Moon: Hi Mars! Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. Come on in.
Mars: Uh, thanks, Lady Moon. [hesitates sitting down]
Moon: Have a seat right here. [gestures to chair]
Mars: OK. [walks slowly toward chair]
Moon: Am I making you nervous, Mars?
Mars: FUCK NO! I mean, goddammit! Fucknuggets! Venus will be pissed if she finds out I swore in front of you, ma'am.
Moon: It's OK, Mars. You're not in trouble or anything. And anything we say in here stays with me; I won't say a word to Venus. [pats chair]
[Mars sits]
Moon: It's nervous to be called into the office, Mars. You don't know why I've sent for you.
Mars: [relieved] Yeah, I was wondering what in the blue fuck I had done now. Goddamn fucknuggets! I did it again! Puppy shit!
[Lady Moon chuckles]
Moon: The Sun asked me to meet you so you wouldn't be as...defensive, I guess, is the best term to use. I knew beforehand that it wouldn't matter, that you'd be guarded either way.
Mars: Yeah, I'm always ready for some kind of attack.
Moon: I'm sensing that. Well, you're supposed to meet with John's mentee Ren later today, right?
Mars: Oh yeah! Been watching her for years...she's totally one of mine. Adore that girl...but you're right. She'd have to be pretty mental to be working with John! He's nuts.
Moon: No, Mars, not "mental". Mentee. You know...his protégée? [Mars looks confused] On second thought, let's go with "student". Does that make sense?
Mars: Yeah, I can understand that. John's teaching her?
Moon: Precisely! Anyway, I wanted to be the one to tell you there's been a slight change in plans and she will have to cancel her meeting with you today. But she'll reschedule as soon as she can get together.
Mars: What? That bitch is gonna diss me? For what?!? What the fuck is more important than ME??
Moon: As I understand it, she's...[digs in Erin Condren planner] away on a Mars-ruled vacation with her boyfriend.
Mars: I'm not thick, Lady Moon. And I know "trips with boyfriends" are NOT in my line of work. That sounds more like a Venus vacation to me. Unless it's like paintball or fencing or a mud race, or some shit! Otherwise no fucking way!
Moon: Please understand that she is incredibly upset to have to reschedule her visit with you, so much so that she thought you might react this way. So she asked me to assure you that it is a snowboarding vacation with her exceptionally well-muscled boyfriend. Does that help at all?
Mars: [pouting] I guess a little, Lady Moon. But that girl just gets me. I can't wait to talk to her; her nickname is "Daughter of Mars" if you didn't know!
Moon: I actually did know that! You should be proud to have someone that completely epitomizes what you stand for.
Mars: [confused] Ummm, yeah, that sounds good I guess.
Moon: [smiles] She's a lot like you, huh?
Mars: AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Moon: That's the spirit. I think.
Mars: [singing] All I do is win win win no matter what...
No comments:
Post a Comment