Guest Blogger Hilary Harley on Venus Retrograde: She's a Lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

A HUGE Metaphysical Meanderings welcome to astrologer Hilary Harley, who was gracious enough to provide her interpretation of Venus' upcoming retrograde next month!

Venus is one of two beneficent planets in our galaxy, the other being Jupiter.  She rules Taurus and Libra, one earth and the other an air sign.  Both cultivate beauty in all forms imaginable, whether the flowers you plant in your garden, songs you write and sing, or the table you set for a dinner party.  Venus is grace, style and elegance.  But most especially, Venus is Values.  She rules our skills and talents, how we earn money through the application of these, our relationships, self-esteem, possessions, our worth.

Next month, Venus turns retrograde motion.  Most of us are familiar with Mercury retrograde as it occurs three times a year.  However, once every eighteen months Venus turns retrograde as well. From Tuesday, May 12^th to Thursday, June 25^th, Venus reverses gear in the sign of Gemini. 

What does this mean for you? 

First let’s look at Gemini.  The air sign of intellect, Gemini rules the mental realm:  thoughts, language, communication, speech, cause and effect…no small thing.  It is the Information Gatherer in Chief, along with disseminator of said information.  Think of a radio, which Gemini rules, giving and receiving messages constantly.  Thus, Gemini rules our rational, conscious mind, what occupies our thoughts presently, in the now, at this very moment.  It is the great connector, so ground transportation:  cars, buses, trains and the rides we take via these modes.  This is also the arena of our immediate environment, our neighbors, neighborhood and community and the extent to which we are engaged in it.  Last, the sign of duality, Gemini the Twins, rules siblings and pairs of any kinds.

In Gemini, Venus has an intellectual bent.  She wants to know, engage, discuss, read, write, be informed and share information.  She attracts smart people and wants to be in the thick of their knowledge. Venus in Gemini encourages us to be conscious of our thoughts, words, and language. She understands the cause and effect of thoughts and speech:  that kind words sooth and inspire; that insults hurt or do worse; that our thoughts affect our emotions which affect our actions.

If you know where Gemini occurs in your natal chart, you will find Venus going back and forth across that sector of your life this Spring.  For 40 days and 40 nights, she reverses gear to mark her shift from super bright evening star to the first to rise before the Sun as morning star.   That bit about 40 days and 40 nights….sound familiar?  Hmmmm, yes it does. 

Jesus wandered through the desert for this length of time.  And the Sumerian goddess Inannna descended into hell to meet her wanton sister Ereshkigal.   As did Ishtar and Isis, the Babylonian and Egyptian versions of Inanna, all forerunners of Venus.   Each relates a dark night of the soul we do not associate with Venus.  Whether it is the story of Jesus’ confrontation by the devil in desert or Inanna crossing through seven gates of hell to redeem and own her shadow sister side, the mission remains the same:   We are invited to pause and dance with pieces of ourselves we either do not know or acknowledge.  Emerging on the other side of this period, we will know who we are better than we ever did before.  No matter the sign it occurs, Venus retrograde is reflective and thus deeply psychological.

Enter the “re-” words.  As with all interior planet retrograde phases, the Re words are ready for prime time and take precedence.   In the case of Venus, because she rules relationships, this really means relationship review, including and especially with our primary relationship:  our Self.  

Reflection:  Who are you?  Have you checked in with yourself lately?  Given the extraordinary time we are living through now, most of us have been forced to hit the pause button and consider exactly how we conduct our lives, who we’ve become and most importantly, do we want to continue living the way we did before Corona virus? 

Reflections of self-worth are as much about our wallet as they are how we feel about ourselves.  Between May 12 and June 25^th we take stock, conduct an in-depth inventory of our skills and talents, both those we acknowledge or barely acknowledge or even perhaps, have yet to be discovered.  The virus has sparked necessity, the mother of invention.  If you find your bank account rapidly dwindling, Venus retrograding through Gemini has us thinking on all cylinders about new ways to apply skills and talents to earn money.  Have you been working a dead end job (which maybe no longer exists) simply to make ends meet?  Venus retrograde has you considering more soulful pursuits.  In alignment with yourself, your purpose, your confidence lifts.

