Mercury: Hello everyone!
Mars: What the fuck are you doing here? John told me to say what I'm doing this year. Wait your fucking turn, brainiac!
Mercury: Well, someone didn't read his email, it seems. You were a no-show at the yearly public speaking class, which is mandatory. As such, the Sun dispatched me to monitor your public interactions.
Mars: In English, Mr. Logic!
Mercury: Dude, you fuckin' blew off my goddamn class, so I'm sittin' on your ass!
Mars: I don't know how in the fuck you do that, Merc, but it's scary and sorta cool.
Mercury: Speech in all its forms can be very powerful, but it must be appropriate to the situation for maximum effectiveness and efficiency.
Mars: Dude, you remember the teacher from Peanuts that sounded like a fuckin' trombone? WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH! That's what I heard!
Mercury: Let's get to your forecast for the year. Proceed like you normally would and I'll jump in if necessary to ensure the audience will understand your unorthodox lexicon and awkward phrasing.
Mars: Great idea! [picks up Mercury]
Mercury: Put me down, you great behemoth!
Mars: Absofuckinglutely, Mr. Microphone! [drops Mercury in a closet and closes and locks the closet door]. There...time to get started!
[muffled shouting from closet]
Mars: Sorry, Merc, but I work alone!
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