[phone rings--"Age of Aquarius" ringtone]
John: Hello?
Uranus: Hi John...Urnie here! I heard you were looking for me!
John: Hi there sir...yes, I was, actually. How did you hear that?
Uranus: Social media is such a great way to stay in touch with people. Mercury told me someone was asking you about me so I figured I'd give you a call.
John: [annoyed] Did Mercury tell you that the message he saw was a private message and not on social media?
Uranus: He did not mention that part, John.
John: [grumbles] I'm going to have to talk with him again about private information...
Uranus: Well there's your problem right there! Merc doesn't believe that information is private. And the Sun just moved into Gemini, the planet of information. So what do you expect?
John: Fair enough. So did Mercury tell you why I wanted to talk to you?
Uranus: I already know why. It's because EVERYONE is talking about me right now. I just changed signs and moved from Aries into Taurus! So I'm sort of a big deal at the moment because it only happens once every seven years! Tons of astrologers are sharing information about me.
John: Well a lot of my readers don't know you particularly well. Could you tell me about yourself for their benefit?
Uranus: Of course! Wider audiences are always better. And to be fair you really don't talk about me that much in this space. The Old Man always seems to hog the spotlight. We need to talk about that sometime.
John: Whatever.
Uranus: Dismissive much? I could make a really good argument...
John: I'm sure you could because one thing people do know is that you love being deliberately contrary!
Uranus: RIGHT. I do my own thing. I'm the planet of rebellion and revolution! So went people want to be shaken, not stirred, they come to me! Or rather, I come to them.
John: You're the planet that breaks shit.
Uranus: I object to that characterization. I'm the wild card. [shrugs shoulders] OK well yeah often it involves breaking shit. But I break your cell phones and other devices so you can get new ones. That's cool, isn't it?
John: I guess that depends on who you ask. So you moved into Taurus. What's going to happen now?
Uranus: Well, Taurus is the sign of stuff. So I think a lot of people are going to start throwing stuff away. Hoarders beware! I think people are going to have less of a focus on material things over the next 7 years. But more importantly, let's talk about money!
John: That's an important topic to a lot of people.
Uranus: It sure is! I'm part of the money revolution. And I think we're going to see more changes in our financial lives. More new currencies like BitCoin are going to come around. Some will be a flash in the pan, but some, like Taurus the Bull, will stay around for a while. Knowing which is which will be challenging!
John: What else are you going to deal with?
Uranus: Not done with money yet! So when was the last time you went to a physical bank?
John: Ummmm, I don't know...a few weeks ago?
Uranus: There's almost no point in going into one. And many banks don't have physical locations anymore, or very few. With the rise of technology, people can perform the vast majority of tasks with their gadgets and there's no need for the old-time teller. Most financial institutions will start needing social media coordinators and online financial advisors to answer more questions via chat or text.
John: Fascinating! I could see that.
Uranus: And when was the last time you went into a physical STORE? I mean not an online shop.
John: Yesterday.
Uranus: Right. That revolution will take longer but I expect retail to be completely transformed in seven years. Who's to say who will survive and who won't?
John: Wow. That sounds scary!
Uranus: The last time I went into Taurus--it was 84 years ago--we were talking about the great economy after World War 1, then the crash of 1929, inflation, the Great Depression, rationing, and the beginning of social security. So you can expect lots of similar changes here. Did you know that the last time I was in Taurus the game Monopoly was invented?
John: NO! Really? That's one of my favorites!
Uranus: Yes indeed. 1935! And honestly, people need to be VERY CAREFUL with their money this time around, if history is any judge. There will be a lot of rags to riches stories, but even more riches to rags ones, I suspect. That's the problem with me and money...easy come, easy go! Expect significant fluctuations. And if you lose money under me, you're likely not getting it back at least anytime soon.
John: Yeah, it sounds like it. But what about the good news?
Uranus: There's PLENTY of that too. I'm the planet of revolutions, including feminism! Expect women to be earning more and becoming the breadwinners in more families. Also, in more boardrooms, women will play a larger role. I'm progressive, right? Well, I suspect there may be a lot more diversity. Taurus doesn't change much, but I'm here to tell you that if I put my mind to it, some big things can happen.
John: Now the progressive stuff sounds fantastic. Different is good!
Uranus: Indeed.
John: So, can you give my readers a final thought.
Uranus: Sure. One of the areas that people forget--you included--is that I'm a freedom-loving planet. Under Taurus I'm going to want to free you from stuff, traditional financial stuff, and traditional roles and values. Let me show you what I mean. There may be some significant job losses over the next seven years in careers that normally were good earners. That's because it's time to evolve. If you find yourself involuntarily "freed" from a job--fired, laid off, etc.--then it's about what you DO with that freedom that counts.
John: That's so easy to say until you're the one wondering where your next dollar is coming from.
Uranus: Spoken like a Saturn rising! No one likes losing their income--it's nerve-racking, as Mercury will tell you. But I'm telling you to look to the future, because you'll see a lot more glimpses of what's to come, if you're prepared to look. Don't get caught flat-footed. Be careful with debt, pensions, and any investment that you think is going to pay you in the long term. Get a new financial advisor if yours isn't working for you. And then hopefully the plan you choose will help you weather the storm.
John: Thanks so much, Uranus...
Uranus: Dude, I gotta jet! Lots to do!
[Uranus hangs up]
John: Well, I guess he's done.
No comments:
Post a Comment