Dear Mercury, You Consummate Motherfucker...

Your latest retrograde period is in full swing, and already we are starting to see the effects down here. And as you can likely tell by the title of this blog, I'm less than impressed with your ability to function effectively right now.

I just leased a new car. Unfortunately, it has a scratch on it that the dealership says they will fix. So my salesperson--we'll call him "S"--asks me to contact him so I can set it up. I do that, and we arrange for me to come in before Xmas for the repair. 

When I show up at around 7:45, I notice I'm behind a long line of cars waiting for service and there doesn't appear to be anyone working. So I park my car and head into the service bay, where a very harried service coordinator--let's call him "T"--explains that he's the only one around right now and asks if we can wait in the lounge. So the three of us waiting there for him traipse into the next room and grab chairs. 

About 20 minutes passes and another employee--I thought another service coordinator, and we'll call him "A"--came in to ask us if anyone was just doing oil changes, and no one replied. Then a few minutes later he asked us if we needed the shuttle service. Once again, no reply. 

Five minutes later he returns and asks if I'm next. Seeing that I am, I go back into the service bay with him. He asks me where my car is and then takes the key to go get it.

He returns and asks me if I'm waiting for the car, and I tell him that I'm getting a loaner. His reply: "Who told you that?"
"My salesperson, S." 
"A loaner for an oil change?"
"I'm not here for an oil change. I'm here for scratch repair." 
"Oh, ok. Well, then you'll have to see T," and points over to his office. I guess A just assumed that's why I was there, even though when he asked us earlier I did NOT raise my hand. 

So now I'm waiting for T in the service bay and a mechanic comes out to take my car back. He has an exchange with A that I didn't quite hear and then drives off with my car. 

T finishes with his client, comes out of his office and asks if I've been helped. I explain that I'm not here for an oil change and that A told me to see him. He looks frustrated/pissed off/exasperated and turns to A. 

"A, where is his car?" 
"They brought it back. I didn't know it wasn't an oil change." [Actually, you DID know when they came to get it, asshole!]
"Did you see the scratch?"
"No, I didn't."
T seems really irritated now. "Where are the keys?"
A gestures. "Cashier's office."
T apologizes to me and strides off to get my keys. Shortly he comes back through the service area; he's clearly on a mission. 

Once T leaves the area, a second service coordinator comes up to A at his desk generally being useless. "A, you are NOT going to pull this shit all day!" A starts protesting and complaining. At one point he refers to me; I guess he thought he was out of earshot. "This guy says he's getting a loaner and I don't even know how to do that." More bitching ensues and lasts another minute or so. 

T drives my car into the bay and gets out. I show him the scratch in question. Since the paint is involved in the scratch, he says he's going to need the paint guys for this. "I'm aware of that," I reply since S already told me that when I got the car.

We go into the office, and he pulls me up on the computer. I tell him that a loaner was scheduled for me and that the painters would be here today. 
"Who told you that?" 
"My salesperson, S." [I'm thinking...is this Groundhog Day or some shit? Didn't I just have this exchange?!?]
"Well, there's no appointment for you in the computer." 

In other words, my salesperson, S,  told no one that I'd be coming that day. S didn't tell anyone anything. I apologize. T tells me it's their fault and asks if I need this done today. I tell him it's not vital to have it done immediately, and he suggests that he set up an appointment for me right before the new year so he can make sure the paint guys will be there and the job can get done. Or he can try to get the painters in today and get it done. 

At this point, Merc, you have fucked me over so hard that I'm not risking giving my car to them today only for him to tell me at 5 that he can't get it done. So I tell him to reschedule me, get my keys, and go to work. By 9:00 am, I get to work, and I just had to laugh my ass off. I could have been livid, but despite the fuckery of A, T clearly tried his best to resolve the situation. You fucked T over too, by the way, a nice guy just trying to do his job. 

So all in all, you cost me a few hours of time, and I had to stay late at work. And no, it's still not done. At this point, I'm probably going to wait until it's all over and you're moving forward again. As long as they're paying for the repair, it can wait. 

But still...fuck you very much for wasting my time and sowing confusion!

Regards,

John

Update: The date they wanted me to come in came and went with no communication from them. I guess waiting was the right call after all!