Moon: Hello everyone...Lady Moon here! Looks like I'll get the opportunity to start off this blog tonight. [Opens Erin Condren planner] So it's been a few weeks since John's been on, and I figured I'd take the opportunity to come aboard and give my two cents. Normally I don't do these sorts of things without a full meeting...too public and all...but I guess I can every once in a while.
Jupiter: I'm an old hand at this, Lady Moon! Just follow my lead and you'll do just fine.
Moon: Thanks for the enthusiasm and support, Jove. So let's get down to business. Our esteemed blogger has survived his time without his beloved. She returned and everything is right in his world. Well, mostly, anyway.
Jupiter: Dude, the guy just needs to let loose and have some fun. Saturn has got him by the fucking balls, and I...
Moon: Jupiter, PLEASE. We're not taking the opportunity to disparage other planets.
Jupiter: I'm not disparaging anyone, Lady. It's just who that stubborn bastard IS. And he is John's ruling planet, after all. It's such a shame he wasn't born just a few hours earlier...it would have been ME.
Moon: Well, Jupiter, he wasn't. John has to live with his chart the way it is, and he's been doing that for quite some time. He often writes in his astrology class #ilovemychart for that reason. I mean...Saturn rules John's Moon position, so he's been dealing with that for a while and learning how to work with me better all the time.
Jupiter: Saturn is still a huge dick, even though his own isn't really...
Moon: [SIGH] Jupiter, do I need to do this on my own? Or can you behave yourself?
Jupiter: No, ma'am. I'll try to conduct myself in a matter more befitting my station. Or some shit like that.
Moon: Indeed you will. [PAUSE] Anyway, my point in all this is that our favorite blogger's been a little off lately. He's been struggling a little with me and I'm guessing it's because he's been working too much.
Jupiter: And which planet's fault would that be?
Moon: JOVE! What did I ask you to do?
Jupiter: It was SATURN the prick's fault! He's always behind that shit.
Moon: Jupiter, it's time for you to go.
Jupiter: But, Lady Moon!
Moon: That's your third strike, young man. OUT!
Moon: [sadly shakes head] Anyway, our intrepid blogger has been struggling a little lately and I suspect it's because he's been working too much. I believe he's referred to it as burnout. So he is officially on vacation as of tonight. The next time he'll be reading is October 8 at the shop, although he'll be teaching before that. I know he's particularly excited for a new set of tarot students. [Flips through Erin Condren planner]. Oh damn, now I have to do Jupiter's part as well. That's just the part that he never seems to get to about readings and charts being awesome and amazing and a fantastic gift as well as an important part of John's tarot business.
[Jupiter opens the door]
Jupiter: Lady Moon, can I PLEASE come back in and finish?
Moon: [Glares at Jupiter] Fine. You may. But no more funny business, Mister!
Jupiter: Yes, ma'am. Our blogger is going on vacation to the west coast where he will perform that most solemn of Jupiter duties, a marriage ceremony for two dear friends. And since he's only been to this place once, I'm considering it one of my trips.
Moon: He desperately needs a vacation, Jupiter, so I hope it's different and exotic.
Jupiter: It sure will be. I've also encouraged Neptune to help John enjoy the vacation with some tiki libations! That man deserves to party.
Moon: Well, I certainly hope he'll have the opportunity to do so.
Jupiter: Me too! He gets more like Saturn when he doesn't have fun.
Jupiter: Sorry, ma'am...but he does!
Moon: Well, just for that I'm not telling you about John's progress on one of his books.
Moon: Sorry, Jupiter. That's all we have time for.
Jupiter: I never realized you could be so cruel, Lady Moon!
Moon: Emotions can get that way sometimes, young man. Perhaps you'll learn your lesson eventually.