Moon: Unfortunately, no, sir. We've still got Urnie out and...
Mars: And the SHRIMP is out too!
[The Sun frowns. Venus kicks Mars hard in the leg]
Mars: [yells] OW! Bitch that was my calf!
Moon: [chuckles] Mars is also correct, sir. Pluto is out as well.
Sun: Mars, I've spoken to you about asking to be recognized.
Mars: Sometimes I've got shit to SAY!
[Sun puts hands in prayer position]
Saturn: Mars, none of us want to be here, so don't make it more painful. And in my humble opinion, you've done more than enough recently.
Mars: I paid to fix your fucking door, Depression Man! So we're even!
Sun: Gentlemen, that issue has been resolved.
Saturn: That's debatable, sir, but I'm willing to move forward at this time.
Moon: If I may, I'd like to share the eclipse report.
Sun: Please proceed, Lady Moon.
Moon: The past few weeks have shown a tremendous amount of upheaval in many areas. Our favorite blogger is spreading his wings at a regional psychic expo.
Neptune: I LOVE those things! So many neat vendors and intuitive readings. He'll have a great time.
Jupiter: And he's teaching two classes, Nep. He enjoys that so much.
Saturn: We'll see if he makes the money back that he spent to go there. I'm going with no.
Mercury: No disrespect intended, Saturn, but you seem even more negative than usual. And that's saying something.
Saturn: I did a lot of thinking while I was away, Mercury...
Mars: Oh shit! That's never a win!
Saturn: As I stated earlier, Mars, you have done ENOUGH!
Sun: Saturn, if you can't play well with others, then you may excuse yourself. But we have an agenda here and I won't let you waste everyone's time with your poor attitude.
Saturn: [gets up] Brilliant idea, sir. I think I will do just that. The lack of respect in this room is suffocating me.
Sun: There will be consequences, Saturn.
Saturn: I'm prepared to accept them, sir. [walks out]
Sun: Lady Moon, please be sure the record is shown to reflect Saturn's departure. And please schedule some additional time with him on my calendar for next week.
Moon: [grimaces] Yes, sir.
Sun: So let's return to our sheep, as the French say. How are we dealing with the eclipse fallout, folks?
Mars: We've got lots of angry people, sir. I just hope they know to take it out on gym equipment, but for the time being, I'm not hearing about it. Mostly they're trying to hang in there.
Sun: Thank you, Mars. Mercury...once again, your departure caused a lot of problems. What are you doing to set things right again?
Mercury: Everything I can, sir. Now that I'm pretty much back up to full speed, I'm working on lots of different paperwork matters...people applying for jobs and the like.
Sun: Thanks, Merc. Jupiter?
Jupiter: It's been a challenge, sir. There's been a lot of prayer and meditation with the amazing and scary weather plaguing the United States. I was also hoping to bring something up to the Old Man, but he flounced.
Sun: I'll mention it to him, Jupiter. What is it?
Jupiter: Our favorite blogger has another test this week, sir, and I was hoping to get Saturn's support because it's a management exam.
Sun: Another one? I thought the last one was it.
Jupiter: No...apparently this is the last one.
Mars: He's going to kick its ASS, sir! All I do is win win win no matter what...
Mercury: He's been preparing, sir. It's an interview and a presentation, so Jupiter and I will definitely get together before the exam, which is on Wednesday afternoon.
Sun: I'll speak to Saturn before then, but Mars, be prepared to give him your help as well. I'm in Virgo so it's a great time for this type of work. I know he will appreciate all of your assistance, folks. Lady Moon, how is he doing emotionally?
Moon: John's a little nervous, but he's holding it together.
Sun: Hmmm. Perhaps you could speak with him? I know you don't normally intervene directly...
Moon: [smiles] I'd be honored to speak with him, sir. It's been a turbulent time emotionally for him and for many others after our last eclipse, sir. And you're correct...normally I'm present but more passive.
Sun: I'd appreciate it, Lady Moon. Does anyone have any alibis?
Mars: What the fuck do I need one fore? I'm HERE, aren't I?
[Sun places palms over his eyes]
Moon: We're adjourned, everyone. Venus, if you don't have any plans, I need you for a bit. [cuts eyes to Sun]
Venus: Yes, ma'am. [gets up]
Mars: This whole place is FUCKED! At least the NFL is back!
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