In Gemini, we review information, journal, reconnect with neighbors and our community in ways that harken to days gone by, in a simpler time.  Take car rides and let your imagination flow, to local destinations, state parks and recreation spots.  Watch the conversations unfold along the way.  Expect heightened involvement with siblings, perhaps those you’ve become distant or even estranged; at a minimum, ponder your sibling relationships.  Others from earlier in your life may also resurface:  old partners, friends, relatives. 

The caution of Venus retrograde is temptation.  Enter mythology or biblical parables:  this is where the Devil comes to entice us.  Hit the pause button:  do you really want to indulge in an affair with your ex boy/girlfriend?  In Gemini, there is also the temptation to misuse of language, either thought or spoken.  It is vital to understand the power of your words, both positive self-talk and the information you share.  Watch, in particular, your thoughts and where they lead.  Are you mentally spiraling into hollow pits of negativity?

Covid 19 has sparked fear mongering of the worst variety, triggering all manner of psychological hijacking.  The great news is that now is a perfect time to retrain your brain.  Use affirmations, mantras, meditations, positive people, books and conversations to redirect your thoughts. 

Along the same line, gossip is never a good idea but especially this May and June, your words may come back to haunt you.  Information exchanged and shared during this period must be based on proven facts, evidence, science and NOT magical thinking.   It is essential that you speak the truth as best you understand it.  The words you speak represent who you are, your character and your worth.

By the same measure, since Venus rules the stock market, our possessions and how we earn a living, May 12-June 25^th is not the time to invest in things we cannot afford, whether cars, luxury items, or pipe dreams.  Gemini is the salesman of the zodiac and its versatility with language is also its biggest vice:  avoid deals and situations that seem too good to be true.  Hit the pause button and sleep on it.  In the morning, check in with your gut.  What does it say?  Mid-May through June is not an optimal time to start a new job either, but for anyone receiving unemployment now, new work is best begun this summer.

To recap, some brief do’s and don’ts of Venus Retrograde in Gemini:

DO:

Reconnect with siblings, neighbors, community

Reflect on your relationship with yourself, your life, especially on a car drive

Review  information, messages, your spending habits, finances

DON’T:

Fall for temptation  

Be seduced into negative mental spirals, sexual affairs, purchasing luxury items, gossip

To read more about Venus, her cycles and connection to your life, I highly recommend the works of Ronnie Gale Dreyer and Arielle Guttman.

To book an astrological consultation with Hilary, please contact her: hilary@hilaryharley.com or www.hilaryharley.com

And a GREAT BIG THANK YOU to John Marani for inviting me to guest blog on his marvelous site!

Interview with Mercury, Part 6

John: We’ve covered a lot of ground today, so before I release you from your contractual obligations, let’s talk about what we went over.

Mercury: You should know by now that I’m always up for a conversation. And my followers are waiting with anticipation for me to return to the information world. I owe them an Instagram post on my morning.

John: [rolls eyes] I’m sure they can hold it together another few minutes. But you well know that the average adult needs to hear something three times before they retain it.

Mercury: Indeed, I do. Hopefully your readers will remember some of this and my time won’t be a complete waste.

John: Basically, you’re the information manager of the Zodiac.

Mercury: Yes, I am the Chief Information Officer of this collection of planets. Information is everything!

John: Our communicative ability and style is heavily influenced by your position in our respective charts.

Mercury: Absolutely! When I’m in Gemini and Virgo I’m in my strongest positions—meaning the places where the information can flow most easily—and I have a tougher time in Sagittarius and Pisces.

John: I noticed that you didn’t use the terms “best” or “worst” for these particular positions. Can you explain why you did that?

Mercury: Isn’t it obvious? In signs where I’m strong, it’s just that: Powerful. But powerful doesn’t mean better. I encourage all your readers to find out where Mercury is in their charts and take what they find as impressions, themes, and ideas to think about.

John: It’s good that you said that, because people do tend to take things very personally.

Mercury: And by now you know that I do not. It’s so easy to find out where I was when a person was born, too. Type in “free astrology chart” in your search engine of choice, plug in your data, and voila! A chart will appear. If you’re not sure what I look like, ummm…John, could you put a Mercury symbol somewhere on here?

John: Already done. And they already know to look near the Sun.

Mercury: Yes, knowing that will help! I can’t go more than 28 degrees from the Sun, so I’m always hanging close to the boss.

