Saturday, November 30, 2019

Jupiter vs. Saturn: Shameless Marketing and the Polite Lie


Jupiter: Good people, it is time for John's annual shameless marketing post here on Small Business Saturday! I'll be one of your co-hosts for this blog, and as you can see, the enthusiasm from my co-host, Saturn, is palpable as usual!

Saturn: Quite. Before we start, I have a question for you, Jupiter. 

Jupiter: Sure, Old Man. What's shakin'?

Saturn: First of all, stop using that plebeian dialect! You sound more and more like Mars all the time. People expect something more dignified from us. 

Jupiter: [sings] You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch...

Saturn: [frowns] Second of all, Venus told me you said you looked forward to working with me on this blog every year. Is that true?

Jupiter: [mouth open] She told you that?

Saturn: Yes, she did. [pause] Are you surprised?

Jupiter:  NO! [stammers] I mean...no, no, no. Of course I expected she would tell you that. 

Saturn: I find myself unconvinced. 

Jupiter: Yeah, well...[pauses]

Saturn: You've become so reticent all of a sudden.  Your silence deafens me. 

Jupiter: [pause] I don't really know how to tell you this. 

Saturn: Tell me what, Jupiter?

Jupiter: [sheepishly] So...Venus may have...ummm...deliberately made our conversation sound a lot more positive about our annual shameless marketing interaction than it actually was. 

Saturn: [nods] I understand. Go on.

Jupiter: Venus has this ability to...maybe that's not the right way to phrase it. [thinks] Venus sometimes enhances...shit, that's not it either. Ummmm, so you know how some planets can obscure...damn it!

Saturn: [small smile] I don't think I've ever seen you like this. Other planets might even think I was...amused, even though my annoyance rises. Could you get to the point?

Jupiter: OK, Old Man. She lies, OK? Venus lies. 

Saturn: It's not polite to call out another planet in this manner. What do you mean?

Jupiter: Venus is not a fan of discomfort, Saturn. She wants to make everyone happy. As such, sometimes she tells what some would call a "polite lie" when the truth might not be welcomed.

Saturn: I see. [pauses] So you don't like working with me?

Jupiter: You see, that's not it either!

Saturn: My tolerance for ambiguity is not my strong suit, Jupiter. 

Jupiter: Old friend, I don't HATE working with you at all. You're an...acquired taste, and I say that as a compliment. Venus knows that and so she probably used the polite lie to make you feel better about yourself in the short-term.

Saturn: So, it wasn't the truth at all, but it made me more tractable, right?

Jupiter: [sadly] Yes, that's possible. 

Saturn: When I asked Venus if she wanted to do this blog with me instead of you, she told me you were looking forward to working on it with me, so she couldn't take the opportunity from you.

Jupiter: Old friend, there may have been another motive as well. 

Saturn: [pauses] She didn't want to do it, so she made it up as misdirection so that she wouldn't have to refuse my request?

Jupiter: When you break it down that way, it sounds a lot more harsh, which wasn't her intent. But you're correct. [pause] Now you see what she was trying to do.

Saturn: [seriously] Yes, I understand. [pause] Everyone thinks that Venus is all love and light, that she's a perfect planet that everyone wants to be around. I don't think people see the side of her that can be downright insidious. 

Jupiter: We all have our faults. You have to be the disciplined one. You HAVE to tell humans the reality. You are driven to make people better. Venus' role is different. 

Saturn: Yes, it is at that. 

Jupiter: Believe it or not, sometimes humans prefer the polite lie even when they know the truth. The hospitality industry is practically based on it.

Saturn: [nods] Thanks for explaining it to me, Jupiter. You are many things, but I appreciate that you were honest with me. You've helped me to see things in a very different light. [pause] I'm no longer interested in working on this today, Jupiter. I need some space to handle this...disappointment. 

Jupiter: Sure, old friend. We'll do it another day. 

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