[knocking on door]
King of Wands: [booming voice] Come on, Jennifer. We know you're in there!
[sound of feet coming down stairs]
Queen of Wands: Please open the door, great lady! We have brought you a pumpkin chai to start your day!
Jen [behind door]: Oh shit.
[Door opens a small amount]
Jen: John's not here.
Queen of Wands: And you're on your way to pottery class, right? We know you love it! And so do we!
Jen: [confused] Yes, I am, and I do. And the Ren Faire is OVER! [Pause] I don't know what came over me but I apologize for being rude.
King of Wands: We have that effect on people, Jennifer, but that's OK. We love you without that speech filter.
[King gestures to Jen holding a venti pumpkin chai. Jen opens door, comes onto steps, and takes it.]
Jen: So if you're not heading to a ren faire...[mouth drops open in shock]. Well damn...I suspect I know who you must be now.
King of Wands: [inclines head] Excellent. We're here to talk about your husband!
Jen: So you want me to talk to two...archetypes...about my human husband? OK, so he's weird and I debate his normalcy sometimes. But I'm not in the mood to share, and I've got shit to do. [shakes head and mumbles] Weird talking without a filter!
King of Wands: Well we won't take much of your time...
Jen: Your Highness, you may think you're only competing with pottery, but you're also competing with custom orders, National Novel Writing Month...and the new Assassin's Creed Origins! Shit to DO.
Queen of Wands: We're here because we're concerned about John. Two Tarot Tuesdays have gone by with no blogs and we're just making sure he's OK...
Jen: I can tell you how he won't be OK, Lady. He won't be OK if he doesn't have clothes to wear on his trip this weekend to Midwest School of Astrology. So unless you two want to carry down some laundry from upstairs...
King of Wands: So he's OK then?
Jen: Yes, he's fine! He's already at work, the crazy early morning bastard, and sometimes he gets up even earlier to work out. So physically he's great.
Queen of Wands: [relieved] Oh, we're so glad to hear it!
King of Wands: Yes, we want to make sure that his public affairs remain at the forefront of his mind.
Jen: He'll be happy he missed you. [Pause] Shit! Sorry. Is there something else before I say something truly embarrassing?
Queen of Wands: Aren't you John's artist? We were led to understand that there's a book about us coming next...
Jen: Oh, I see where this is going now. When John actually finishes WRITING that book then we'll talk. But that conversation won't be today. Thanks for the chai, but if you please, nicely fuck off! Royally even!
[Jen slams door]
Queen of Wands: Well, that was somewhat embarrassing...
King of Wands: [pulls out smartphone] Yes, somewhat, my dear. Let's repair to our Uber. It's the only way to escape an embarrassing situation in style!
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