Sunday, May 31, 2015

Letters from Saturn: Who Cares About Mercury Retrograde? Suck it up!

Dear Readers, 

John is once again sucked into a video game. Well, actually, technically he's sucked into two video games, but not both at once. He's wasting time as usual. 

If he's not killing Nazis on the TV downstairs he's building fictional cities with fictional people, with fictional needs, in a fictional world. At least with the cities he's building something that might stand the test of time, metaphorically of course since he can delete that city out of existence anytime he likes. 

I don't pretend to even understand what joy can be seen in games--personally, business accounting, self-loathing, and cutting off Cupid's wings are more my speed--but I digress. 

Saturn Cutting off Cupid's Wings with a Scythe
By Ivan Akimov (1802) (Wikipedia)

While he's otherwise "occupied", it's a good time for me to offer my opinion on the current astrological situation involved with my brother/sister planet, Mercury. 

Everyone loses their ever-loving minds when that little planet goes retrograde. I'm in retrograde just around 40% of the time and no one says a word. The outer planets are retrograde even more than I am. Astrologers barely care about that anyway. 

And if you're going to get really excited about something in astrology, how about focusing on my squares and oppositions to your natal Saturn, which will truly test you every seven years, or my returns at 30, 60 and 90, where you re-evaluate your life's responsibilities? Mercury is so...ephemeral. Nothing lasts with him. You never know where he is, and honestly, he will say damn near anything. No dignity or respect in a planet like that.  

John often offers advice about what people do when Mercury goes retrograde, so I think I will give some of my own. SUCK IT UP. 

That's right...SUCK. IT. UP. 

Your phone not getting your emails and text messages fast enough? Did one of your appointments get cancelled unexpectedly? Did you get charged twice the last time you were eating out? Let me ask one more question: Who cares? Not me. 

Blaming Mercury is just another way for you to pin all your problems on factors that are beyond your control. But you have the ultimate control in how you react to things. Take some responsibility for your lives instead of getting all riled up about one more orb in the sky. 

How about doing something constructive during this time instead of wallowing in self-pity? Maybe your life plan needs to be re-tooled, and this is a great time for it. 

Personally, I don't see any dignity in "freaking out", as Mars would say, three to four times a year. Just look at yourselves and how you're behaving. Totally juvenile, if you ask me.

Your time is precious, and I sincerely appreciate your attention to this important message, despite the fact that I've seen the need to bring one of your many shortcomings into the light. Stop worrying about Mercury and start exercising some self-restraint in your complaints about him/her; you're only making yourself look more foolish. The fact that John publicizes it...well, I'll have to take that up with him. AGAIN. 

To reiterate: Suck it up!

Very truly yours,


PS: That painting above should show you how serious I am: I cut off Cupid's wings one time. Ahhhh...those were the days, let me tell you.

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