John: That does make it easier to find you quickly. [consults iPad] We had quite a list of things for your job—communication, memory, reason, logic, comprehension, and languages, to name just a few.

Mercury: Correct. I’m a very versatile planet and if it involves the human brain, likely you’ll want to look to me.

John: There’s a question that has been bothering me.

Mercury: Well, an unasked question won’t help your readers. Shoot!

John: We’re constantly talking about the word “fact” these days, and whether or not things are “true”. Can you shed some light on this dilemma?

Mercury: Definitely. A fact is a piece of information that can be independently verified. That’s my domain. But I want to make something clear: I’m not the “big picture view” in the interpretation of those facts.

John: No, because you don’t do the “big picture”. You’re a small picture planet.

Mercury: Well said! Let me give you an example. If you watch the news—and I’m guessing the vast majority of you are sitting at home doing just that these days—they try to present the facts. And in the early days of journalism, they did just that. You can easily say “The average cost of home ownership was X dollars a year ago but is now Y dollars.” The organization who compiled the data crunched the numbers to come up with the final figures that the journalist presents. Clear so far?

John: Yes, it is. Please continue!

Mercury: That’s very much my area. They took X group of homeowners and collected data to come to their conclusion, based on their hopefully logical methodology for the study.

John: I think that’s sensible.

Mercury: Yes. People draw conclusions based on information constantly in their day to day lives, usually without even realizing it! Now comes the more difficult question: Is the information about average home ownership true?

John: [hesitates] If a news organization I trust puts it out, I’d be inclined to say yes.

Mercury: And you wouldn’t be wrong at all. The vast majority of people do that. Where you humans start to run into trouble is the how and the purpose of presenting the information.

John:  Fascinating! Most humans don’t think that way.

Mercury: But they have the ability! Critical thinking is also my job. Remember that part of what I do is make people curious.

John: If I understand you correctly, what you’re saying is that you provide the information as well as the ability to evaluate it to determine if it is true or false for ourselves?

Mercury: PRECISELY! A lot of people don’t take that second step, but it’s very much my job, too.

John: But let’s go back to the how and purpose. Tell us what you mean by that.

Mercury: How you present your facts is almost as important as the facts themselves. I prefer all the information on the table so people can—you guessed it—determine the solution for themselves. Remember on standardized tests how they added an answer that was something like, “I don’t have enough information to determine the answer”?

John: YES! I was so pissed about that. You really had to know what you were doing, because it made you ask yourself that important question each time. That was you?

Mercury: John, lots of people blame me for lots of things, but I own this one completely. It reinforces the how because you will draw different conclusions based on what information that test designer includes. And as an aside, that’s why word problems are one of my favorite things on the planet.

John: This will conjure up a lot of unpleasant test-taking memories from my readers, to be sure. So what’s your point?

Mercury: If you present an incomplete picture, anyone looking at it will draw inaccurate conclusions. And that brings me to my second point: The purpose, or how and why the information is used. People will often leave out information to support their egos or avoid unpleasantness, as well as to fulfill their particular agenda. Even that word—agenda—gives people pause because it just sounds nefarious. But I want to ensure your readers know that I provide the information only.

John: To be clear, you’re the Chief Information Officer but you’re not the analyst?

Mercury: No, I’m an analyst for certain. But larger and more abstract ideas, agendas, and long-term goals are not in my wheelhouse. Those are all big-picture concepts, and I’m the day-to-day kind of guy. People use the information for their own purposes, and that’s not my concern; that's where the word truth gets fuzzy, and it can often indicate someone's opinion and not actual, factual analysis. You’ll have to ask Jupiter about truth because his answer will be very different from mine. 

John: So the information is what it is, but any opinion provided above and beyond a basic, empirical data analysis is not your job?

Mercury: Correct. Please don’t edit that part out of this interview. I’m a powerful planet but most people don’t use me to my fullest extent. [pauses] Are we almost done?

John: Actually, I think we ARE done, if we’re being precise. [chuckles]

Mercury: [nods] I see what you did there. Touché!

John: Don’t forget your electronics.

Interview with Mercury, Part 5

John: I know that my audience will find your remarks extremely helpful moving forward. [consults iPad] Let’s talk about the signs that you work best in next, if we could. Both the Sun and the Moon talked about the one sign they rule. Which one do you rule?

