Dear Neptune,
I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a very happy New Year 2012. It's always amazing when such a huge occasion is in your sign! It was time to look back when the sun entered Capricorn, but now it's time to look forward. We've only got a few more days until the sun enters Aquarius, which is also cool; I'm a secondary ruler for water-bearers as well. Nothing is as amazing as pure Capricorn, though. I love looking down at all of those goat men and women, boys and girls, having their understated, conservative birthday parties and being recognized for the wisdom they possess. You just can't beat it. I don't know how you can take the emotional ups and downs of your Fish. That would drive me insane. And isn't it appropriate that you get St. Patrick's day this year...probably one of the days when in many countries very few people are sober.
Honestly, when we had that meeting a few thousand years ago about what areas we would each be responsible for, we didn't think there would be any other planets. By the time you showed up in 1846, I think you got what the bull left at the fair, as John's mother would say. Let's see: You got drugs, alcohol, addiction, prisons, asylums, and monasteries. I will grudgingly admit that you've turned out some fantastic artists and musicians, even though most of them are still starving. Those two are good ones. And I don't deny my responsibility for part of the whole prisons thing--if I didn't punish people for violating society's laws by throwing them in jail, there wouldn't be a need for you to take it on. So I guess in some ways I owe you a thank you.
Anyway, I noticed in passing that John recognizes all of the signs on his Facebook status when they come and go. Somehow Capricorn got MISSED! I have no idea what happened. Maybe he was on the road to Florida or something, but I was a little disappointed. OK, I'll admit I was a lot disappointed. It's an important time of year for him, too, so of all the ones for him to miss, why did it have to be Capricorn? Oh well. I'll let it slide this time. Just don't tell anyone I did.
I'm trying to put my happy face on for Aquarius. It's always a difficult time of the year for me. The Uranus-ruled people used to be mine, too, before Uranus' discovery in 1781. So I'm kind of torn. They still keep me around as a co-ruler, but water-bearers drive me NUTS with their rebelliousness and unpredictability. You never know what they'll do or say. And they're not fond of boundaries and existing structures, either. Always have to be cutting edge. No respect for tradition. Old doesn't mean "bad", but they don't get it. Everything has to change, I guess...but it's so hard for me. They make me feel more like the old man of this planetary committee more than most signs. And can't we CONSIDER change for a few years before we just wake up one day and do a complete 180? Whatever.
Well, I'm off. Lots to do today. I've been riding John mercilessly to get his taxes done and finish typing the last like four pages of his tarot book's main portion. Doesn't he want to have it done by spring? I can't be too upset, though...he was just named Head High Priest of his community, and received his title officially last month. I was so thrilled when I heard! He's now "father" to this group of men and women, likely a job that will take lots of time and energy. My calm, stable energy will serve him well. And oh yeah...I'm sure the rest of the planetary energies will serve him well, too. [You know I've got to say that or the Sun will sting me.] With all these budgetary difficulties in Europe, I'll be running around like a fat guy at an all you can eat Chinese buffet. I mean, come on, people, can't you spend within your means?!?!
Yours Sincerely,
Saturn
PS: Could you ask your artists not to portray me with a scythe anymore? I'd like to go with stern and foreboding, but the whole "Angel of Death" look is passé...so Dark Ages and yersinia pestis.
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