Sunday, May 3, 2015

Saturn vs. Jupiter: Socializing with the Social Planets

Jupiter: Welcome, old man! Way to be punctual!

Saturn: Hello, Jupiter. Thanks for the invitation. 

Jupiter: Sure. Have a seat. [Saturn sits] Whenever you call me, something's on your mind. Talk to me!

Saturn: Well, Jupiter, I really don't know where to start. 

Jupiter: I'll just hang, Saturn. I'm pretty easygoing. 


Saturn: I'm going through kind of a crisis right now, Jupiter. 

Jupiter: Are you kidding me? The great Saturn, having a crisis? Impossible. 

Saturn: I'm really not kidding, I'm afraid. I don't know that who I am right now. 

Jupiter: Saturn, you and I have known each other a long time. What's got you thinking that? 

Saturn: Have you looked at the world these days? I mean, I know I'm much more...well, saturnian than most...but it's downright depressing. 

Jupiter: My old friend, it's BEEN depressing for millennia, if you look at it that way. And without sounding offensive, you would know, right?

Saturn: [chuckles] Yeah, I guess I would at that. But I'm concerned that it's even worse than usual. I mean, take a look around. In many of the areas that I'm responsible for, it's totally out of control. If Mars was here, he'd probably say something like, "Duuuuuuuuuude, that shit is OFF THE HOOK!"

Jupiter: Saturn, I don't think that idiom means what you think it means.

Saturn: What doesn't?

Jupiter: "Off the hook". I think it's supposed to be a good thing. 

Saturn: Well major conflict for him would be a good thing, likely. But I feel like I'm just not doing my job, that I'm out of touch, you know?

Jupiter: [laughs] Maybe just a little. But I'm responsible for all of this, too. Don't forget that. 

Saturn: What do you mean?

Jupiter: You and I have always been a matched pair. You establish the boundaries and I push against them. You ask for people to be conventional, and I encourage them to go overboard. You encourage people to accept, and I want them to question. And it's not always in a good way, you know? People on earth right now are, not to put too fine a point on it, fucking crazy. If you think the government or the police can control it all, you know it's not true. 

Saturn: You're right, I do know that, Jupiter. I get that people get out of control and it's not always something you can deal with. But it seems to me that people care about the things that I stand for less and less. People SAY they want order and boundaries but yet they get angry and go out and burn buildings and try to pass it off as "civil disobedience". I know humans are going to push the boundaries, but right now people on earth are acting like there are none. Hell, an article in a major newspaper this week suggested that dieting, the ultimate form of self-discipline, may not actually do anything! It's MADNESS! 

Jupiter: But there are always boundaries, Saturn, even if you don't see them. People who break the law are being investigated and arrested, and order is being restored. It's just a turbulent time right now. I love for people to have the freedom to do what they want when they want...but there's always a limit, and that's what you're here for. Remember a few years ago when John went on that trip to France. He said that was a Jupiter-ruled trip, not because he didn't want you along, but because he needed the freedom to go and explore and not be tied to a schedule. Sometimes people need that. But we keep each other in check. I don't want people who are depressed and repress their beliefs any more than you want looting and rioting in the streets. To be honest, I feel the same way you do. Freedom is one thing, but acting like an asshole is something we can do without. 

Saturn: I'm sure you're right, Jupiter. 

Jupiter: And remember what St. Augustine said about us: "The stars may impel, but they do not compel." In other words, humans have free will. If they choose to break society's laws, well...they face your judgment. And as much as you and I have disagreed in the past, I need you to be there to rein them in. Just like you need me to nudge people away from feeling dour and depressed sometimes and go out and have a good time. Too much of a good thing can be...fatal. 

Saturn: As much as we disagree, Jupiter, I tend to agree with you. Can I ask you for something, without worrying that I'm going to be called out for it later?

Jupiter: Think of me as your confessor, Old Man. What happens with Jupiter stays with Jupiter...unless it involves Neptune, in which case he's going to make drunken Facebook posts about it anyway. But I promise to keep your secret. What is it?

Saturn: It's been a truly rough week, and I need a drink. Just a small one...of something nice and old. What do you have?

Jupiter: A Dom Perignon 1959, Old Man. I've got that and some 25-year-old scotch. Which would you like?

Saturn: The Dom, if you please. That was an excellent year. 

[Jupiter pours two glasses of Dom, and hands one to Saturn.]

Jupiter: [Holds up glass] I propose a toast. To Saturn, the old man who is the glue that holds the fabric of this fragile universe together. [clinks glasses]. 

Saturn: [tastes Dom] Wow, this is lovely. One good toast deserves another. [Raises glass] To Jupiter, my dutiful partner, who never hesitates to tell me when I am wrong, and encourages all people to seek freedom and justice. [clinks glasses]

Jupiter: Very well said, Old Man. After these past few weeks, I think we all could use a drink. 

Saturn: Indeed. So even if I could use a second one I can't ask for it. Boundaries, you know. 

Jupiter: Well I already refilled your glass. Sorry for not asking you first, Old Man. 

Saturn: Oh well. I can't waste this stuff, so...

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