Mercury: Actually, there are two signs that I rule, if we’re being precise.

John: Two? How is that possible?

Mercury: So back in the day, when there were only seven visible planets, the rulership of the signs was given to just those seven. The Sun and Moon got one each, and the rest of us got two signs for our own. Classical astrologers still use these “rulerships” today.

John: But we’ve discovered more planets now, so…

Mercury: As you humans came across more of us, astrologers re-assigned certain signs to different planets. Not all of them, mind you, but a few. Modern astrologers favor the new assignments, which change after new planets are discovered. The last time this happened was in 1931, when Pluto was discovered.

John: That’s fascinating. Which set of rulerships is the right one?

Mercury: Totally loaded question. And John, you must know by now that astrologers argue about everything. The answer to that question is “It depends on who you ask.” Some split the difference and use various hybrids, too. 

John: Of course. I should have known better. But I don’t want to lose this point about the discovery of Pluto. Wasn’t Walt Disney just starting out around that time?

Mercury: Absolutely. Why do you think the dog was named Pluto? It was a brilliant strategy. Disney said he’d name the next character after the new planet, and the rest is history.

John: Marketing at is finest. But it was a novel concept back then.

Mercury: It sure was. But returning to the rulership concept, in my case, nothing has changed, fortunately; I’ve always ruled two signs and I still rule the same two signs as I did thousands of years ago.

John: That’s convenient. Which two are under your direct control?

Mercury: Gemini and Virgo.

John: Can you explain why those two are yours?

Mercury: Have you met a Gemini sun person before? The chatterboxes of the zodiac, I call them. They are excellent at using words to get what they want. They make excellent communicators; they speak well, they write well, and usually they’re very quick on the uptake. The challenge they face is that the idea of “truth” is not always important to them. In other words, it’s easy for them to manipulate people with words. And since, like me, they don’t really resonate with emotion, they can easily hurt people with words without a second thought sometimes.

John: Sounds amazing and yet a bit dangerous.

Mercury: I hope people understand that every sign has their good and bad points. Gemini people already get a bad rap online, so please ask people not to overly generalize. Not every Gemini lies and manipulates; there are many that are excellent information managers, actors, intelligence professionals, and lawyers.

John: Yes, that’s true. I happen to have two Gemini sisters. One is a lawyer and the other is a mental health counselor, and both are very talented. I find it fascinating that both get paid to talk for a living, too.

Mercury: Indeed. Remember also that lack of emotion isn’t a bad thing all the time. I call it extreme objectivity. You need people who parse information carefully and can paint a picture of what is going on from many disparate places without a bias.

John: You also said Virgo was one of your signs. My question is that if they both belong to you, how are they different?

Mercury: That, good sir, is an outstanding question. Astrologically, every sign has one element and one quality. Both of these signs are very flexible—we call the quality of both mutable as they help us transition from one season to the next—spring into summer, and summer into fall, respectively. But Gemini is of the air element and Virgo is an earth sign. My energy comes from the same place, but it manifests differently in these two signs.

John: You’ll need to clarify that one, Mercury.

Mercury: Think of it this way: My energy goes outward with Gemini—talking, gossiping, collecting, parsing, and disseminating information. With Virgo, my energy is directed inward; Virgo people use that discriminating sense to help others and help themselves become better people. So, the result is different.

John: But there are some similarities, right?

Mercury: Indubitably. Gemini has more of an “information for information’s sake approach” generally. Virgo has a much more practical streak and has a tendency to want to get things done. Gemini has more fun with language, while Virgo focuses more on extreme attention to detail. I call Virgo the troubleshooters of the Zodiac for their outstanding analytical abilities. There’s an old saying: Make a plan, and then let a Virgo shoot holes in it. If the Virgo can’t find anything wrong, then it’s likely a great plan.

John: You’re right. Those are two very different ways of using the energy. Speaking of that energy, can you give us an image to work with? The Moon said her energy flowed like a river. How would you describe yours?

Mercury: Think of the fastest Internet speed you’ve ever had. Now double it. When I’m in Gemini or Virgo, that’s how it feels.

John: So those are the signs you rule, but what about the exaltation, that sign where the benefits can be even more apparent?

