Venus: Hi Mercury...did you see this blog the other day?
Mercury: Of course I did. What's the problem?
Venus: You mean other than Jupiter calling me a liar?
Mercury: Ah yes, I had briefly forgotten. My shadow period ends in two days, so I'm still a little retro-groggy.
Venus: [gasps] Of all the things to forget...really!
Mercury: It happens, Venus. By your language I can tell you're upset.
Venus: You're damn right I am!
Mercury: I don't see why.
Venus: And pray tell me, King of All Information, why I shouldn't be upset.
Mercury: Emotions are not my area, dear colleague, so I can't speak to that per se. But perhaps I could ask a question.
Venus: [exasperated] Sure. Why not?
Mercury: Did you ever consider that the information you convey to people is sometimes wholly inaccurate?
Venus: [mouth open] How dare you!
Mercury: I'm just presenting facts. You can choose to like them or not but that doesn't make them less truthful. Are you not a fan of truth?
Venus: I'm trying to make people more comfortable. Calling me a liar doesn't help anything!
Mercury: The information is what it is. Humans put the emotional spin on information, Venus.
Venus: But what Jupiter said really hurt my feelings and I'm sure it makes humans think less of me!
Mercury: Ah ha...now we're getting somewhere. So we've established that 1) your feelings were hurt and 2) you're concerned about your overall perception.
Venus: I want people to be comfortable with me and like me.
Mercury: Honestly, the data I have suggest you're the most liked of all the planets.
Venus: Really?
Mercury: No, of course not. You're in the top five for sure though. [smiles]
Venus: Mercury, why would you say that?
Mercury: How do you think Saturn felt when he found out that you misrepresented your conversation with Jupiter?
Venus: He was supposed to feel good!
Mercury: Answer the question, please.
Venus: [pause] He probably felt the same way I did.
Mercury: [nods] That's the conclusion I drew as well.
Venus: Being truthful isn't my job!
Mercury: Wow. Very enlightening.
Venus: I don't think this is fair at all!
Mercury: Fairness has nothing to do with it, Venus. So your job is to make people happy even if it's not the truth at all. That sounds like what I'm hearing.
Venus: You're splitting hairs now. It might not be fully the truth but it's not really a lie!
Mercury: I think we should agree to disagree, Venus.
Venus: Oooooh! Next time I'll call Jupiter!
Mercury: A solid choice for perception management and getting your own story out there. I'd give Saturn a wide birth for a while, though.
Venus: Thanks for the tip, Captain Obvious! [storms off]
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