There are boxes of rocks smarter than he is!

Mercury: I don’t recall seeing that last remark in our prepared text, Jupiter, although I did recently go retrograde... 

Jupiter: You didn’t miss it, Merc…you are just not the type to…speak off the cuff. Haven’t you ever wanted to like, you know…jazz up your language a little bit? Have some fun with it? 

Mercury: As additional information becomes available, John will transmit it via appropriate channels. I believe we have conveyed the information, and it’s time to conclude. People can reach out to John directly for additional clarification if needed. 

Jupiter: [frowns] You know how to ruin a guy’s day, don’t you, Mr. Information Junkie? You know what? WHATEVER. YOLO, good people!