Mercury: Well, in my case, I rule Virgo, but it’s also considered exalted as well. There is a refinement of my energy in Virgo that doesn’t exist in Gemini; it’s much easier for Gemini to overload with information that may or may not be useful. Virgo's more practical side refines and focuses my ability a little more. Does that make sense?

John: Certainly. [makes notes on iPad] The Sun talked about the signs as suits of clothes. Which signs don’t flatter your figure, if you take my meaning?

Mercury: When I’m in Pisces—which is both my fall and one of my detriment positions—I don’t perform at my best. There can be a lassitude—a laziness, if we’re being precise—and an emotional focus that doesn’t really match with my overall energy. I will say, for full disclosure, that Mercury in Pisces is much better at picking up the “vibes” or what is left unsaid. And if you’re talking about creative writing, Mercury in Pisces stimulates the imagination.

John: Sounds dreamy. What imagery can you provide for this position?

Mercury: Remember when the Internet first started, and we had to dial in and connect via telephone? The data would flow, but very slowly compared to today, and it was not particularly reliable. That’s Mercury in Pisces.

John: You said that Pisces was one of your detriment signs. Is the other Sagittarius?

Mercury: Well done! How did you come up with that?

John: I noticed that the rulership and detriment signs seem to be opposite signs, and the same appears true for the exaltation and fall signs. Logically speaking, Sagittarius was the only choice remaining.

Mercury: Spectacular thinking and absolutely correct! My Sagittarius position can be a little bit too…blunt and thoughtless, if we’re being precise. It’s a shoot from the hip, tell-it-like-it-is-and-apologize-later sort of deal. The revolutionary astrologer Noel Tyl referred to Sagittarius as having heavy “opinionation”. I really miss that man…he had some great words!

John: But there is hope for folks who have Mercury in Sagittarius, right?

Mercury: Come on, now. Have you learned nothing? Hope is just another word to me. You need to tell them there’s hope for them because I don’t care one way or another.  

John: That’s a fair point, Mercury. Let me rephrase: Would you please share the positive side of this placement for us?

Mercury: A magnificent question that I can answer, John. They are good at honesty and idealism, higher education and abstract thought, and the overall pursuit of knowledge.

John: [takes notes on iPad] And do you have any imagery for this placement?

Mercury: The best one is probably plain-old snail mail. But it is still reliable, and the message gets through…just slowly. I don’t think most people remember life before the Information Age!

Interview with Mercury, Part 4

John: I think it’s vital that we recap the last part of this conversation, Mercury. This is information my readers need to hear more than once. [consults notes] So you cover the same area of the zodiac three times, three or four times a year.

Mercury: True. To complete this task, I will need to slow down while still moving forward, turn around, move backward through the zodiac for a time, slow down, turn direct again, and return to my usual speedy self.

John: That’s a revelation for a lot of my readers, I’m sure, because of the implications there.

Mercury: No implications, John. Just facts. That’s all I do, as you recall.

John: Come on. Think about it from a human’s perspective. Your retrograde periods scare people. We’ve just told them that the effects of these thrice-yearly periods are double the length they thought they were.

Mercury: Their fear doesn’t have any impact on me. I’m just doing my job.

John: You’re going to have to help me reassure people that this isn’t a terrible revelation.

Mercury: No, actually I don’t. I’m contractually obligated to do this interview about my role here, which is to provide information, apparently without access to any of my electronic devices thanks to the draconian document the Sun signed to ensure my compliance. Reassurance, dear sir, is your job. Or not. I don’t really care.

John: Tell us what kinds of things can happen during this entire seven-week period, then.

Mercury: Fair enough. Once I enter the area I’ll transit three times, as I stated earlier, things can go a little haywire. As you’ve seen, I have many responsibilities and there can be some negative impact for your readers.

John: Yes, I hear about you from people all the time. You’re not as well liked as many of your colleagues for that reason.

Mercury: Their feelings about me are truly irrelevant to my existence. Regardless, in these situations I realize that I can be inconvenient to many humans. Anything that I’m involved in can go slightly off kilter.

John: To cite a specific example, there is a greater possibility of misunderstandings between people.

Mercury: Certainly. It’s not a great time for important conversations. The more important it is, the more likely it should be put off if possible.

