Monday, October 12, 2015

Sun vs. Saturn: Growing Toward the Sun

Moon: The Sun will see you now, Saturn. 

Saturn: Thank you, good Lady. Please see that we're not disturbed. 

Moon: Yes, sir. In you go.

[Saturn walks into the Sun's office and closes the door. Lady Moon flips Saturn off.]

Saturn: Thanks for taking the time to see me, sir. 

Sun: Certainly, Saturn. [The Sun's phone rings] Excuse me a moment. Yes, Lady? [pauses] I see. Thank you...I'll let him know. [hangs up with a chuckle]. So apparently you're "an asshole".

Saturn: What? Who was that?

Sun: Lady Moon. She said something about making sure to interrupt you during our meeting. Did you two have some kind of incident, Old Man?

Saturn: That was rude! All I did was tell her I wanted us not to be disturbed. And I don't expect such language from her.

Sun: I think I get it now. Lady Moon does not take it kindly when people other than me try to dictate what goes on in my office. So you deserved that one. And frankly, even the Moon has a dark're just not around to hear it. 

Saturn: Be that as it may, good sir...

Sun: Yes?

Saturn: John just started with astrology college recently. 

Sun: Yes, I have been following his exploits on Facebook. The Midwest School of Astrology! I couldn't be more thrilled for him!

Saturn: Well...I'm not happy. 

Sun: I usually try to avoid sarcasm, Old Man...but should I be surprised?

Saturn: It's one more excuse for John to lessen my influence on him. He found out that people are their moon signs as children and "grow toward the Sun". I rule his Moon, so once again that leaves me out in the cold. 

Sun: You know, for an astrological planet you seem to really have an inferiority complex.

Saturn: I do not!

Sun: You sure do. Why is that?

Saturn: Do you know how it feels to be seen as the planet who puts restrictions on people? Or the planet that everyone hates? Because that's where I am. 

Sun: Saturn, you play an important astrological role. And you should know that by now. What I don't understand is why you let this...this John guy, this blogger, as nice as he is, make you so angry. You have millions of other people in your domain. Why him?

Saturn: Because he's figuring me out. You see, most people don't know astrology. They just see it as a fun diversion in their newspaper. But John...he was one of my people growing up, and I was exceptionally proud of him. Since he started learning more about all of us, however...he's pushed away from me. And he's trying to tell more people about me and my influence. That's not helping my cause at all. His blog takes his fair share of pot shots in my direction and I'm tired of it. 

Sun: Saturn, I'm really sorry, but you're wasting my time with all this. You know I've always been here to listen. My advice is to let it go. How many people actually listen to John, anyway? He's a neophyte at best. Stop taking him so seriously. 

Saturn: Maybe you're right, sir. I just...I hate it when people trash my reputation. I mean, they said in class that Capricorn was like "concrete shoes" and John thought that was HILARIOUS. They don't understand how important I am. 

Sun: And I'm sure John for one DOES understand how important you are. He's probably done more positive things for your cause than you realize. But you know as well as I do that he's coming up on his Saturn-Saturn opposition in his natal chart, and that can make people a little bit more...well, YOU know.

Saturn: Yes, I sure do. [gets up] Thanks for your time, sir. I've already taken too much of it. See you at the next meeting. 

Sun: Hang in there, Old Man. It will get better, I'm sure. 

[Saturn opens the door and leaves]

Moon: [mimicking Saturn] Please see that we're NOT disturbed.  [high squeaky voice] Of course, your Lordship! 

Sun: [laughs] That was not done with your usual subtlety, Luna.

Moon: Fuck him. That old bastard really pisses me off! Coming in here to try to give you orders...who in the Universe does he think he is?

Sun: [smiling] I adore you, Luna.

Moon: That prick. I feel bad for John...he's really fucked because Saturn rules his Moon position, too.

Sun: John will be fine. Please don't trouble yourself over Saturn anymore , OK?

Moon: [smiles] I'll endeavor to grumble more silently, sir. 

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