[Rotary dial phone rings. "Wall Street Week" is on TV in the background.]
John: Hi Saturn, it's John here. You just opposed by natal Saturn position at 5 Gemini. You rule my chart. I'm the blogger. Is this a good time for you?
Saturn: [Pauses] Of course, of course! This is quite the surprise. It's really you?
John: No, it's Jupiter. Of course it's me, Old Man. How are you doing?
Saturn: I'm fine. I'm just surprised to hear from you, that's all. I wasn't sure we were speaking at the moment.
John: Well, I can't really text you on that communication device we called a phone during the Truman administration, so I figured a call would have to do.
Saturn: That's not what I meant.
John: I know what you meant, Saturn. And I definitely go through periods when I don't want to talk to you at all. This past year, I haven't wanted to most of the time. Some days I want to deny you exist.
Saturn: OK. How is that strategy that working out for you?
John: Badly, actually. But thanks for asking.
Saturn: Seems like the least I could do, even if I already knew the answer. [Pause] So while I'm more patient than most of the other planets, I'd like to know the reason for your call.
John: Well, I'm calling to let you know that I accept you.
Saturn: Excuse me?
John: I accept you in my chart and in my life. I'm not just tolerating you; I accept you. I can't change my birth chart, but I can change my life and use your influence to my advantage. I need to learn to be comfortable in the "concrete shoes" you provide me.
Saturn: I HATE that expression, but at least you know you'll be well grounded in reality. You really hate disorganized, flighty people. So do I. See? We've got a lot in common already.
John: I said I accept you, Saturn, no more and no less. That doesn't mean I like you very much. I'll have to get around to that.
Saturn: Fair enough. Frankly, I don't like YOU very much some days, especially when you demonize me. I have enough people who want to make me out to be the bad guy, and you, young man, are a champion at it.
John: We all have our talents, Old Man. And I'm sorry you feel that way. Despite the fact that you're not a fan of creativity, the genesis of this entire blog comes from you. So while you do have a tendency to take more credit than you deserve for my life some days, you can take credit for this blog.
Saturn: I still think it should come out on a schedule. But I grudgingly give you credit for persistence. Four years is a long time to be blogging. Your astrological analysis still needs a lot of work, if we're being honest. But once again, you persist in your studies and maybe someday there will be a payoff it in for you if you work hard.
John: I expect nothing less than your total candor, Old Man. I know being positive just isn't really in your makeup. But now that you've passed over 5 Gemini, perhaps I can be more open to your influence in my life. I think I can go that far.
Saturn: Well, young man, I'm not going anywhere, so take your time. You'll come around...eventually. You're at least smart enough to study astrology; most people don't have the drive these days. They're more interested in seeing a long string of people's idiotic life stories told in pieces.
John: Yeah, I just can't see you doing the social media thing. But that's OK...it's not for everyone.
Saturn: See? You're learning to accept me already.
John: Let's not get carried away, Old Man. I'm working on it.
Saturn: Good to know. [Pause] Well, I'm glad we could have this chat. If there's nothing else...
John: No, I think that's it for now. Hey, is that "Wall Street Week" I hear in the background?
Saturn: Of course it is. Time to see how badly the tech stocks tanked today. People should just know better.
John: Good night, Old Man. Sleep well.
Saturn: You too. And remember to keep Saturn in Saturnalia!