John: And if it can’t be postponed?

Mercury: Then I encourage face to face conversation to reduce the chances of one party or the other misunderstanding what was discussed. I always shake my head when people decide to have important conversations—or even better, arguments—via text message or one of the other somewhat impersonal mediums. Emojis don’t necessarily enhance comprehension.

John: Makes sense. A lot of folks worry about paperwork problems when you’re away from the office, too.

Mercury: Those potential problems are easier to handle. You’ve really got to review documents carefully. In the case of something like an important contract or a house purchase, for example, have someone else look them over, too, in case you missed something. And please make copies of everything so you’re covered if your important documents, like your tax forms, get lost in the mail.

John: That’s good advice in any case. That very thing happened to me this year. I emailed my information to our tax preparer and somehow, when I got the confirmation that it had been delivered, it said it had arrived in El Paso, Texas. My accountant is maybe five miles from here, in Virginia.

Mercury: What happened?

John: After some digging, I found out my accountant got everything just fine. Turns out that the package tracking number had been used on two different packages! What are the chances? And that wasn’t even during a retrograde!

Mercury: Whoa. That’s really random.

John: And speaking of random, I will say that I suspect that for many, it’s the vexing technology problems that arise during these retrograde periods of yours that people remember.

Mercury: Look, all of you carry networked computers that fit in your pockets. The point of these devices is communication, so you have to expect that when I’m out of the office there are going to be some inconveniences.

John: Yes. There’s a greater likelihood that messages will go awry: trouble downloading or sending emails or texts, struggles with any social media platform, or other bizarre communication errors are common.

Mercury: Very true. There’s not a ton you can do about those, but you can lessen the chance of them happening by updating the apps on your devices, for example, only when necessary during my retrogrades. It’s a bad move to perform any kind of hardware and software upgrades as well; as with difficult or important conversations, try to wait if you can.

John: And if you can’t wait?

Mercury: [shrugs] Hope you backed everything up!

John: That’s an awfully glib thing for you to say, but you don’t care, do you?

Mercury: If I told you I did, it would be a lie. [pause] But there are a few good things to do when I go out of town, and the “re-“ in retrograde is a good reminder.

John: Such as…?

Mercury: To start with, it’s a good time to re-lax. Re-tool old projects. Re-examine situations with a critical eye. Re-edit that manuscript you’ve been working on. Basically, finish up loose ends on things that you’ve started. Beginning new projects isn’t a great idea, but these periods can help you be more efficient and effective.

Interview with Mercury, Part 3

John: Speaking of going back to things…

Mercury: I knew we’d get here eventually. Let’s do this…it may bother lots of people, but it doesn’t bother me. I’m just doing my job.

John: One of the most common questions I get is what happens when you go retrograde.

Mercury: Of course it is! So many people only know about me because of my retrograde periods. And you astrologers don’t help at all. You hype it and then people take that information and freak out. Again, it’s not my responsibility to do that. You people ought to know better.

John: I won’t disagree, but let’s present the real story, with just the facts, if you would.

Mercury: [smiles] Definitely. Let’s start with the basics. Retrograde means “backward”. As planets move through the zodiac, normally we are moving in direct motion; that is to say, we move forward through the degrees and signs. I start at 0 degrees of a sign and move through it until I reach 29 degrees 59 minutes. Then I enter another sign.

John: But during this period, you go backward through the zodiac degrees and signs?

Mercury: Correct. We’re moving ahead too quickly though. HAH! A little humor there. Anyway, let’s set the scene a little bit here for the readers.

John: I find the best way to show folks is to describe a situation and then show the chart. So, let’s take your next retrograde coming up and break it down. [checks iPad] My ephemeris says you’ll go retrograde again on June 18, and that you will travel from 14 Cancer 46 back to 5 Cancer 30.

Mercury: Not so fast. The information you presented is correct but incomplete. Tell me something. When do I pass 5 Cancer 30 before the retrograde begins?

John: That would be on June 2.

Mercury: Excellent. THAT, dear sir, is the date that people should be concerned about.

John: Really? Why?

Mercury: Because that is when I enter the area that I will cover three times for the retrograde cycle. At that time, my powers start to get a little bit unreliable. Astrologers like you call it the Mercury shadow.

