Thursday, September 10, 2015

Out of Office Reply

Dear Reader,

Regretfully, John is out of the office and unavailable at the present time. He will be unable to assist you with your tarot, astrology, or other needs, as he is on vacation and his wife will slay him if he even attempts to respond.

To be fair to him, he does want to relax, but he's not very skilled at it. Some of the other planets and I will be helping him out by blogging for him while he's gone, and thereby helping him to have a relaxing break from his duties. 

Also, his beloved wife--who is one of my Virgo people and a very talented author--knows that it will be extremely difficult for him to communicate during this time, which makes it that much more likely that he will actually relax. For the most part, John says "I'm going to relax after I finish [INSERT PROJECT HERE]." Hours later, he's filled his time with work projects instead of relaxing; that Saturn sonofabitch really has a hold on him. [NOTE: Delete that last phrase before publication!]

Anyway, the main point of my narrative is to ensure you understand that John will indeed be back in a few weeks and that at that time he would be happy to assist you with your metaphysical needs. But at the moment he is not available, not at all or in any way, shape or form.

Speaking personally, I don't know what he's going to do without Internet for that long. Seriously! How is he going to know what's going on? I mean...I can't even imagine it.

As a public service, he'd also like me to let you know that very soon I'll be entering my storm. He understands and appreciates your concerns about my activities, and assures me that there are a number of past blogs to read on this topic if you need information.

Before he left, John made sure to tell me to express his "sincere appreciation" for all his clients and readers, and to thank you for all of your patronage. He looks forward to getting back in touch when he returns.



PS: This also means that John will be unavailable to see and interact with this blog. Hmmmm...that means that we could get up to some interesting things and it will be too late for John to do anything about them until he comes back. So it's almost like the lunatics will be running the asylum for a while...

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