John: That’s an important distinction. I’ll put the chart up to illustrate.

Mercury: From June 2 to June 18, I am still moving forward; in other words, the retrograde period still has not officially begun. But I’m slowing down! I can’t turn on a dime, so I have to get slower and slower until I start moving backward in the zodiac on June 18. When I turn around, there is a brief period when I won’t be moving at all, and then I start going backward. That point where I start moving backward is called the retrograde station.

John: Right. And your power is based on your speed, right? So, you’re moving backward on June 18, but not at full speed.

Mercury: Absolutely. I can’t just put the pedal to the metal; I ramp up my speed slowly, heading backward now.

John: How long are you officially retrograde? In other words, from retrograde station until you turn direct again, how long is it?

Mercury: Usually about three weeks. In this case, it will be from June 18 until July 12.

John: And of course, you have to slow down again before you change directions.

Mercury: Precisely. But when I reverse myself yet again, on July 12, I’ll arrive at what we call my direct station. I’ll be in direct motion again, moving forward through the zodiac at 5 Cancer 30.

John: I see what’s happening. You’re not up to full speed again yet, so we have another shadow period until…

Mercury: Until I return to the point where I went retrograde in the first place, at 14 Cancer 46.

 John: That won’t be until July 26!

Mercury: Sure. What’s your point?

John: You’re not retrograde for three weeks; it’s more like seven weeks. Tell me how that is the same!

Mercury: That’s an inaccurate statement. You asked me earlier how long I was retrograde—moving backward. I told you about three weeks, and that’s correct. I arrive at retrograde station on June 19, and I arrive at my direct station on July 12. That’s about 3 weeks. [hesitates]

John: [motions him on] Go on. I want them to hear this directly from the horse’s mouth.

Mercury: I’ve always found that to be a bizarre turn of phrase.

John: Don’t distract me with word games, now. You said you cover the same ground three times. And as you do so, what happens?

Mercury: Ah ha…now you’re asking the right question!

John: Out with it.

Mercury: [pauses] The impact of transiting the same area of the zodiac three times could be felt for as long as seven weeks, from the time I enter until the time I leave that zone.

Interview with Mercury, Part 1

John: Hi everyone…and I’m here today to continue my interviews with the astrological planets. I’m pleased to have with me the ultimate communicator of the astrological world, Mercury!

Mercury: Glad to be here, John. [cell phone buzzes and Mercury picks it up] My followers are going to love the press, too. [looks carefully at phone screen] Oh, that’s fantastic! [looks up] I suppose I better put this on do not disturb…

John: Actually, the Sun told me that part of the deal with these interviews was that I’d have your full attention for as long as I needed it. He was very emphatic about that point. 

Mercury: I guess that would depend on how you define “full”, right? [smiles]

John: Thankfully, we won’t have to split hairs, since I’m the one who has the power to decide if I am receiving your complete cooperation.

Mercury: I mean no disrespect to you, but, but unless it’s in writing… [shrugs shoulders and picks up his phone again]. Sorry.  

John: [frowns] I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this…at least not right away. [puts down iPad and selects a document from a manila folder] Take a look at this, Mercury. As the ruler of comprehension in the zodiac, I know the complicated legal jargon is not going to confuse you. [hands the document to Mercury]

Mercury: [scans document while holding phone in the other hand] Wow. It appears that you and the Sun dedicated an entire paragraph of this agreement to me. Fascinating. [pauses and returns the document to John] Are you planning to invoke the powers bestowed upon you in subsection C, paragraph 64?

John: [resolute] Unfortunately, I am.

Mercury: Please…I’ll put my phone down. We can work this out…I’m expecting a very important message. Please? Don’t cut me off from the outside world…there’s so much going on right now…

John: [stands and reads the document] Mercury, as stated in subsection C, paragraph 64, I read the following to invoke my powers listed herein: I, the interviewer, hereby require that you, the interview subject, relinquish any electronic devices on your person or in any pocket, bag, bodily orifice or other container in the interview subject’s possession…

Mercury: Damn!

John: [continues reading] …including but not limited to, any object that sends or receives an electronic, Bluetooth, radio or other digital signal. In case of any disputed object, the interviewer will have authority to seize any item he sees as a potential distraction.

Mercury: But what if I…

John: Mercury, let me finish, please. [resumes reading] The interviewer’s decision is final, and the subject will have no right to appeal. The interviewer will invoke these powers whenever necessary and will store each electronic object in a separate Faraday bag until the subject completes the interview to the satisfaction of the interviewer, regardless of duration. [pauses] Do you understand your responsibilities as I have read them to you?

Mercury: Well, shitfuck.

John: Does that expletive constitute your consent, Mercury? Are you prepared to comply? 

Mercury: Yes. [brightens] But you can’t possibly have enough Faraday bags for all my electronics, and then I would say you are not fulfilling your obligations. That would make the whole section null and void, so why don’t we just move on and I’ll do a better job keeping my phone out of sight, hmmm?

John: [opens a large box at his feet filled with Faraday bags of various sizes] I think you’ll find that I am fully prepared to exercise my authority to its fullest. [smiles] Please surrender the aforementioned objects. Place your backpack and all electronics on the table for appropriate packaging and storage.

[20 minutes later]

Mercury: I must admit I’m very impressed. Who would have thought to bring 25 Faraday bags, even one big enough to hold an iPad Pro?

John: Thankfully, I did. [places a large pile of filled bags in a second box and moves it to the wall behind him] And do you normally bring this much electronic paraphernalia with you wherever you go? [sits back down] You could start your own communications center with all this!

Mercury: Yes. I like to make sure I have access to whatever I need and that I never run out of power.

John: I can assure you that you don't need any of it right now. All I need is to talk to you, Mercury, which in theory shouldn't be challenging for the planet of communication, right? Or was I mistaken?

Mercury: [glowers] MEEE-OUCH. Aren't you supposed to be nice to me and build rapport to make an excellent interview? As I recall that is part of the deal. 

John: You lost that opportunity when I spent the last 20 minutes or so making sure that I had your full and undivided attention. However, you’ll receive all of your electronics when we’re finished. [pause] So why don’t you start by telling our readers what your job is.

Mercury: You poor boy. Sorry you're stuck with Saturn and Pluto. 

John: Since you know that, Mercury, you should already understand how wasting time makes me feel. As such, I respectfully repeat my request for you to answer my question, please. And I only repeat myself once.   

Mercury: You don't have to be rude, not that it bothers me. [pause] My main job is to communicate. When you try to get your message across, no matter how you do it, you’re dealing with me. I rule any activity that involves communication—language, words, translation, interpreting, verbal, non-verbal, no matter the medium.

John: [makes notes on iPad] So I’d say you’re pretty important in our everyday lives. Is that a fair statement?

Mercury: Not really. I think I’m more than “pretty important.” So, I’d go with “extremely important” or “of vital importance” if we’re being accurate. But I’m guessing I don’t get editing power over the content of this interview, do I?

John: [picks up the same document from earlier] Subsection C, paragraph 65 spells that out quite clearly. Do I need to read the appropriate citation?

Mercury: [holds up both hands] No, you really don’t. I believe you this time.

John: Great! Then we can press on. [checks iPad for notes] You’re one of the personal planets, so yes, you’re important. Most people know you’re in charge of communication, but could you tell us some other areas that people might not know about?

Mercury: I’m not just about the what of communication, either. I’m about how you actually do it. My sign and house can describe your entire communication style.

John: This is great information. What else?

Mercury: I rule logic and intelligent reasoning. When you’re sitting in front of a crossword puzzle trying to figure out which 11-letter word describes “a fear of open spaces” you’re working with me.

John: Excellent. Please continue.

Mercury: Also, comprehension is my area. When you’re learning something new, I will determine how quickly you pick it up and if and for how long you might retain it. So, you can add information capacity and retrieval to the extensive list of my job roles.

John: Information capacity and retrieval?

Mercury: Yes.

John: Sounds like a computer hard drive.

Mercury: My dear sir, it’s not like a computer hard drive; it is the ultimate hard drive, the one that’s in your head!

John: Mercury, I don’t mean to be rude, but you’re going to be without your electronics for even longer if you want to parse every sentence I say today.

Mercury: Considering that you have hardly a chance of intelligent conversation with any of my colleagues, I’d say you’re receiving a rare opportunity to engage in some verbal repartee with me. You should treasure it!